#i do also need them and i like the drink version more than capsules or whatever

[autobahnmp3]

also i went to like the local 'costco' type store to check out their garden section i was thinking abt applying for as a part time job but i guess they don't have it yet

[jaeminlore]

tlc | mark lee

[mark takes care of u when ur sick. roommate au. pure fluff. alt version on ao3 is also mine]

-

So, you’re sick. It’s just a small bug, nothing you can’t handle. Sure, you can’t keep food down and you’ve got this chill you can’t shake, but you’re not dying or anything. This is the disclaimer you gave to your worrywart of a roommate, Mark, when you had asked him to bring home some plain crackers and gatorade.

You’re sitting on the couch during sundown. The house is clean, save for the plastic bag of used tissues leaning against the couch. There’s a documentary about some obscure cult in the sixties on the television, and you’re wrapped up in your most comforting blanket. It happens to be Mark’s, taken from his room. The weight of it feels like a hug, and it smells of him, like that vanilla lotion his mom ingrained into his head to use after showering.

With the volume of the television, you barely hear Mark walk through the door. When he sets a takeout bag onto the coffee table, you finally look up, “Oh hey, Mark. What’d you get?”

“I got you soup, Dork,” Mark says. He sits on the table, long legs causing his knees to brush against the edge of the couch and subsequently, your sock-covered toes. When you look at him, you realize he’s pouting. “You said it wasn’t that bad.”

“It isn’t,” you assure him, but you follow it with a cough to your elbow. You wonder what you look like to make him think it’s worse than it is. “I’m fine.”

“You’re sweating.”

“But I’m cold.”

Mark hums. His cheeks and nose are rosy from the winter air, which makes him look even more adorable than usual. “Tell you what: eat your soup before it gets cold. I’m gonna go set up the bathroom and run a bath. I’ll put some salts and oils in there that are good for congestion, and when you’re ready you can come warm up. Maybe it’ll draw the fever out.”

“I don’t have a fever,” you argue.

Mark opens the soup container and hands it to you, along with a spoon. “Whatever you say.”

You try to take your time with the soup, but it takes you a little less than ten minutes to drain the bowl. You're left with a weight in your stomach that chases away the nausea you’ve been feeling all day. You dump the bowl in the sink and head into the bathroom.

Mark had grabbed a pair of your comfiest pajamas and underwear, and set them on the sink counter along with a fluffy towel. The overhead light is off, replaced with a lavender scented candle on the rim of the bathtub. The water is practically steaming, and he’s set up one of those bath pillows so your neck won’t get tired. You’re so thankful the two of you ordered that thing one drunken night.

“Don’t undress yet,” he calls from down the hall. He comes in with his tablet and hands it to you, along with the stand he usually uses when he wants to watch videos. “You can finish your documentary on here!”

Thank God for shared accounts, because Mark sets the tablet up so that it’s right where you paused it in the living room. You watch him work, fiddling with the buttons and fitting the stand on the closed toilet so that it won’t fall into the tub. With fondness, you realize he hasn’t even shed his coat yet, his only goal to make you feel better. He’s often doing that: sacrificing his needs for yours.

And it warms you from your head to your toes. Even more so than the fever, you’re dizzy with the realization that Mark loves you, in whatever way that may be, enough to do all of this for you. You want to repay him, but it will have to wait until you get your energy back.

You do what you can, though. When he stands up, you hug him tight, loving the small sound of surprise that escapes him.

-

Mark turned down your blankets while you were in the bath. There’s a bottle of water on your bedside table and two small pill capsules. You take them, thankful he didn’t get the liquid medicine your mom used to make you drink. You end up draining the water bottle, not realizing how thirsty you were.

You’re almost ready for bed when you realize you still have his tablet, so you make your way across the hall and knock on his door. A sudden shyness overcomes you and has you averting your eyes when he opens the door, finally dressed for his own comfort. “Here’s your tablet back. Thanks for taking care of me, Mark.”

“Always.” Mark isn’t smiling like usual. He’s got this sincere look on his face, furrowed brows and straight mouth, just daring you to defy his gestures of love. “I’m always here for you. You know that.”

“Of course I do,” you assure him with your own look of surety. Some voice in the back of your head is calling it love.

He leans down to kiss your head. “Get some sleep, okay? I’ll keep my ringer on in case you need me.”

“Goodnight, Mark.”

“Goodnight, Dork.”

[dinosaurtsukki]

being the MSBY Jackals’ physiotherapist

anon: HEY BOO! LISTEN BEING THE BLACK JACKELS PHYSIOTHERAPIST! I can imagine a lot of damage I- bye 😽 I could I please have that as a headcanon 👉👈 thanks! ❤️ (that is a If requests are open..)

they are most definitely open and OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING IDEA WHEN I GOT THIS I COULDN’T WAIT TO START. i’ve been watching a lot of vids on what physical therapists do too and i hope you like this it was so fun to write !!

Bokuto Koutarou:

he deadass got you mixed up with the sports psychologist

when he walked into your clinic he was all ‘ah, hey there’ before lying faceup on the cot and just talking about his problems

and at first you were alright cause good to make conversation and everything until you realized.... “this guy thinks i’m the therapist”

bokuto: people always assume that i’m really naive and i kinda am but--

you: bokuto,,,, i’m not the therapist

bokuto: oh 👁👄👁

you: does it, um, hurt anywhere?

bokuto: *points to his heart*

after directing him to therapist’’s office, you finally clear up his misconceptions on what you’re supposed to be

you did hear about bokuto but what you didn’t expect was that he was An Actual Ray of Sunshine

whenever he comes to your office for his weekly check-ups, he always brings some sort of present

he likes to bring a package of cookies and the two of you eat them while you have your session

bokuto still uses the term ‘ouchie’ and it’s adorable

he takes really good of himself and his body so he isn’t prone to serious injuries. as soon as he knows something feels off, he’ll stop himself from working and come to your clinic

except,,, he comes way too often

bokuto: I WAS FLEXING MY FINGER AND THEN IT SUDDENLY MADE A CRACK SOUND WILL IT FALL OFF???

you: you’ve... never popped your fingers before?

bokuto: you can POP your FINGERS???

in interviews, bokuto loves to mention all the people who helped him on his journey and ngl it’s a REALLY LONG LIST but he always, always mentions you as ‘the best physical therapist ever!!’

and it makes you so soft you love your job so much

he actually ends up recommending you to his friend, akaashi keiji, because bokuto knows his shoulders and back hurt 

akaashi comes into your office and just goes: “can you crack my back and shake me like a glowstick?”

you: i think you’re looking for a chiropractor

akaashi: ...

you: okay, lie down. i’ll see what i can do

Hinata Shouyo:

he got LOST TRYING TO FIND YOUR CLINIC

like, you were checking your watch wondering where your client was before he burst into your clinic thirty minutes late

also for some reason he was really nervous to see you poor baby he had the misconception that you were there to find what was wrong with him and then after he wouldn’t be able to play again

so he was genuinely surprised after you just made him do a few stretches for him, recommended some ways to move his body to utilize it better, and just sent him off

hinata: just... just like that?

you: yeah, pretty much. unless you feel that something else is wrong

after that he’s not so afraid to visit your clinic. in fact, he enjoys it quite a lot!

hinata really takes note of the advice you gave him (he brings a notepad and everything) and he likes to call you up to let you know that they worked

he actually calls you A LOT, like you’re probably the person he texts and calls the most other than natsu

at one point he was calling you every single day asking about what to eat until you decided to make a whole-ass weekly meal plan for him to just cycle through

 he’s actually quite flexible (not as much as sakusa though) and he’s so proud of being able to reach farther than his toes

when you’re not looking though he measures himself against the height chart on your wall and you think it’s absolutely adorable

hinata knows how to take care of his body and TRIES not to overwork himself but sometimes he gets really impatient about wanting to improve so he’ll stay late in the gym, practicing his spikes and serves

BUT since his teammates know hinata listens to you they’ll threaten to tell you when he’s overworking

sakusa: hinata, if you don’t leave the gym right this instant i am calling y/n

hinata: just five more minutes!!

sakusa: *pulls out his phones and presses some random numbers in*

hinata: OKAY OKAY I’M GOING

it’s kind of like the adult version of your parents calling the doctor when you don’t want to eat

also you have no idea that this happens

even though he’s moved on from it, hinata still gets a bit paranoid about playing a major game while being sick

you’re always at their games as part of their medic crew and before it starts, hinata always comes up to you and asks if you can take his temperature

you didn’t know why until atsumu explained everything so now you make sure to always have a temperature on you for hinata’s peace of mind

Atsumu Miya:

someone who actually knows what physical therapists actually do thank god 

ngl you’re kinda shookt at how large he is in real life when he walks into your clinic 

he also assumes right away that you want an autograph so he gifts you a signed picture of himself which you always have on your desk from now on because come on you are a fan

atsumu’s really nice to talk to, he does flirt quite a bit but he genuinely asks about how you are too or if your family is doing alright

such a sweet boy

atsumu’s the one who visits your office often but for reasons that are actually relevant to your job because this man just overexerts himself too much

and he keeps brushing it off and saying that he’s alright but you know better you’re a physical therapist for god’s sake

atsumu: i’m telling you. it’s just a sprain!

you: *pokes his ankle*

atsumu: aaaAAAAAAHHHH

he’s the one that you have to constantly keep tabs on and thanks to the help of his teammates and a spare key, you’re able to drop by his apartment once in a while

but no matter how much of a pain in the ass he is you still can’t help but want to take care of him. whenever you make yourself dinner you find yourself making seconds for atsumu

before you know it, you’re making dinner for your favorite MSBY boys because you don’t want them to feel left out

you also have to stop atsumu from overdoing on the protein shakes and drinking vitamins

because he’s addicted protein shakes especially the strawberry-flavored one but you’re the only one who knows that so shhhhhh

atsumu: if one vitamin capsule makes me healthy, does that mean drinking more will make me even more healthy ??

you: NO STOP. STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING. RIGHT NOW.

one time you got a call in the middle of the night from atsumu saying that he ate an entire container of gummy vitamins and you had to run to his place in your pajamas

idk you just see him so much because he keeps getting injuries and it’s hilarious

atsumu, walking into your clinic: hey, doc! they sent me here cause my back hurts from carrying the entire team!

you: atsumu, you dislocated your shoulder

Sakusa Kiyoomi: 

probably your most normal client among the four of them but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy his visits to the clinic 

well, actually when he first visited your clinic, everyone else stalked him because they wanted to see his Flexible Wrists in action

you had to chase them out

sakusa is SO HAPPY that you just took one look at his Flexi-Wrists and noted it down without going batshit over it

you always spray the cots and your instruments with alcohol before he comes in and sakusa knows cause he smells it and he appreciates that so much

one thing that you do notice is that sakusa,,, frequently glances at the jar of lollipops you keep on your desk and give out to your kid patients

and after a session he just lingers for a bit before saying good bye and leaving so one day you just take a chance

you: would you,,, like a lollipop?

sakusa: .... yes please

he chooses a cherry flavored one and is about to leave when he sits back down on the chair

sakusa: they’ll never let me hear the end of it if they see me

so you let him stay in your clinic for a bit longer before deciding to also get a lollipop and that’s how the two of you end your sessions

no talking. just lollipop eating

(i know how it looks but pls don’t add sexual connotations i jus want sakusa to enjoy a fricking lollipop)

he actually likes to remember the scientific muscle names and everything just to impress you 

also, he doesn’t want to give you a hard time but he also likes visiting your office and talking to you (and eating the lollipops) so he makes up all these excuses to come by your clinic

sakusa: i hit my toe on the table

you: okaay, do you need a bandaid?

sakusa: it was the small toe

sakusa’s quite selective about the people he’s with so he’s kind of attached to you now. like it or not, you’re his personal doctor

prepare to receive texts like ‘y/n, i have a cough. what should i drink?’ 

you: sakusa, i’m a PHYSICAL THERAPIST

you: also, ginger tea is supposed to be good for you

he’s actually your eyes and ears when it comes to monitoring the team. kind of like the kid who tattles to the teacher in pre-school

sakusa: y/n, atsumu’s overdoing it again

you: is that so?

atsumu, in the background: NOOOOO NOOO I’M NOT !! SAKUSA’S LYING

you have such a soft spot for sakusa. when he had to be confined at home for breaking his ankle, you sent him a whole jar of lollipops

he ate them all in one day

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @tpwkatsumu​

[elisaphoenix13]

Never Too Old (Or Young)

It was a rare morning that Tony got up before Stephen or the girls, so he took the opportunity to get up and go downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. He may have been awake, but he wasn't quite aware, which was something the coffee would help with. Tony yawns and pours the coffee into a mug when it finishes brewing and he walks over to one of the windows to blearily look out as he drinks his...what did Harley call it? His anti-murder juice.

Each sip he took woke him little by little until he noticed a white smudge on the window in front of him. What the hell? Tony tries to rub it away with his finger, and that's when he realizes that the smudge was on the outside. It looked nothing like bird poop, in fact, it was a solid white. It had a specific curve to it…

The engineer takes a step back when he notices another white smudge out of the corner of his eye, and he sighs heavily when he sees the smudges all over the windows. They were everywhere. It took a couple more thoughtful sips of his morning coffee for things to finally click and Tony realized they were stickers.

"These damn kids," Tony huffs as he walks into the living room.

The likely suspects were Peter and Diana. He considered Harley for a brief moment, but not only would it be hard to place so many stickers on the outside of the tower windows in the Rescue suit...but he was also passed out on the couch. Textbooks were all over the coffee table, the floor, and even a couple were on the teen himself which was a dead giveaway that he had been studying all night. Why he was in the living room instead of up in his room was beyond Tony, but he shrugged it off before carefully taking off the boy's glasses and setting them aside.

Stephen was the one to suspect Harley's far-sightedness a couple of years ago, and the boy had been so relieved that there wasn't something seriously wrong with him. The sorcerer had kept a close eye on Harley after almost a week of complaining of headaches, and the boy would squint while doing homework or reading, pull the book farther away, and even rub his eyes.

Maybe in the hopes of fixing his vision.

So Stephen took him to a specialist since he and Bruce didn't exactly specialize in optometry. The doctor confirmed Stephen's suspicion and they got Harley some prescription glasses which clearly made a difference when he started wearing them. No more furrowing brows, no more headaches, and he got his homework done faster since he wasn't using most of the time to try and see it in the first place.

Tony had a suspicion that William liked them too.

Just as Tony was about to throw a blanket on his oldest son, Levi beat him to it and draped itself across the teen. "Why didn't you do that before?"

"It can only do so much without me." Stephen says as he descends the stairs holding Lucy and with Athena trailing behind him.

"One of our kids decorated the windows." Tony tells him as he puts his coffee down on a book free surface to take their youngest. "And the tree is miraculously still standing."

"That's because Tibbs is in Peter's room. We have a whole day of prying him away from it ahead of us." Stephen rolls his eyes and heads into the kitchen to make himself some tea and a bottle for Lucy.

That was made and handed to Tony before breakfast was started. Thomas and William join a few minutes later and the younger of the twins joins Stephen in the kitchen to help as Thomas retreats into the living room. It turned into a typical morning after that. The rest of the kids woke up, some of the Avengers came up to join the family for breakfast, and sometime in the middle of that chaos, Harley woke up and cleaned up his study mess. Breakfast was eaten and Harley and William made plans to do some last-minute Christmas shopping.

It definitely wasn't a date.

Peter and Cassie had their own plans and Peter was currently showering while his girlfriend went back downstairs and got ready. It was relatively calm then...at least as calm as it could be with as many people as there were. Stephen was reading on the couch with Athena next to him with her head in his lap, and he periodically pet her head as he read. Tony had disappeared down to the lab with Lucy to undoubtedly turn her into a grease monkey, and Valerie was coloring on the floor with Diana. Thomas...was somewhere not dying or getting into trouble so that was enough for them. Harley disappeared as well which was weird since William was still in the living room with the girls.

Stephen nonchalantly turned a page in his book when Peter screeched. The wolf lifted her head at the same time Stephen, Valerie, Diana, and William looked up toward the bedrooms, and Peter soon came out of his room with only a towel around his waist with blue splotches all over his skin.

"HARLEY!" Peter shouts and Stephen sighs.

A prank. Specifically the one where a showerhead was filled with dissolvable dye capsules or Kool-aid powder. Harley was nowhere to be seen and to Stephen's surprise, William burst into hysterical laughter. Peter gave the younger teen a look that was a mix between annoyance, bewilderment, and what looked like glee. Probably because William was actually laughing about something.

"I-I'm sorry!" William sputters through bouts of laughter.

Peter huffs. "Mom, have you seen Harley?"

"Nope." Stephen says as he flips a page in his book and Athena lays her head back down.

Peter looks at William. "Tell your boyfriend it's on!" He disappears back into his room to scrub the blotches off his skin, leaving William to sputter.

Stephen chuckles and returns part of his attention to his book when William ends up blushing bright red.

"You should kiss him." Diana finally says and William's eyes widen.

"Wh-what?!"

"You should kiss Harley. You both like each other." She repeats. "You're worse than Uncle Quill and Uncle Scott."

"He doesn't-"

"He does." Stephen says and turns another page.

"Hey, Will! Come on!" Harley says from the elevator.

William turns a deeper shade of red as he gets up to join Harley, and Stephen hears the older one ask him if he's okay as the elevator doors close. Maybe his and Diana's little confession would be just the push William and Harley needed but then again…

"Boys are stupid."

"Diana." Stephen scolds lightly.

"They are." She mumbles.

"Who's responsible for the stickers?" The sorcerer asks.

"Petey. He crawled on the windows outside and put them on."

"I suppose you supplied them?"

"Nuh-uh. Valerie."

Stephen looks back up from his book and raises an eyebrow at Valerie who definitely looks a little guilty. She pouts up at him with her big blue eyes, and he sighs in defeat. One would think that with seven kids he would be immune to the puppy eyes but he fell for them every time. He was pretty sure the kids knew it too.

No. He was positive.

"Bye Mom! Be back later!" Peter calls out as he races down the stairs and through the door to the stairwell.

"Have fun." Stephen manages to say before the door shuts.

"Mama, look." Valerie holds up the paper she was coloring on and reveals endless scribbles that covered the whole of it.

"It's very beautiful. Do you want to hang it up?" He smiles when her eyes widen in excitement and she nods.

The two year old gets up and walks over to the cloak floating nearby and holds it up to Levi. The cloak happily takes it, and with a cartoonish flourish that briefly made Stephen feel like he was in one, Levi tacks it to the wall with the other drawings. When it claps the folds of its collar together, Stephen knew they were in far too deep. Even his cloak was domesticated.

"My children have turned an ancient relic into a nanny." Stephen bemoans.

"Daddy said you started it." Diana says and Stephen huffs.

"It was one time and that was when Peter was turned into a baby. The cloak was the only one that could reach Peter when he was climbing the walls and the ceiling." Stephen closes his book. "Speaking of your daddy, since he smuggled your sister into the lab, why don't we go to the store?"

"Can I come?" Thomas suddenly says from next to him.

"Get your coat."

In the meantime, Stephen takes the girls upstairs to get them dressed and once they all have their coats on, he opens a portal to the store. Thomas of course returned while the girls were getting ready, and went through the portal after picking up Diana. Stephen huffs fondly when Diana giggles loudly and picks up Valerie to follow them. It took a couple of years, but the twins were finally comfortable asking for things but it was usually still necessities. It was still kind of rare for them to ask for things they wanted.

"'tena?" Valerie asks and waves at the wolf behind Stephen. "'Tena, here!"

Athena comes through the portal and Stephen rolls his eyes as he waves his hand to get her service vest on. It would at least lessen the looks, which only left the 'is that a wolf' whispers. Yes. Yes she is.

"If you weren't so shy of strangers, I'd say you would grow up to be a politician or a world leader."

"Nah, Val?" Thomas cackles. "She's too nice."

"Also a good point. Push the cart please?"

Thomas nods and puts Diana down so he can grab a cart and they walk through the aisles of Target. Diana was happy to 'ooh' and 'aah' at every piece of clothing she saw and Valerie soon ended up in the seat of the cart when Stephen's hands began to tremble a little too much. He then had to attempt to redirect Diana's attention away from the clothes because he was pretty sure she had twenty versions of the sundress she was looking at. Cassie was the one that took her shopping for clothes anyway. It was their thing.

"Aww…" Diana pouts but goes without a fuss to the bedding aisle.

"Why don't you help me pick out some sheets for your sister?"

"There's one with stars on it." Thomas points out and grabs the set to hand to the seven year old.

Diana rolls the set around in her hands with a scrutinizing gaze and then shakes her head. "No. She needs animals."

She looks up at the selection of bedding and finally points up at a set with little brown rabbits. Thomas grabs it for her and after she scrutinizes it like the one before, she smiles and nods and holds it up for Valerie to see.

"Do you like it Valerie?" She asks and the two year old grabs it and scrunches her brows at it before smiling.

"Bunny!"

Stephen chuckles. "I'll take that as a yes." His phone then rings and he takes it out of his pocket to answer it. "Yes love?"

"Heyyyyy Honey…" Tony starts and the sorcerer instantly narrows his brows in suspicion even though his husband can't see.

"What did you do Tony?"

"What? Nothing! Everything's fine! FRIDAY just told me you were at the store and thought I'd tell you that we're low on diaper wipes." Tony answers casually.

"Lucy is covered in grease again isn't she?" Stephen asks flatly.

"It suits her."

"She is two weeks old! Give her a bath. A proper one."

"Yes Duchess." The mechanic chuckles. "We do need more wipes though."

"Noted."

Stephen hangs up and rolls his eyes as he directs the kids to the baby section. Wordlessly, he grabs at least three packs of wipes before grabbing a fourth just in case. Tony had a habit of wiping down Lucy with diaper wipes whenever she was down in the lab with him and she got dirty, but Stephen didn't even know how he managed that. Her motor skills were still nearly non-existent and he wondered if maybe his husband used her as a rag.

He wouldn't put it past Tony. He got tunnel vision whenever he got invested in a project. Stephen couldn't complain though. Lucy loved being in the lab with her father and Tibbs, and whoever else happened to be in there with them. Granted, she slept through most of the chaos, and when she didn't, she was very helpful to Tony.

Baby noises were apparently helpful.

"We better hurry and finish up so we can go save your sister." Stephen says.

"It might be too late." Thomas jokes.

They finish their shopping and Stephen opens a portal back to the penthouse where they find Tony giving Lucy her bath. Before Stephen can even open his mouth, he sees the baby tub in the sink and makes a strangled noise when he finds the water in it nearly pitch black.

"I'm afraid to ask...but what happened?" He asks through clenched teeth.

Tony looks up and actually looks a little sheepish. "Domino effect I think? Something backfired, Tibbs was startled...and I think he knocked over a box of dust."

"I wouldn't be surprised. You barely clean the lab." Stephen sighs. "I hope you found a baby underneath all that filth."

"I did. She's very cute too. Can we keep her?" Tony holds up their naked baby daughter and grins.

Stephen can't help but chuckle.

"You get to change the diapers."

"Always stuck with the dirty work." Tony grumbles.

[duhragonball]

Bulma

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Somewhere around 1998, Kurt Busiek took over as the writer for the Iron Man comic.   This was back when Iron Man wasn’t particularly popular and the last two attempts to reboot the guy had failed.   I read an interview in Wizard Magazine where Kurt promoted his upcoming run, and he explained the character this way: Tony Stark is a superhero, an inventor, a ladies’ man, and a billionaire.    You could have a blast writing a comic book about any one of those four things, but he’s all four.    I may have gotten those four items wrong, partly because it’s been 22 years, and partly because it was more famous when Robert Downey Junior echoed that pitch in 2012.    Take away the armor, and what is he?   A billionaire genius philanthropist.   

My point is that this is the appeal to Bulma as well.    When we first meet her, she’s an adventurer, but then we find out she invented the device that lets her locate the Dragon Balls.  And her mission is a romantic quest, so she’s like the heroine in a romance story.    Then we meet her parents, and it turns out she’s a wealthy heiress.    Well, I’m assuming Dr. Brief doesn’t plan on leaving his fortune to all of his pets, but you get the idea.  

There’s a lot of versatility to the character.   Some arcs barely make use of her, but others take full advantage.    You can plop her in almost any scenario and it works.    You want to write her at a fancy charity dinner?   She’d fit right in.   You want her teaching shop class in your high school AU?   No problem at all.   You want her to seduce a bad guy?     You want her to shoot a bad guy?    You want her to be the bad guy?   It all works.  

The main thing people dislike about Bulma is the way she treated Yamcha when they were together, and she’s kind of a jerk a lot of the time.    Fair point, but I think this adds to the character.   If she were sweet as could be and a rich, attractive polymath, she’d be downright insufferable.    Also, her attitude plays off of the compassion she shows through the series.   I can’t explain her behavior around Yamcha, but she did offer free room and board to the entire population of Namek, so I feel like that needs to be taken into consideration.

Why I don’t: In the first... hundred or so episodes of DBZ, Bulma doesn’t get a lot of chances to shine, despite all the screentime they gave her.   Early into my DBZ-watching experience, I found her to be something like a shriller version of TMNT’s April O’Neil, a sidekick whose job was to look cute and get into danger so the good guys could save her.   She really doesn’t get back into her groove until she returns to Earth, and once I saw those episodes, and her time in the original Dragon Ball, the character began to make a lot more sense.   Really, the Bulma in DBZ #1 through 108 was probably intended to demonstrate how out-of-hand the situation was.   She fixed the scouter and then it exploded.   She fixed Nappa’s spaceship and it exploded.   She fixed Kami’s spaceship and then Namek exploded.    She just couldn’t keep up with the crisis. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Not exactly any one episode, but one of my favorite bits in the Red Ribbon Army Sagas is that the RRA has their own Dragon Radar, but it’s not portable, or anywhere near as precise as the one Bulma invented.    It’s Goku’s biggest advantage during that conflict, and when it breaks, there’s literally no one else who can fix it.    Those magic babies from Arale could make a new one, but I’m pretty sure they only did that by copying the design or something.   And the RRA assumes that Goku must have an entire team of scientists providing him with logistical support, and that Master Roshi must be their leader, since he’s so old.  

Also, near the end of the arc, Bulma needs to call Yamcha on the phone, but Roshi doesn’t have one, and then Turtle suggests that Bulma should just build one from scratch, since she had just finished building a robot drone a few episodes earlier.    And she’s like “Oh, yeah, I forgot I knew how to do that.”

Favorite season/movie: The Androids/Cell arc is a big deal because it has two Bulmas, and her son is in it too.   

And this is what I mean when I talk about versatility.    That Super Dragon Ball Heroes series has two Gokus and two Vegetas, and I have no idea why, because they’re exactly the same, except one pair does SSJ4 and the other does Super Saiyan Blue.   Bulma’s got more layers, so in a story like this, you can have 30-something Bulma care for an infant son and tackle logistical problems while she figures out her relationship with Vegeta, while the 50-something Bulma in the future can be this strong-yet-gentle post-apocalyptic survivalist, who hopes for a better tomorrow as she longs for her fallen friends.  

Favorite line: I’m gonna stray from the canon for a minute, because I’m having trouble coming up with something, but in DBZ Abridged, when she’s arguing with Vegeta during his training session, they just start shouting “Fuck you!” at each other.    Then she stops and says: “My room.    Ten minutes.” 

And holy shit, the delivery on that line was incredible. I knew they’d try to do something to set up their relationship, but there’s no footage to do that with, so they did it all with one line and some killer VA work.

Favorite outfit: This is a big, big wardrobe to choose from, but I’m partial to the one she wore in the Imperfect Cell Saga.

I can’t really explain the appeal, but I like this hairstyle and the clothing looks like authentic stuff you could actually buy at a store, which just makes it feel more real, even though it’s not any more detailed than her other outfits.    I’m not sure that makes any sense.    The trucker hat looks cute on her, let’s leave it there.

OTP: You know, there’s a lot of chemistry between Bulma and Yajirobe, and even though it’s kind of a rarepair, I can’t help but-- Okay, it’s her and Vegeta.   I’ll stop messing around.   

Brotp: Definitely her and Goku.  I’m imagining the set up to the DBS Broly movie going like this.

“Hey, I’m gonna invite Goku along on our trip.    That way you can fight him when you get bored.”

“Why do you keep asking him to tag along I can’t stand him.” 

“Yeah, but I like him and I paid for the resort, so I guess you gotta deal with it.” 

“...”  

Then he shows up and she sends him on some ridiculous mission to search the ocean floor for sunken treasure or something.   

Head Canon: Future Bulma does tech support in Toki Toki/Conton City, because Xenoverse is canon and the Goku Black Saga can just bugger right off because it never happened.   

She shows up from time to time to check on all the Capsule Corp tech in the city, and she drops by just to say hi to her boy, and also she has coffee with my Mary Sue OC, because Future Bulma appreciates how tough and cool my writing is.

Unpopular opinion: The Vegebul ship probably gets way too much attention.  Not that it’s a bad ship or that it doesn’t deserve the attention, but it feels like a buffet where all anyone gets is ranch dressing.    They just ignore the rest of the spread and fill an entire bowl with ranch and head back to the table to drink it.   Then they come right back and line up for another helping.  

I’m not knocking it.   I have a Vegebul calendar in my kitchen.   But it reminds me of how the “comics fandom” in the late 90′s was really just an X-Men fandom that acknowledged that other comic books hypothetically existed.

They’re gonna come after me now, aren’t they?

A wish: A lifetime supply of strawberries does sound kind of nice...

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I hope we’re done with Bulma’s Resurrection F outfit for good.   The cowboy boots, no, we’re done with that. 

5 words to best describe them: Five would never be enough.

My nickname for them: Don’t have one.   Vegeta calls her “woman”, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t go over well if I started doing that.

[helenared]

My firts history

This is my first fic from this couple Goku and Chichi and I hope you like it, it was inspired by a beautiful fanart of the wonderful Gokuist or Fungushi

And that story would not be published if it weren't for a great sonchichisquad friend! Thank you beautiful❤

Farewell

That’s why he didn't like saying goodbye. If there was ever a time when Son Goku didn't say goodbye to his loved ones, he had his reasons:

Firstly, he simply hated being the cause of the overflowing emotion in his family and friends’ eyes, and even in his own. That would mean admitting his weaknesses and his pride would never allow it. And secondly, If he didn't say goodbye to his family and friends, it was simply because somehow he felt he’d come back and see them again. 

There wasn’t really a particular moment of Goku saying goodbye to the people he loved -not emotionally, at least that we know of.

One example is when he left on Nimbus when he was a child -he left, just like that, to seek new adventures. A few years later, he left again -this time with Chi-Chi by his side to start their lives together. He also fled the hospital after his brutal battle against Vegeta to get to Namek and help Gohan and the rest. He didn’t say a proper goodbye to anyone, not even his own wife - it was more like a "See you soon!" Or "See you around!”, but never a final greeting. The same happened when he stayed in Yardrat, when he decided to stay in the afterlife after the battle against Cell and even when he left to train Uub.

It had always been like that. However, even if he had never been really attached to anyone, now, after having reached a certain level of maturity, Goku was trying to assimilate the fact that he had bid everyone his final farewell. 

It was harsh. He wasn’t allowed to speak to his children and friends. All he could do was watch them from above as they went on with their happy lives. But maybe it was for the best.

Gohan looked very focused as he wrote who knows what in a notebook. The last rays of sunlight were streaming through his large window as he sat peacefully inside his home office. The curtains swung as if the wind was blowing through them, but it was actually Goku. He was watching his son with a twinkle in his eye. Gohan was so smart and kind. He had always been proud of him.

Goku then saw Videl and Pan entering the room and interacting with his son. 

"Hey honey, why don't you take a break? You’ve been on that report for two hours" Videl said from behind her husband, placing her hands affectionately on his shoulders. 

"Yeah Dad, let's go have a picnic in the garden, it’s such a beautiful day outside!" Pan added excitedly, leaning over the desk, closer to her father.

Goku smiled as he watched them. The family he had built was close and loving, no matter how many obstacles they had to overcome. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Goodbye son"

Gohan would always be in good hands. And then, he disappeared.

"You’re right, it's time to relax with my two favorite people in the world and-" Gohan silenced himself as the feeling of something familiar rushed through him. He couldn’t explain what it was. It was like a warm comforting breeze that he only felt when "When my father was around ..." he completed his own thought out loud. 

His wife and daughter had no idea what he was talking about. He simply shook his head and followed the two of them so that they could spend time together as a family, unaware that he would never feel his father's energy again.

***

Goku laughed in amusement when he saw Goten and Trunks, such two great boys, training together in the garden of Capsule Corporation. Vegeta was watching them from a distance and next to him was Bulma sitting by a table with Bra.

For some reason unbeknownst to her, Bulma was holding the dragon's radar today, thinking back to the day when she met one of her best friends. She smiled wistfully. If it weren't for Goku, she probably wouldn't be where she was today.

"What the-" Vegeta whispered, suddenly uncrossing his arms, and at that very moment Goten received a mighty punch from Trunks. Goku's youngest son froze in his tracks, sitting down on the floor as if he hadn’t felt the punch at all. 

"I’ll always be thinking of you guys, especially you... my son" Goku smiled as he looked at them. Everyone there had touched his life in a monumental way.  If it weren't for Bulma, he wouldn't even know what a girl is, and she was the one who opened the initial gate into a world of discoveries.

Goten certainly made him a happier man than he already was. Becoming a father the second time was incredible, and felt just as amazing as the first time. His youngest was the living depiction of a sun rising after a storm, and he now knew that his children represented a more perfect version of him, a human version that embraced his sayajin side with tenderness.

The only thing that Vegeta had taught him was to discover and accept who he was. An alien, or to be more specific, a saiyan. It took Goku a long time to accept his roots, but seeing how much Vegeta had changed since he arrived on Earth, he could now recall the exact moment when he accepted "Kakarotto" into his life.

And with that last thought in his mind, he disappeared. And the grass started to sway from side to side, a light breeze making it dance. The people in the garden of Capsule Corporation's were left very surprised as a warm and soft sensation swam through them. 

After he recovered, Goten got up and stood into his fighting stance with a very familiar and challenging smile. "It won't be that easy to beat me, Trunks! Now hurry up! Come at me!"

Trunks smiled at his best friend. "Oh, that's what you think!" 

And both continued with their training.

Vegeta watched the boys with an arrogant smile on his lips, folding his arms across his chest again. Bulma was stunned and looked thoughtful, and her daughter didn’t understand what was going on.

***

Goku watched from the glass window into Krillin’s house. The bald man was going through a photo album with his daughter. She had grown up so much.

Eighteen was drinking a cup of coffee, sitting in the armchair next to her daughter and husband, watching them lovingly. 

"Yeah, Goku was different from any other person or being that I had ever come across in the universe. If Master Roshi were alive, he’d probably agree with me. He had a way of bringing us closer together. We went from enemies to friends and we are what we are today thanks to him. Together for life"

Goku felt really touched by this, smiling at them affectionately. Krillin had always been a very important person in his life. His first and closest friend. The most faithful of all.

"Krillin..."

And then he left.

Krillin had no idea what that emotion inside him was. Happiness? Nostalgia? Maybe. All he knew was that it wasn’t something he felt all the time. It was nice and warm. "Goku, you are my best friend"

***

Son Goku flew across the Earth, passing through all the places that were part of his journey.

Kami-Sama Dende, sharper than ever, felt his fleeting presence like a shooting star, along with Mr Popo, who placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Son Goku will always be remembered for his incredible life on Earth and his great deeds, isn't that right, Mr. Popo?" And his guardian and master simply nodded. When facts are spoken, there are no valid arguments.

Uub, who was meditating, felt Goku too, and he thanked his master mentally for everything he had taught him. 

Yamcha and Tenshinhan, who were on the fighters' planet, sensed Goku's presence and nodded to each other, and so did Chiaotzu and Puar.

Piccolo just looked up with his arms crossed and smiled. "Goku..."

The Sayajin warrior flew across the Earth, enjoying every field, every ocean, every light breeze caressing his face. He enjoyed this last lap to the fullest.

There was only one person missing, who was no longer on Earth… 

Yes, after all, he wasn’t able to find Chi-Chi. She was already gone. He felt terrible. His wife was part of him and he really wanted to see her just one more time. He didn’t know how to find her soul among many others in Paradise. It was just a light in its true form. It was too late. 

***

After reflecting on his thoughts and making one last memory on Earth, Goku felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned around. "Son Goku, are you ready?"

He sighed. He wasn't sure yet. He felt as if something was missing. He couldn’t leave permanently like any being in this universe yet. 

After completing his last training and duties in the dragon realm, which was creating the dragon balls again, he would have to leave. His time was up, it was running out and this time it was for good. Son Goku would rest in peace.

They were on Planet Kaioshin. The wind picked up and made the petals and flowers of the trees fall, as if it were autumn time.

"I don't know, Mr. Kaioshin..." Goku replied, lowering his eyes to nothing in particular on the planet's greenish floor.

"Now boy, you’ve already said goodbye to everyone before returning to the dragon kingdom that time, and this is the agreement: The dragon balls will return to Earth and you will leave. It is the law of the universe, child. You made that choice and now you will have to deal with the consequences” Old Kaioshin continued, along with Kibito and young Shin.

Goku frowned at that. Yes, he was perfectly aware of that. He felt it was time, and the Earth deserved the wonderful reign of the dragon balls again.

But he had to find her first, find some way to talk to her and say goodbye. Because this time he would leave forever. Chi-Chi deserved at least a goodbye, she really did this time, and he had something stuck in his throat, something he really needed to say to her.

Goku looked him in the eye. "But I didn't say goodbye to everyone. I missed someone, and you’ll have to help me with this" he said firmly, his hair waving in the wind caused by the beings with him.

"That someone has already died, I know. The dragon balls no longer have resuscitation powers, but there has to be another way... I can't leave without talking to her" there was despair in the saiyan’s eyes.

There was a maddening silence -as if everyone there was thinking of a solution for the warrior. After all, Goku deserved one last request, it was the least they could do after everything he’d done.

"I think I know hos..." Kaioshin replied. "Shenlong may no longer have the power to resurrect but he does have the power of time"

Shin and Kibito were confused by the old man's statement, but didn’t doubt his words. After all, he was still their most experienced and wisest deity.

"Power of time...?". Goku wondered for a few seconds.

Until realization dawned on him and his eyes widened, sparkling with joy.

"That's it! So I just need to go over there and-"

"But bear this in mind, Goku" Kaioshin interrupted him by raising a hand in front of him. "As soon as you’re done, your body will disappear and your soul will finally be at peace"

Goku nodded calmly. "Okay, well, I think it's goodbye this time, isn't it?"

The kaios in front of him bowed in gratitude, looking at him with admiration. "Goodbye Son Goku." said the youngest of them.

And then Goku teleported to Earth, after so long. At an impressive speed he brought the seven dragon balls together again. It was incredible that his life would end with them. He didn't need a radar to find them, he just knew where they were.

The dragon balls began to shine together.

"Show yourself, Shenlong, and grant my wish!"

The sky darkened, the golden light coming from of the spheres causing the Dragon to be reborn again. Goku couldn't help the nostalgic memories that were going through his mind while his eyes reflected Shenlong's light.

"State your wish and I will fulfill it according to my possibilities!"

"I wish to go back to Chi-Chi’s happiest time in her life... my wife."

The dragon stood still for a minute, making Goku tense up, his fists clenching.

"Your wish will be granted. You will have five minutes! Goodbye!" And so Shenlong's eyes shone red and a golden light surrounded Goku and took him from his current time.

After a trip through nothing but white and gold lights, he opened his eyes and sighed in surprise.

Goku was in an incredibly large garden, so beautiful that it looked like Paradise itself. He looked around and noticed several people in the place. They were laughing, talking, drinking and eating. He heard birds singing from several directions. It was a party, apparently.

Goku turned around and was faced with a lake and a nearby apple tree. He put his hand on the tree... this place looked familiar. He approached the water, which was shining like crystals, and the ground was covered by many flowers. Rose petals were falling as the breeze claimed them. Their smell was also familiar when he took one in his hand.

When he looked at his hand, he noticed that his outfit was actually different from the one he was wearing before. He kept looking at himself until an epiphany hit him: he was wearing a white tuxedo, with that itchy bow tie.

"So the happiest time in her life is-"

"Goku!"

Goku heard that young and smooth voice calling out to him, his eyes instantly looking in her direction. It was Chi-Chi, his wife. Of course, the happiest time in her life was their wedding. He smiled at that. He would’ve sworen it was when Gohan had graduated from college or anything related to his children.

How wrong he had been.

She was beautiful. Today, he had a better grasp at these things of course, but back then… ah, if only he had known. He would’ve been able to appreciate her beauty for much longer.

Her face, her flushed cheeks, her long lashes, her black and shiny eyes, her delicate pink lips and her ivory-white skin. Her strands of hair swayed gently in the wind.

"Goku?...". She softly called him again as she approached him. "What are you doing out here alone? I’ve been looking for you."

Goku blinked a few times, coming out of his daze. "Chi-Chi… H-hi.". The moment he saw her in front of him, he felt nervous, like a hesitant teenager.

Chi-Chi smiled at him humorously and gave a light laugh. It was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

"Okay, come with me, there’s a table full of sweets especially set up for my husband. I’m sure you don’t wanna miss it" Chi-Chi wrapped her arms around him, starting to lead him, but Goku stopped.

"No, wait a minute" he stopped her, taking her hand and coming closer to her. "I need to tell you something. It 's important."

Goku stared at her with such depth in his eyes, she couldn’t decipher it. "Goku ... are you okay?". She asked worriedly when she noticed that he looked a little serious and tense, placing a hand on his cheek lovingly.

He stood still, enjoying the warm touch of her hand under the glove of her wedding dress. He closed his eyes and smiled softly, caressing her hand on his face. Oh, how he’d missed this -he hadn’t known just how much until now. It’d been so long for him.

Surrounding her with his arms, Goku took a deep breath and swept away any hesitation, bringing back his confidence when he smiled at her and looked into her eyes lovingly, "Come here". And he brought her close to him. Of course that would startle her a little. After all, at the time a simple touch was enough to make him panic, but he was running out of time. "Chi-Chi, I just wanted to let you know that today was... I mean-". He corrected himself. "It is a very important day for me... and no matter what happens from now on, I’ll always be thinking about you"

He felt her still in his arms. That was not the reaction he was aiming for, but he hated this kind of goodbyes the most in the entire universe. However, it was too late and he had to continue.

The orange flower petals from Chi-Chi's bouquet whirled in the breeze behind Goku's neck, enveloping them both, as if nature wanted to keep that moment only for them. 

Chi-Chi wasn’t following Goku at all.Of course they’d been harboring a very strong admiration for each other during the months before the wedding, and she hoped that could develop into something stronger after the wedding when they’d have to live together.

But this… it was beyond her wildest dreams, it felt like an illusion. He was looking at her and talking to her as if he’d known her for an entire lifetime. 

There had to be something wrong with him, it could only be that. There was no other explanation. 

What did that mean? Is he leaving? Is he going to die? Is he going to give up on her?

Those thoughts were running through her mind now, haunting her.

"Goku... I don't understand. Why are you talking like that? You're scaring me..."

Her eyes began to waver as she looked into his, her voice was low and soft, as if she were about to cry. She was afraid, not of him, but of what his actions and words could mean.

It was a mystery how she would manage to read him so well since that day, since the beginning of their lives together.

Goku rested his forehead on hers with his eyes closed, and brushed his nose against hers, as if wanting to capture the aroma of flowers flowing from his wife.

"Don’t worry” he whispered when he opened his eyes to look at her. "It's okay, trust me."

Chi-Chi looked stunned and frightened at the same time, if that was even possible, and started to doubt him again. "No, it's not okay and if there's something wrong I can-"

The touch of his lips on hers silenced her instantly. She relaxed, closed her eyes and enjoyed that moment. Her body went limp against him completely. Even if he’d been desperate to do that, it was also the only way he could think of to show her that everything was fine.

The kiss was delicate, soft and warm. No lust or despair there, just the purest possible and most loving of feelings.

When Goku leaned back a little, he gave his wife in his arms a small smile. They could feel each other's warm breaths fanning their faces.

"I just wanted to say... that I love you. I will always love you, forever, no matter what. You have changed my life in a way that I can’t even fathom right now. Just believe me" He whispered.

Chi-Chi was red-faced, surprised, stunned, scared, in love ...

All at once, and she couldn’t take it.

Soon, tears were streaming from her eyes, but she smiled at him when she felt her feet back on the floor as he released her, his arms still around her and hers still around his neck.

She really loved those words, so sweet and unusual, certainly unusual, but they flew out of Goku’s mouth so abruptly that it was astonishing to her. He seemed different from her usual Goku, and that worried her. 

But why destroy this exciting mood with questions? That statement could be a good thing, so why doubt your husband? She will never doubt the words coming from someone she loves so much, and even more now.

She laughed weakly at her husband, "Son Goku, what happened to you...", she swallowed, teary eyes looking at him when he gave a weak laugh. "I love you too, silly, and I will never give up on how I feel about you."

Goku knew this very well, and she never gave up on their relationship, no matter the flaws they had and the obstacles they had to endure. Somehow, their love for each other was always stronger than anything that could arise.

And he wanted her to know that he loved her and still loves her in a way that he could’ve never imagined and that... man, and what a spectacular life they built together. Their children, their granddaughter and their friends. All of it, he wanted her to know all of it, he wanted her to know how grateful he is grateful for all that love.

And that he will love her for eternity.

Now Son Goku can rest in peace.

Chi-Chi hugged him tightly with her arms around his neck. She understood. She simply did.

He buried his head in the back of her neck and hugged her tightly too, absorbing every bit of he could from her essence.

Chi-Chi moved back and they stared into each other’s eyes. 

"Hey Chi-Chi! Look at the amazing shoes I got you as your wedding gift!" a family friend called out, interrupting the connection the couple had established with their eyes. 

“Are you coming?” Chi-Chi asked, looking at him while wiping her tears. 

Goku smiled and nodded. "Go ahead, I'll be right there."

And so his wife shook her head and slowly moved away from him. When there was enough distance, he felt his body crumble, becoming transparent until nothing was left.

He noticed that a little over five minutes had passed... 

"Thank you dragon balls". And those were the last words of one of the greatest warriors the world has ever known. Turning into nothing more and nothing less than bright points of light spreading like fireflies between the petals of flowers in the air, dancing in the autumn breeze.

Rest in peace, Son Goku!

The bravest and kindest fighter who ever lived. 

The End

[mikeandjones]

What is Ritalin For and How to Use

Ritalin or Ritalin is a medicine that has its active ingredient Methylphenidate Hydrochloride, a central nervous system stimulant, indicated for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, also called ADHD, purple haze strain, and narcolepsy. 

This medicine is a type of amphetamine that works by stimulating mental activities, so it has become popular among adults who want to study or stay awake for longer. However, this use is not recommended, and these effects are not proven.

In addition to this, methylphenidate can have various dangerous side effects for those who use it without indication, such as nervousness, increased blood pressure, palpitations, buying moon rocks, weed, muscle spasms, hallucinations or chemical dependence. Those can only purchase Ritalin at prescription pharmacies.

What is it for?

Ritalin has methylphenidate, which is a psychostimulant. This medication stimulates concentration and reduces drowsiness, which is indicated in the treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children and adults.

It can also be indicated to treat narcolepsy, a disorder characterized by the manifestation of daytime sleepiness symptoms, inappropriate sleep episodes and sudden loss of voluntary muscle tone. 

Is Ritalin Good for Memory and Studies?

Ritalin is popular among students who call this medicine 'the intelligence pill' because it helps with memory and concentration, moon rocks, and helps during the study period. However, the efficacy of this medicine in healthy people has never been proven.

In this way, the person can even spend the night awake studying, but the attention will not necessarily improve, silver haze weed, purple haze weed strain, and he may not remember the content the next day.

Therefore, Ritalin should not improve memory and concentration; it is used only to treat diseases such as narcolepsy, attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity, as indicated in its leaflet. If you are a student and need a remedy to stay more awake, you need to increase your retention and concentration.

How to Take Ritalin

1. Attention deficit and hyperactivity

The dosage should be indicated according to each person's individual needs and clinical response, also varying according to age. So the recommended dose of Ritalin are the following:

Children aged six years or older:  should be started with 5 mg, 1 or 2 times a day, increasing the dose weekly from 5 to 10 mg. The total daily amount ought to be administered in divided doses.

The dosage of Ritalin LA, which are the modified-release capsules, is as follows: 

Children aged six years or older:  can be started with 10 or 20 mg, according to medical criteria, once a day in the morning. 

Adults:  For people who still do not have a treatment with methylphenidate, the recommended starting dose of Ritalin LA is 20 mg once daily. For people who already have treatment with methylphenidate, this can continue therapy with the same daily dose. In adults, what should not exceed the maximum daily dose of 80 mg, and in children, our should not exceed Ritalin and Ritalin LA, the amount of 60 mg. 

2. Narcolepsy

Ritalin is only approved for the treatment of narcolepsy in adults. The daily dose is 20 to 30 mg, administered in 2 to 3 divided doses. 

Some people may need a dose greater than 40 to 60 mg, while for another 10 to 15 mg daily, it is sufficient; the attending physician will determine this. People who have difficulty sleeping should not administer the medication at night; the last dose should be before 18 hours. 

 There are essential not to exceed the maximum daily dose of this medicine, which is 60 mg.

Side Effects 

The most common side effects that can be caused by treatment with Ritalin include nasopharyngitis, decreased appetite, abdominal discomfort, nausea, heartburn, nervousness, insomnia, fainting, headache, drowsiness, dizziness, changes in a heartbeat. Heart, fever, allergic reactions and decreased appetite can result in weight loss or stunted growth in children.

Also, because it is an amphetamine, methylphenidate can cause dependence if misused.

The Ritalin is contraindicated in people with hypersensitivity to methylphenidate or any excipient, people suffering from anxiety, silver haze strain, agitation, hyperthyroidism, pre-existing cardiovascular disorders. Severe hypertension, angina, occlusive arterial disease, heart failure, hemodynamically significant congenital heart disease. Cardiomyopathies, myocardial infarction, life-threatening arrhythmias and conditions caused by ionic channel dysfunction.

People with glaucoma, pheochromocytoma; diagnosis or family history of Tourette syndrome; pregnant or breastfeeding.

Seven Things You Didn't Know About The Drug Molly.

Today we want to tell you about the new fashion drug, increasingly popular and wreaking havoc among young people. This is the drug Molly, and in this article, we will see its main characteristics; we will know its effects and potential dangers. Let's start the tour.

1. What is Molly

Molly is not a new drug but a "pure" form of ecstasy. Its main effect is to produce euphoria since it is a stimulant of the nervous system and its use usually occurs in nightclubs and electronic parties.

2. How Molly is Consumed

Molly is consumed orally through pills or capsules, although it has also been seen in lick papers (such as LSD ) or injectable versions. The effect of a dose of Molly on the brain lasts a couple of hours, after which comes a period of unpleasant side effects.

3. What are Molly's Effects on Consumers

Those who use Molly are exposed to various harmful effects, some momentary and some permanent. Among them are a dangerous increase in body temperature, depression, increased heart rate, irrational behavior and possible psychotic behaviors.

4. Molly's Composition

In its pure form, Molly is composed of the so-called methylenedioxymethamphetamine. Most Molly doses are adulterated with other much more toxic substances such as caffeine, cocaine, amphetamines and PCP (phencyclidine).

5. How Molly Acts on The Brain

The action Molly on the brain starts half an hour of consumption. Its primary form of action is several neurotransmitters, causing a release of those who cause pleasure and euphoria as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine.

6. Who Consumes Molly

Molly's primary consumers are teenagers and young people between 12 and 24 years old, who are just getting started in the world of drugs and use it during parties and concerts, thanks to their feeling of euphoria and disinhibition. Many times it is ingested in combination with energy drinks.

7. Immediate Dangers of Consuming Molly

Many consume Molly as they consider it a safe drug because of its purity, but most doses are mixed with other, even more, dangerous chemicals. When their effects disappear, young people can suffer from seizures, rapid body temperature changes, and even be in a coma. The brain damage may be irreversible.

Did you know this data about Molly? Drugs are dangerous and, as much as some, such as marijuana, have health benefits, most of them are addictive and even fatal.  

Xanax is The Generic Name For Alprazolam.

It is a sedative for the Central Nervous System (CNS) that falls into medications known as benzodiazepines.

This class includes tranquilizers like lorazepam, Valium, and Libritabs. Xanax is prescribed by licensed doctors and is classified as a controlled category IV substance. Manufacturers recommend Xanax for the treatment of tension, nervousness, and panic attacks.

Benzodiazepines are under public investigation mainly for their highly addictive properties. When these drugs were initially developed (Xanax was patented in 1969), pharmaceutical manufacturers declared that they were not habit-forming or not addictive. Still, experience has shown that these are some of the most addictive drugs on the market. 

On The Street, Xanax is Known by The Following Names:

* Bars,

* Stairs, and

* Yellow Trucks

An estimated 3 million people have been taking benzodiazepines daily for more than a year, indicating that patients should be more aware and be more careful not to follow doctors' suggestions blindly when they are recommended and prescribed. Psychoactive medications This statistic also demonstrates, as doctors ignore recommended prescribed information on drugs such as Xanax since the Federal Secretariat of Medicines recommends that Xanax be prescribed for periods of less than eight weeks for the treatment of panic attacks and anxiety.

As with many psychiatric medications (drugs), the original defense and presentation to establish its effectiveness was made by the pharmaceutical company Upjohn (now part of the Pfizer company) and was based on reports from third parties compiled by psychiatrist David Sheehan. He said that Xanax helped his patients suffering from panic attacks, even though previous research had established that benzodiazepines had little or no effect on panic disorders. Pharmacy Upjohn paid Dr. Sheehan for her "investigation" to convince the government to give Xanax approval. The Xanax, and to a lesser extent the Valium, not only causes a feeling of relaxation but initially causes a sense of euphoria and enthusiasm, or a period of much activity followed by an artificial feeling of peace. Many people have reported that after taking Xanax for one to two weeks, they began to manifest physical withdrawal symptoms, mainly headaches that only took off by taking more medication.

This potential addiction is stronger with Xanax Than than any other benzodiazepine. However, the DEA (Agency of the United States Department of Justice that requires compliance with drug and drug regulations) under the Controlled Substances Act classifies drugs according to their potential medical benefit about their potential for abuse. Addiction on a Class I scale, considered highly addictive as heroin, up to Class V. Xanax and the other benzodiazepines are classified as Class IV, which are drugs that have a low potential for abuse, have medical therapeutic acceptance. 

They have a limited risk of physical or psychological dependence. Addiction professionals report that benzodiazepines are so addictive, both physically and psychologically, as opioid-derived painkillers (opiates) and other Class II narcotics. In some ways, Xanax is more problematic than opium-derived pain relievers in which suddenly stopping it can cause seizures, requiring medical help for withdrawal. In contrast, opioid withdrawal is painful but not medically dangerous.

The Xanax is so quickly prescribed to relieve joint stress and lack of sleep. There have been many older patients who have become addicted to their medicine "for nerves" inadvertently. When they try to leave, they discover that their original complaints are now more significant.

Everyone should read and understand the side effects of any psychoactive medication before accepting a prescription to ensure that the result of the treatment implementation is not going to be worse than the initial discomfort.

The Following are Documented Side Effects of Xanax:

* Eruptions

* Respiratory problems

* Swelling of the lips, face, tongue, and throat

* Drowsiness

* Decreased inhibition (lack of fear when faced with dangerous activities)

* Hallucinations, emotional disturbances, purple haze strain, and hostility

* Hyperactivity

* Dizziness, swirling, and fainting

* Less urine than usual, or no urine

* Headaches, fatigue, joint pain, and unusual weakness (flu-like symptoms)

* Problems with speech

* Total loss of memory (amnesia) and concentration problems

* Changes in appetite (including weight gain)

* Blurred vision, instability, and clumsiness (decreased coordination and balance)

* Decreased sexual desire

* Dry mouth, or increase in saliva production

* Nervousness, restlessness, lack of sleep, and sweating

* Strong or rapid palpitations (panic attacks)

* Skin inflammation

* Muscle jump, tremor, and seizures (convulsions)

The list of side effects should stop anyone to risk thinking that Xanax could be beneficial. However, people who are addicted to benzodiazepines or who are withdrawing from other medications will take that risk to relieve themselves sooner, only to realize that they have now increased their addiction problems.

When the 1st winds of legalization began to blow, there must have been a lot of publicity about the impact of state-run legal cannabis. Effective concerns such as the social and cultural impact of legal plants, their effects on the legal system, and the economy were expressed and taken into account when drafting specific bills. At the root of these concerns was, of course, child protection. As the children#39;s toy/candy market develops rapidly to meet the demands of competition, there are a

variety of devices and packaging systems designed to appeal to both children and parents. We've all been in situations where a child gets a packaged gift, just to ignore the actual gift in favor of that box coming. With this in mind, it is up to the cannabis industry professionals to create effective child-proof packaging regardless of the contents of the package.

[sanjuno]

Could you please list out the various au!ideas you have at some point? I really want to find a certain one every now and then but then have trouble remembering what you called it

You asked for this…

An incomplete AU Master List for Sanjuno’s Ficwork:

1.    ATTACK ON TITAN

1.1.  Coordinates T by H: Eren’s coordinatorabilities allow him to metaphysically bond with other humans, thereby givingeveryone in the group the ability to psychically communicate with the rest andalso boosting everyone’s healing ability exponentially to be on par with theTitan Shifters. Chaptered, WIP

2.    BLEACH

2.1. What Happens on Vacation: Crossoverwith YYH – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical(which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and shewas late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigoand Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introducehis new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperworkhe needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. WIP

3.    CODEGEASS

3.1.  A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover withGOT – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers arereincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission todrive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to thepoint that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CCshows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s ontosomething with the “drinking to forget” idea. Meta

3.2.  Abandon Thyself: Post-Zero RequiemSuzaku travels back in time to the scene in the Shinjuku Ghettos when the truckexplodes. Given that the people closest to him haven’t actually spoken to Suzakuin years, the origins of Suzaku’s obvious mental instability is hilariouslymisattributed by various outside PoVs. So when Suzaku hits his knees in frontof Lelouch, swearing eternal devotion and vowing to make Lelouch the next emperornobody panics. (They should really reconsider panicking.) Drabbles, WIP

3.3.  The Sun Also Rises: At the moment ofhis death in the Zero Requiem, Lelouch travels back in time to his childhoodbody. With only a week to go before Marianne is “assassinated by terrorists”Lelouch sets out to rearrange the board in a way none of the other players willsee coming until it’s far too late. Lelouch has been given a second chance tomake things right, and Lelouch wouldn’t be Lelouch if he didn’t plan big. Thistime around, Lelouch plans for his victory to be a bit more obvious. Chaptered, WIP

4.    DCU

4.1.  Time Enough: Terry McGinnis, his littlebrother Matt, and their dogs are the only members of their timeline to survivebecause Bruce Wayne was too old to see any more of his sons die in front of him.So they all got knocked out, shoved into an escape capsule, and ejected fromthe Batman Beyond timeline before it crumbles. Said time pod crashes into themiddle of a Red Hood versus Match throw down, and Terry’s Wayne-inheritedcharisma is so powerful it allows him to banter his way into good graces ofboth villains. Jason drags them all off to his lair because every single memberof the Batfam hoards orphans. Chaptered, WIP

5.    DRAGON BALL

5.1.  Saiyajin Pride: Alien biology has alarger impact on characterization that it does in canon. Mirai comes back to themain timeline live in sin with Videl and Gohan. Vegeta and Goku deal with someshit that comes from being the last full-blooded members of their species. Thenjust as things are settling down… Garlic is an idiot who thinks up a loopholein the “can’t wish people dead” rule and wishes Goku and Vegeta’s familiesstraight out of existence and they end up in an entirely different reality. Theonly upside is that Vegeta finally gets to kill Frieza. Chaptered, WIP

6.    FAIRY TAIL

6.1.  Flight Of Dragons: Future!Lucy missesher target and ends up landing further back in time, during the same year Natsuand the rest of the Dragon Slayer kids were brought to when they were pulledforward in time.  Fairy Tail luckkicks in, and future!Lucy runs into child!Laxus as he escapes from his fatherafter being fed the Lightning Dragon Lacrima. Laxus is handed a Prophecy andruns with it. Children have never needed Fairy Tales to tell them that Dragonsexist, but they certainly help. Chaptered,WIP

6.2.  My Heart Overflows: Juvia and Grey havefinally started dating, but the Fairy Tail Mage Guild has some interestingtraditions when it comes to proving the validity of a romantic relationship. Oneshot - Complete

7.    FAMILIAR OF ZERO

7.1.  A Velvet Glove: Crossover with TMNT –Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers aredead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magicand spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not preparedfor a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta isprobably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’snot like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquistagets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancéemore. Chaptered, WIP

8.    FINAL FANTASY VII

8.1.  A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover withGOT – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated asthe spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryenused to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta

8.2.  A Feather’s Weight: Crossover withNaruto – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, arereincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’splans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smallermargin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was atrap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt,and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. WIP

8.3.  Antiviral: Woden and Gaia conspire tocreate antibodies to fight off Jenova’s infection. Cid and Vincent end upbearing the brunt of this decision, get roofied by Divine Intervention, andalso end up the Gaian equivalent of demonic werewolves. Also the Planet istransforming all the SOLDIERS into werewolves too, yes, even the dead ones. Chaptered, WIP

8.4.  For Love Of: Cid Highwind crashes theTiny Bronco into Lucrecia’s cave, does the metaphysical equivalent of tearingher heart out and eating it to absorb her power, and them proceeds to adoptGeneral Sephiroth as his son because it’s not like anyone can stop him. CidHighwind does what he wants. Sephiroth does what Mother wants. SHIN-RA soonregrets everything because Cid Highwind is a hell of a lot better at rewritingthe social order than Avalanche is. Chaptered,WIP

8.5.  Hindsight is 20-20: CHAOS decides torewrite time because they have a massive crush on Cid and they don’t want himto die. CHAOS fumbles the landing and Cid ends up in the body of some weirdLucrecia/Ancient-Cetra-Who-Was-Jenova’s-Host Clone and ends up giving birth toSephiroth. Things only get worse from there. Chaptered, WIP

8.6.  Like it Rough: Cid likes Vincent a lotand also has a bit of a kink for scars. Cid walks in on Vincent naked, runsaway to hide his raging boner, and Vincent ends up chasing Cid around theairship until he can pin his friend down in the Captain’s bunk because thedemons are all drunk on the pheromones. Oneshot- Complete

8.7.  Names of Power: Jenova’s taintgetting mixed into the Lifestream has far-reaching consequences, and Avalanchegets tapped to handle the fallout whither they like it or not. WIP

8.7.1.    SmallPackages: The Lifestream meddles in Avalanches lives even after the Planethas been saved. There are clones and ancient powers better off left alone butit’s not like Avalanche ever gets a say in the matter.

8.7.2.    HistoryInverted: Jenova isn’t all the way gone and the Planet really doesn’t careif Humanity survives or not as long as the infection is burned away. Aerithshoves the spirits of Avalanche and their children into a new timeline becauseshe doesn’t want to watch their souls get shredded. Avalanche proceeds to moseyalong and wreak havoc in the way only they can manage.

8.8.  To Earn the Sky: Echidna, Mother ofMonsters and Heroes, and Jenova, the Calamity From the Skies, are at war. Hojomakes a very big mistake when he uses the Blood of Echidna’s Children in hisRevenant Project. Cid Highwind is a good son, and his Mother wants to meet hernew Grandchildren.

9.    FINAL FANTASY XV

9.1.  A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive andCrownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but CorLeonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fearin Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be avery different Northern Kingdom that he finds there.

10. GAME OF THRONES

10.1.              CrossoverFixits to Help Westeros be Less Miserably Doomed: Various casts fromother series end up reborn in Westeros and use knowledge from their previouslives to change the Game. Meta

10.1.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire:Crossover with MCU – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as NedStark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect,knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternaterealities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnationand adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who goto the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar getshis Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life.

10.1.2. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith SW – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken inAnakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to followthe Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the LongNight.

10.1.3. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover withCG – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers arereincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission todrive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to thepoint that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CCshows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s ontosomething with the “drinking to forget” thing.

10.1.4. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVII – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated asthe spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryenused to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently.

10.1.5. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith KHR – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them arereincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldesttrueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look atthe Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna isbusy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazingbetrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make thebetter Heir.”

10.1.6. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive andCrownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, butCor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something tofear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it willbe a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there.

10.1.7. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith Naruto WCE – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated asStarks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolvingtheir many and varied issues with one another.

10.1.8. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith TFG1 – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening endup reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience ofthe animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events.

10.2.             SingingIn A Different Key: SI is reborn as Jon Snow, who then precedes toMachiavelli the fuck out of the North in preparation for the coming Long Nightand also to screw over the Lannisters. Because fuck the Lannisters. WIP

10.3.              Wolf AtThe Door: When Ice takes the head of Eddard Stark, Valeryian magic mixeswith the Blood of the First Men. It’s wild, uncontrolled, and Ned ends up as afour year old in Winterfell’s Godswood, staring at his reflection in the water.Eddara Stark, second-born child and first-born daughter of Rikard and LyarraStark looks back up at him. Ned, fully believing that this is his punishmentfor failing his family and best friend the first time around, decides to fixthe Realm by fulfilling the Pact of Fire and Ice. The thing about being a womanis that no one ever expects you to be a threat, not even other women. The thingabout being the Quiet Wolf is that everyone overlooks you until the moment yourteeth sink into their throat. Meta inDevelopment

11. GetBackers

12. GIRL GENIUS

12.1.              The OtherSide of the River: One of the Jagermonsters manages to catch wind ofLucrecia’s plans and absconds with Klaus Barry during the confusion caused by thefirst explosion. This understandably causes some disruption in everyones planswhen KB and his nanny run into Agatha during her time with the Circus. WIP

12.2.              ThreefoldPath: Agatha, Gil, and Tarvek get their brains booted back in time duringthe si vales valeo and decided to run away and join the circus until they’reold enough to take over the world properly. WIP

13. GundamWing

14. HARRY POTTER

14.1.              Black AsHis Name: Sirius Back lives! Because the Veil dumps his mind-and-soul intothe empty body of his younger self in a world where Walburga Black lost it onher eldest son much earlier in life and Sirius was tortured until he was leftbrain-dead. Arcturus Black is pissed off over the treatment of one of his Heirsand since Sirius’ magic is still intact, names Sirius the Heir to House Blackand proceeds to hold the Heirship over everybody’s heads for spite for as longas Sirius continues to “live”. Everyone in the Black Family is very surprisedwhen the annual shaming ritual disguised as Sirius’ birthday party is crashed. Bynone other than the birthday boy himself. Sirius rolls with it and becomes aTrue Black in the most Marauder manner possible. WIP

14.2.              BlackHunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with KHR – Regulus and Sirius both endup dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on the Master’s behalf.Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus isactually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much.WIP

15. HOMESTUCK

15.1.              A Jump ToThe Left Behind: Post game reality has all the races living in a GalacticRepublic, and the Troll Ancestors and Human Guardians all need to team up inorder to solve the mystery of the planetoid-sized meteor that just barreledinto the middle of their busiest spacelane because their names are written allover it. In the process of exploring the meteor they accidently wake up thePlayers and Sprites. Chaos ensues. Meta

15.2.              Pandora’sFinal Gift: A mermaid AU where a Deep Old One gives Eridan (and onlyEridan) the memories of his Game Player Self as a lark. Eridan hits the levelcap for his current reality, freaks out, saves Sollux’s life, and then abscondsas far away from the center of the Empire as he can get. Meta

16. InuYasha

17. KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN

17.1.              A DyingWill of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and allthose bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus isborn as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all ittakes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on theother side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between recitingodes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told youXanxus would make the better Heir.”

17.2.              BlackHunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with HP – Regulus and Sirius both end updumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on the Master’s behalf. Thingsstart to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actuallySkull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP

17.3.              BurningSalt Water: Crossover with OP – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jacksonduring the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways andhe ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the executionXanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace setsthe Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP

17.4.              Cat’sPaws: Uri has seen enough Time Travel bullshit to know how it works, and sowhen Hayato gets himself killed she grabs his soul and flings herself backwardsin time because fuck the timeline this is her human and he’s not allowed toabandon her again. The other Box Animals think it’s a great idea and do thesame with their humans, and this results in the kind of alternate timeline thatgives Byakuran a headache. In other words, Uri creates a timeline where FlameActives are a lot more Alien than they used to be and now everyone thinksYoukai and other myths are real. Chapters,WIP

17.5.              FireShall Waken: All of Nono’s sons are still alive when the Cradle Affair happensand it results in the entire 10th Generation gathering up theirHarmonies, rolling Xanxus into a blanket burrito, and taking off to Japan underassumed names where they proceed to spend the next eight years coddling Tsunaand being spoiled rotten by Nana in return. Meta

17.6.              GremlinsDella Varia: Mammon’s experiments with the Curse have had some odd sideeffects on the Varia. It all comes out during the Ring Battles and the otherArcobaleno are Judging You, Viper. Drabbles

17.7.              Karma,and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with Naruto. Legendary Ninjafrom the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt allthe Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer.

17.7.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito areninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and someminor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be inClans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long beforethe child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obitorepents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life.Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Chaptered WIP

17.7.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothersare reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno cursebeing put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start huntingfor the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimoriduring Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take wellto this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madarahunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly.Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshots, WIP

17.7.2.1.     KarmicJustice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigatingthe Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target forchild stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madaraand Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. WIP

17.7.2.2.     KarmicJustice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting inItaly for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madarainstantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, andTsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches100-year-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP

17.8.              Music ofthe Spheres: Crossover with SM – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola InheritanceTsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’senemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody byher Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it.Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidentlythrow Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. WIP

17.9.              Overlookingthe Obvious: They say that to truly know someone you need to walk a mile intheir shoes. The adage is proven true rather dramatically when amisappropriated Possession Bullet ends up switching Gokudera and Hibari intoeach other’s bodies. Oneshot

17.10.          Reach ForThe Sky: Kamen Rider Sora and his team are the protectors of Namimoriagainst the invasion of Youma from the dark dimension. Reborn shows up to tutorthe last remaining Vongola Heir and ends up in the middle of a longstandingbattle against the Forces of Evil. Does the World Greatest Hitman have what ittakes to guide the mysterious masked Rider towards his true strength? Staytuned to find out! Oneshots, WIP

17.11.          When theNightingale Sings: Sky Flames are Dragons, and when a Sky is Sealed theyturn into True Dragons once said Seal breaks. Tsuna has the Best TreasuresEver. Reborn is confused but willing to roll with it. Hayato needs to do allthe research. Drabbles, WIP

17.12.          Where theSky Meets the Sea: Crossover with OP – The ASL Trio are reborn as SawadaTsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remembereverything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despitelacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsudoes keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more thanone son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nononever meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everythingis now on fire. Drabbles, WIP

17.13.           

18. KyouKara Maoh

19. MARVEL

19.1.              AnAssemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Team Iron Man focus, sinceTony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter iscoming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics,experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremiscarried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magicmeans that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothinglike the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds toregret it for the rest of his life. Meta

19.2.              IronLaced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai indisguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council ofShadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when theytook over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony isactually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked inhis dragon form. WIP

19.3.              Miles ToGo: Post-MCU Civil War almost-Time Travel where Tony grieves so hard hesends an Extremis injector capsule to the year before the Winter Soldier murderedhis parents. Said capsule lands in front of a wasted 15-year-old Tony in theaftermath of a frat party. Cue the face hugger scene. Tony gets an Extremisupgrade about 30 years ahead of schedule and it’s the only reason he survivesthe memory download without his brain turning into mush. WIP

19.4.              Perception:Instead of killing Scott in X3, Dark Phoenix instead fixes the brain damagethat prevented him from controlling his optic blasts and then shunts him troughtime an space. Scott wakes up 18-years-old in Stryker’s lab and proceeds tohijack Wolverine’s rampage so that they can both escape. James Howlett isimpressed, and Cyclops hates everything but especially time travel because itruins all his fallback plans. WIP

20. NARUTO

20.1.              AFeather’s Weight: Crossover with FFVII – Kakashi and Obito, along withtheir respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus inposition to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutaistill loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too latethat Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction forSephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated PresidentShinra. WIP

20.2.              A SpaceBetween Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Konoha Founders and theirsiblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save theRealms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another.

20.3.              AWidening Gyre: Rin survives the Chidori and her existence is now an S-classsecret. Said S-class secret distracts Obito on his way to ambush Kushina’slabour and several different chase scenes take place. They all end up in theROOT base made from one of Tobirama’s old labs and instead of Kyuubi gettingloose Team Ro, the Fourth Hokage’s team of bodyguards, Obito, Anko, and all ofROOT plus Danzo himself get dumped into the Warring Clans Era. Obito killsDanzo in a panic when he realizes that taking the Bijuu means killing Rin,Kakashi sacrifices himself again, and there is a lot more running around. Kakashisuborns ROOT en masse, Obito is stupidly overpowered and homicidal but it’sokay because Kakashi is playing damsel in distress and distracting him. TheSenju and the Uchiha are all really confused by these kids, there are far toomany mistaken identities, and Konoha gets founded much earlier than in canon. Meta

20.4.              Accordingto Custom: Hashirama and Madara should not be left unsupervised (that’s whyMito and Touka tend to lurk nearby when they have tea together) because itcauses them to get Brilliant Ideas. This time they decide to make friends withone another’s little brothers. How Madara went from being “nice” to Tobirama tocourting the oblivious younger Senju is still something of a mystery, but thereare several bets riding on when Tobirama is going to realize what’s going on. Long Oneshots, WIP

20.5.              Aroundthe River Bend: Tobirama feels Itama die and runs to the river to mourn.Quite predictably he meets Madara there, and the course of History changes. Oneshot

20.6.              Coloursand Promises: Set a decade after the Evil has been defeated and lifereturned to normal, Tobirama (once the magical superhero Dragon) is stillliving with the side effects of sacrificing everything to save the world whilehe was still a teenager. Notes on a piano, and a familiar voice singing afamiliar song. Tobirama finds Madara (once the magical superhero Phoenix) andfinally gets to enjoy his victory. Love can be killed, but it never dies, onlyever taking on new shapes as we move on with our lives. Drabbles, WIP

20.7.              Heavy asthe Mountain: Team 7 is loosing the fight against Kaguya, but Obito andKakashi perform a last minute sacrifice that means the kids survive. It alsocauses them all to be de-aged by over a decade and thrown back in time to theWarring Clans Era. Kakashi and Obito die, Team 7 gets adopted bypresumably-Hatake Kanna, then a few years later they run into Uchiha Izuna andit all descends into chaos. (Team 7 takes total advantage of everything to gettheir revenge on Zetsu and maybe fix some of Konoha’s longstanding issues at thesame time.) WIP

20.8.              InKonoha We Dance: The Uchiha Clan has a tradition of belly dancing andit fixes everything that was wrong with Konoha in canon. Oneshots

20.8.1. O-Bon Appetite: Thanks to his dancetraining Izuna manages the core control to dodge Tobirama’s sword enough toavoid a fatal wound and Konoha starts off on more equal footing. Tobirama thenwalks into a traditional Uchiha celebration and his brain shuts off.

20.8.2. Hot Like Burning: Kushina drags Minatoto the Uchiha Police Office Party so she can make time with Mikoto and there isso much skin, Minato was not emotionally prepared for this. Fugaku takesadvantage of the Yondaime’s weakness as only an Uchiha can and the glorious‘ship FuMiKuMi sets sail.

20.8.3. Got This Fire Burning: Overnight shiftsat the Mission Desk gets boring. Konoha ninja like to dance, because dancingisn’t boring. Kakashi shows them all how it’s done when a member of Team 7 hitsit.

20.9.              Karma,and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with KHR – Legendary Ninjafrom the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt allthe Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer.

20.9.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito areninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and someminor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be inClans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long beforethe child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obitorepents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life.Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP

20.9.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothersare reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno cursebeing put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start huntingfor the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimoriduring Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take wellto this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madarahunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly.Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP

20.9.2.1.     KarmicJustice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigatingthe Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target forchild stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madaraand Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. WIP

20.9.2.2.     KarmicJustice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting inItaly for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madarainstantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, andTsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-Xanatos-Gambit-vengance-plotlevels of overprotective big brother. WIP

20.10.          Look theInnocent Flower: Orochimaru gets the Hat instead of Minato because insteadof working for Danzo he creates his Baby-no-Jutsu (the same one that producedRogu and Mitsuki) and that’s how Orochimaru accidently turns Tenzo into theOrochimaru-and-Tsunade lovechild while field testing some gene-splicingadoption techniques. Sarutobi is so delighted by all the babies he namesOrochimaru his successor without any further debate. Konoha proceeds to becomea somewhat androgynous, gender-fluid utopia full off affectionate, friendlypeople who only want you for your body. Orochimaru refuses to allow hypocrisyin his Konoha and loyalty to ones comrades is not only encouraged, it’senforced. Meta

20.11.          Negotiationis an Artform: Remix of The Art of Negotiation by Kage88 – Konoha’sFounders take a trip to Uzushio and the Uzumaki are annoyingly persistent intheir attentions, even when said attentions are unwanted. Tobirama’s politicalsavvy is not to be underestimated, and Tobirama’s just as ridiculouslyoverprotective of his loved ones as his relatives are of him. Bitchy piningresolves into dating, and the only reason Tobirama lets Hashirama get away withbetting on his love life is because Hashirama was the only one who had faith inTobirama making the first move. Oneshot -Complete

20.12.          Red inHand and Claw: Madara has Raptor Summons. This fact is significantly moreterrifying than anyone outside of the Uchiha Clan is really aware of. Oneshot

20.13.          Roads Diverged:Kakashi from a Darker-Than-Canon AU ends his fight with Obito with mutualdestruction, and as they both lay dying Kakashi confesses to having alwaysloved Obito. Obito being Obito and therefore unholy levels of Extra even for anUchiha, proceeds to use Edo Tensai on Team 7 in order to heal Kakashi and thenfling him through dimensions until he lands in a Lighter-Than-Canon AU whereKakashi sees Rin in time to avoid hitting her with the Chidori. Things spiralfrom there. WIP

20.14.          That WeAnswer to Our Stars: Crossover with SW – Kaguya’s reality warp has somestrange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to everexist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld thatis essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it was allowed to cover anentire planet. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all ofPalpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta

20.15.          The ThinLine: Kakashi loses patience with the Sandaime when no appreciable actionis taken to remove Danzo from power even after Kakashi literally reports toSarutobi’s face that he was ordered by Danzo to assassinate the Third Hokage.So Kakashi crashes an Uchiha Clan meeting and asks them to run away with himand his cute little brothers to a lovely tropical Island. Cue the Uchiha ExodusThat Fucks Over Canon. Kakashi and the Uchiha Clan proceed to re-found Uzushioand collect a few S-class missing nin along the way. WIP

20.16.          TheWaters and the Wild: The Senju are High Court Fae, and the Uchiha are WildHunt Shapeshifters. Tobirama attempts to interrupt Hashirama and Madara duringtheir riverside meeting, only it backfires when he realizes that Madara is hisSoulmate. Also the Uchiha are “clothing optional” and Tobirama was notemotionally prepared for this. Drabbles,WIP

20.17.          Truthin Hyperbole: Shinobi are what happen when Aliens and Humans have kids,Bloodline Talents are what happens when Kami and Youkai ancestry gets added tothe pot. Most of the time Shinobi stay mostly Human. Sometimes they don’t.Sometimes they really don’t. Series - WIP

20.17.1.               BloodPrice: Tobirama wakes up after being killed and proceeds to resurrect hislittle brothers and Madara’s little brothers. Tobirama would resurrect Madaratoo but Madara had already managed to resurrect himself.

20.17.2.               StillWaters Run: The Sage of Six Paths gets his ass kicked by his ex-wife, hisdaughter-in-law, and Tobirama’s mother.

20.17.3.               A ThingWith Feathers: Madara’s side of the story of their transformation intominor kami.

20.17.4.               Come Away:Zetsu is targeting Obito in another attempt to create the Rinnegan. Kakashi hashis first “near death” experience and Obito is not amused at all. Neither isRin. Team 7 is overprotective and codependent regardless of the generation inquestion.

20.17.5.               Quoth theRaven: Danzo’s schemes got him chased out of Konoha to escape execution,and he invades during the Chunin Exams in order to get his revenge. SummoningTobirama using the Edo Tensai was probably not the best plan.

20.18.          TsukumogamiNo Kankurou: While he is still very young, Kankurou signs a Summonscontract with the Tsukumogami (aka the Muppet Theater Troupe) and then proceedsto interrupt Yashamaru’s “attack” on Gaara while simultaneously wreaking havocacross the entirety of Sunagakure. All of this is done to get back at Rasa fornot letting Kankurou play with his baby brother. The Middle Child Syndrome isstrong in this one. Never underestimate the power of petty spite. Oneshot - Completed

20.19.          Twice isHappenstance: As a side effect of the battle against Kaguya breakingthrough dimensions, the ghosts of the Uchiha Clan send their memories as farback as possible. On the eve of his younger brother’s assassinations, UchihaMadara wakes up with memories of being Indra and Sasuke. All the Uchiha havememories of their past and future lives combining with their current selves,and it causes something of a fracas while it gets sorted out. Cue the UchihaExodus That Fucks Over Canon. Oneshot - Complete

20.19.1.               EnemyAction: The building of Uchihatlantis, the knockback effects of rememberingmore than one lifetime, and what happens when the Uchiha start to go back outinto the world in order to hunt down their spouses and mess up Zetsu’s plans. Meta

20.20.          Two StepsBack: Retired Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi accidently has his first vacationever interrupted when he visits the Uzushiogakure ruins and gets slingshot backan incarnation or two due to triggering a derelict seal. Kakashi being Kakashi,he proceeds to continue with his vacation until he has a drunken bar hookupwith Uchiha Izuna and now the beloved younger brother of Uchiha “I-can-fight-five-armies-and-win”Madara is stalking Kakashi in order to recite (hilariously awful) poetry aboutthe beauty of Kakashi’s kenjutsu. This is not the retirement Kakashi signed upfor. WIP - Drabbles

20.21.          TwoTruths and a Lie: Mikoto and Kushina have been fake!dating for years tokeep the more annoying Uchiha relatives from trying to get her married off.It’s a brilliant plan, and it works perfectly. But times change, and Kushina’seyes are very pretty. Oneshot - Complete

20.22.          Wills ofFire and Conquest: Crossover with OP – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brotherand ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnatedshinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashieventually founds a new Uzushiogakure on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants tobe the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badlyduring the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat anapology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash isfrequent and hilarious. WIP

20.23.          Worth ofa Thousand Words: Political Hostage!Tobirama gets caught by the Uchiha justbefore he manages to use Hiraishin in battle for the first time. The Uchiha areall sensors that use Ninshu techniques otherwise since lost to time tocommunicate among themselves. This results in a much more united Uchiha Clanwho are perfectly willing to let Madara push for a peace treaty with the Senjunow that Tobirama’s capture has given them the leverage to do so. Meta

21. NURARIHYON NO MAGO

21.1.              1001Demonic Nights: An AU Rikuo who was dragged into Yomi along with his HakkaiYakko during the battle against the Nue manages to escape from hell by jumpinginto an alternate reality where his mother Wakana had a threesome with Rihanand Otome. Wakana left to take over her family shrine without telling herlovers that she was pregnant. The Rikuo who was born as a result died as aninfant from the Nue’s curse on Nurarihyon’s bloodline. Both Rikuo and Otome’sdaughter were conceived on the same night and are both half-demons due to Rihanshifting forms for kinky species-play. WIP

22. ONE PIECE

22.1.              BurningSalt Water: Crossover with KHR – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jacksonduring the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways andhe ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the executionXanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace setsthe Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP

22.2.              How FarI’ll Go: Roger had other lovers before he met Rouge and one of them was aFishwife that he met at a Peacemoot. Their daughter was a mermaid and thusneeded to remain on Fishman Island for her own safety. The World Government isso Human-centric that they don’t bother looking into any of Roger’s ladyfriends from the other races. Gol D Ann gives no shits about anybodiesprejudices and when her mixed up genetics mean her feet come in about 20 yearsearly she immediately takes off to track down her baby brother. Goldfish isLuffy’s favourite sibling and Ann is delighted to find three baby brothers forthe price of one. WIP

22.3.              Rumour,Slander, Hearsay: Garp is even worse at interpersonal communication than incanon and now the entire Marine fleet thinks that Monkey D Dragon is anoversexed degenerate who keep dumping his illegitimate spawn on his poor heroicfather’s doorstep. Otherwise known as Dragon adopts ASL and they seek aglorious Revolution. Meta

22.4.              Those WhoFavour Fire: Ace survives Marineford, even if only in spirit, because theGoddess of the Sea answered the prayer of another version of Ace. Waking up inthe place of his 17-year-old murdered doppelganger, Ace now has to deal withraising a 7-year-old Luffy and escaping the notice of the Marines. Oh, and hismurdered younger self is hanging around as a ghost, all the younger versions ofLuffy’s crewmates keep showing up on Ace’s boat, and Ace keeps getting trippedup over how much more horrible this world is compared to the one he came from. WIP

22.5.              Where theSky Meets the Sea: Crossover with KHR – The ASL Trio are reborn as SawadaTsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remembereverything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despitelacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsudoes keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more thanone son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nononever meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everythingis now on fire. Drabbles - WIP

22.6.              WildfireHearts: Ace goes back in time from his death to the Grey Terminal Fire, figuresout how to use natural fire to heal himself, saves child!Ace and child!Luffy,changes his name to Portgas D Riot, runs away to the Grand Line with his babybrothers, puts together a new pirate crew, and hits on Marco so hard thePhoenix forgets how to complete his sentences. Everything works out for thebetter. WIP

22.6.1. Heave A Sigh And A Wish For Me – WH SpinoffAU: SI-Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid named Occhio D Vittoria gets tapped in bythe Ocean Goddess to help Riot et al from WildfireHearts succeed in their adventures. WIP

22.7.              Wills ofFire and Conquest: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi is Rouge’s littlebrother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for otherreincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red DawnPirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushio on the Red Line. Acedecides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insultsAce’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 daystrying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirateculture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP

23. PETSHOP OF HORRORS

23.1.              EventHorizons: Leon isn’t human, and that changes things in the aftermath of theconfrontation with Papa D. Count D wants to unravel the mystery of hisfavourite Detective, and Leon is starting to wake up. Hopefully they both findthe knowledge they’re looking for before it’s too late and their enemy findsthem. WIP – Under Revision

24. SAILOR MOON

24.1.              FromOlympus to Mu: The Senshi go to college and Mamoru reunites with the Shitennou.Basis of headcanons and characterization for any further post-canon SM fic. WIP

24.2.              Music ofthe Spheres: Crossover with KHR – Post Stars Usagi and Post VongolaInheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after theVongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protectivecustody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say shedoesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all themen, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in thesame room she is. WIP

24.2.1. Celestial Chorus – MotS Spinoff AU: Chibiusa’sarrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out ofhand. In Meta

24.3.              The SharpKnife Of A Short Life: SI is reborn as Tsukino Shingo under the aegis ofthe Roman God Janus and then proceeds to merrily say ‘screw canon, my sistergets to be happy or else’. WIP, Drabbles

25. SLAYERS

25.1.              InfiniteBlue: Zelgadis starts paying more attention to the deeper practices ofShamanism and gets in touch with his demonic side while achieving deeperharmony in himself. Xellos approves and it all results in magic explosions andvery strange demonic courtship rituals. WIP

26. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

26.1.              SkippedTracks: The triplets from Underground end up transmigrating into therecently deceased bodies of their counterparts in a SatAM reality and proceedto rock out and confuse everyone. WIP

27. Stargate

28. STAR WARS

28.1.              A Balanceof Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learnersand Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrellsiblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the SevenKingdoms to win against the Long Night.

28.2.              A Robe ofStars: Crossover with TMNT – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save theInitiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once thechildren are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to savingthe Vod’ade. WIP

28.3.              That WeAnswer to Our Stars: Crossover with Naruto – Kaguya’s reality warp has somestrange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to everexist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld thatis essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it hadn’t been fenced in.The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans forgalactic domination. Meta

29. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

29.1.              A Robe ofStars: Crossover with SW – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save theInitiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once thechildren are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to savingthe Vod’ade. WIP

29.2.              A VelvetGlove: Crossover with FOZ – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar.Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most ofthis “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his littlesister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Vallierewith ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her bestfriend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’redoing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes reallyshould have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered,WIP

29.3.              IronLaced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai indisguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council ofShadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when theytook over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony isactually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked inhis dragon form. WIP

29.4.              PaperFlowers: Leonardo and Michelangelo reconnect after years of separation anddeal with some leftover issues from their childhood while they prepare towelcome the next generation of Ninja Turtles into the world. WIP

29.5.              Patchingthe Trousers: Starting from the end of the Fast Forward arc, Leonardo getslost in the multiverse and proceeds to adopt all the secondary turtles. All ofthem. Leonardo is the Mom Friend, only he’s not a friend he’s just a Mom. Chaptered, WIP

29.6.              StainedBandages: Realistic resolution to the most common dark!Splinter tropes. Leodoesn’t really care about himself, but if you touch his brothers he will killyou. Splinter touches Raphael. Karai is gifted with Splinter’s decapitated headin a box. Oneshot, Completed

29.7.              UnraveledSleeves: After First Contact and Splinter’s death from old age, the Turtlesscattered to live their lives. Leonardo is the only one who stayed in the Lair.Making peace with the Karai was only the first step towards healing, and Leomakes peace with himself as he takes on students and his family grows again. Chaptered, WIP

30. TRANSFORMERS

30.1.              A Transformationof Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Most of the Cybertronians who diedduring Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) andDirewolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changesto outcome of several key canon events.

30.2.              Action Equals Reaction

30.3.              CompromisingPositions: Bay’verse Shattered Glass – Megatron knows that there’ssomething wrong with his brother, but nobody will listen to him. Oneshot, Complete

30.4.              HighStakes Wagers: Decepticon Romantic Gestures at their finest. Series of Oneshots

30.4.1. The Bet: Soundwave saves Starscream’slife after he gets blasted away from Unicron and they proceed to have wild,kinky spark-bonding and that’s it that’s the plot.

30.4.2. The Rebirth: Starscream and Soundwavehead off Galvatron and Zarak’s attempt to destroy Cybertron (and Earth, butthat’s really secondary to them) and earn their just rewards for being on thewinning side.

30.5.              NineRings of Vos: The Epic Seeker Saga where Starscream is the uncontestedleader of the Seekers and he’s using the Great War as a cover to renew his people’spopulation numbers, add some variety to their core coding, and also destroy theCybertronian Government because they liked to make Seekers into their slaves. Seven Story Arcs, Chaptered, WIP

30.5.1. Before Dawn: A Rings spin-off where theSeekers are actually all sparklings who disguised themselves as their parentsin order to survive the Great War. Crash-landing on Earth precipitates the BigReveal and also the actual adult Seekers get woken from Government sanctionedstasis thanks to the energy surges caused by resource shipments coming in fromEarth. Chaptered shortfic, WIP

30.6.              No Evil:Starscream is a scientist who wants to stay a scientist but he’s so damn goodat being Air Commander that he gets promoted anyway. Also his bestfriend/roommate from the War Academy is the closest thing to a therapist thatthe Decepticons have and that means Starscream stays mostly sane. Meta in Production

30.7.              Out From Under

30.8.              Thundercracker’sSo Crazy in Love: Seekers Go Into Heat and that will put the War onpause for a bit because of the crazy. Oneshotseries

30.8.1. Always the Quiet Ones: Thundercrackerterrorizes the Decepticon forces on Earth while displaying for his Wingmatesand accidently kills Megatron.

30.8.2. Decepticon Service Announcement:Thundercracker is the new Supreme Leader of the Decepticons and he’s decidedthat they’re in a good position to negotiate peace terms with the Autobots now.

31. YU-GI-OH

31.1.              Old Game,New Rules: Sentinels and Guides are a built in part of society and acertain playing card game ties into that a bit more than most people wouldexpect. There’s a lot of gratuitous soul-bonding smut, worldbuilding runsrampant, and there’s a lot of social commentary on the futility of stereotypingany portion of the population based on a single point of commonality. WIP

31.2.              TheFuture of the Past: Jounouchi’s past life left a surprise in their soulthat the trip to memory world triggers and now Katsuya is living through all ofJono’s memories. WIP – Under Revision

32. YU YU HAKUSHO

32.1.             Bonds:Koenma and Yusuke are soulmates and Enma Daioh interferes because one his bratson is properly wedded and bedded Enma can take a long overdue vacation. Oneshot, PWP-ish

32.1.1.                 TiesThat Bind: Koenma and Yusuke are just starting to get used to being bondedmates when a new/old-and-forgotten enemy shows up to complicate things. WIP – Under Revision

32.2.             WhatHappens on Vacation: Crossover with Bleach – turns out that Kurosaki Misakiwas a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal lifeunaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to beingtrapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their“cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma isjust really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with whilecleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. WIP

… Ta-dah. And also I apologize to the mobile users.

[acelessthan3]

given that I work in the supplement industry with ease of access, product information, a lot of reading time, and willingness to experiment on my own body; I guess you could say I’m an amateur biohacker 

so I’ma lay some knowledge on you

guess if I’m gonna be thorough

first off: don’t trust everything you read on the internet, but if you’re going to examine and selfhacked are two reputable, well-researched, well-sourced places for information on any given nutritional supplement. I’m more inclined to trust examine if I have to choose between the two. If they don’t have an article on it, there probably hasn’t been enough science done to warrant putting it together.

that said, just because science doesn’t have something to say about a thing, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work in some way, just means science hasn’t done the work to look at it yet and Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurvedic Traditions and various Indigenous Peoples’ herbal remedies have merit and are worth looking at

I’m also not a doctor, but I’ve got a BS in Kinesiology so I’ve taken enough anatomy and biochemistry to at least be able to read most of the science I come across. I also work as a supplement whore and have years of customer interactions and corporate product trainings to know what’s hot in the industry, what the trends are for consumers, what doctors and naturopaths most frequently recommend.

Here’s my go-to supplements:

Vitamin D

This one’s in the news a lot lately. The science is all over the place, but chances are if you’re in a Western country that isn’t tropically or sub-tropically located and don’t work outdoors in very little clothing, you probably need at least some Vitamin D. It’s important in immune function, calcium absorption, mood and actually quite a few other things that are still being investigated. I come from Pacific Islander genetics (I’ve got melanin y’all) and live near the Canadian border, I find it helps me with Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms. Unless specifically stated to be vegan, most D will be sourced from lanolin (the fatty substance from sheep’s wool) in softgels with a sunflower/canola carrier oil.

Nitric Oxide Boosters

There’s actually a lot of these that work in different ways, but science is finding that nitric oxide levels in the blood are part of how the body maintains healthy blood pressure. Nitric oxide in the body relaxes smooth muscles which increases the diameter of blood vessels, increasing blood flow. It’s part of how your body lowers blood pressure post-exercise.

There’s several ways (supplementally speaking) to increase nitric oxide in the body. The easiest is to increase available nitrates. As nitrates are digested, they, you guessed it, increase nitric oxide in the blood. Some supplementally available sources of nitrates include: beet root (powder or capsules) and leafy greens.  Synthetic forms like potassium nitrate also exist.

Another way to increase nitric oxide is to use the other metabolic pathways providing appropriate chemical precursors to aid in those biological functions. The most common is L-Arginine. L-Arginine is an amino acid that gets converted into nitric oxide. It’s also used in muscle protein synthesis. It’s in nuts and seeds and meat, and can be supplemented as a standalone molecule. Bioavailability (how well your body can absorb it) is limited as a supplement though because a lot gets broken down in the gut before it can hit the bloodstream, and it’s frequently paired with L-Citrulline (a different amino acid found in high amounts in watermelon) which is converted to arginine in the body but doesn’t get broken down before being absorbed. Aged Garlic Extract (capitalized because it’s a trademarked version that has specifically been studied) works on this by upregulating nitric oxide synthase (which is just fancy for nitric oxide-making enzyme).

Any sports/bodybuilding product that talks about increasing muscle pump is probably using at least one ingredient that affects nitric oxide levels. For dudes, any reputable supplement marketed for “blood flow” will contain at least one ingredient that affects nitric oxide levels (also a lot of the ingredients in those same products are also marketed as “testosterone boosting” ingredients actually do have uses as nitric oxide boosters if you look at the science). And by reputable I mean you won’t find it at a gas station.

There are various other herbs and things that some studies have shown to affect nitric oxide levels, they’re not as common and/or don’t have much research backing them up, but I’ll list a bunch. Pycnogenol, Horny Goat Weed (epimedium grandiflorum), Grape Seed Extract, Ginseng Tribulus Terrestris. Antioxidants like Resveratrol (a polyphenol originally derived from red grape skins), Glutathione, CoQ10. 

Magnesium

It’s like super important in the body. It’s like the fifth most common element in the human body and is an essential electrolyte for muscle and nerve function. Food sourcing is always best, but there’s arguments to be made that because of corporate monoculturing and depletion of topsoil, that contemporary foods are much lower in minerals than they were pre-industrial. So supplemental. There’s a ton of different types. The way I explain it, pure, metallic magnesium isn’t very useful to the body, so as a supplement you have to chelate (chemistry speak for react it) it with... something. Magnesium oxide is the cheapest (with oxygen). It’s the least bioavailable, but also has the highest elemental Mg of all the chelates. Magnesium Citrate is probably the next most common/cheapest. It’s mixed with citric acid. Take too high a dose of either of these at once and it will cause an electrolye imbalance in your gut. Basically your gut goes hey there’s too much salt in here (and magnesium chelates are salts) and draws a bunch of water into your intestines to flush it out. Sometimes prescribed to treat constipation. The next class are your amino acid chelates. Glycinate, Taurate, Threonate, to name a few. Research is still emerging, but different amino acids get the magnesium to different parts of the body and they have slightly different effects. They’re the most bioavailable because the human body is designed to recognize and digest proteins to amino acids. Magnesium chloride (or ionic) is going to be salt water derived with the sodium salt removed. I personally take a ZMA form, which is Zinc Magnesium Aspartate (with B6) specifically because it’s been well-studied in athletes for promoting restful sleep. I’ve also done a mag citrate in powdered drink form and found that it helped prevent cramping and somewhat mitigate my nighttime bruxism.

Nootropics to control your mood

So there’s all the caffeine and brain performance enhancers. I’m not really into that. A lot of products for memory and focus specifically have herbs and other ingredients that at least some studies have shown increase blood flow to the parts of the brain that help with... memory and focus. Those will be your Huperzine A, Bacopa, Ginkgo Biloba, Rosemary and, well, anything I mentioned above under nitric oxide boosters because more blood flow! I guess the Lion’s Mane Mushrooms would be in this class of nootropics. 

Another class of nootropics are your “Brain Foods” these are direct chemical precursors to various neurotransmitters in your brain. The idea being that if you give your brain more of the raw materials it needs to make serotonin, acetylcholine, gaba or dopamine, it will make them. There’s a bunch and I forget exactly which ones go with which, but L-Tyrosine, TMG (trimethylglycine), L-Phenylalanine, L-Tryptophan (and it’s own metabolite 5-HTP), Acetyl-L-Carnitine, Alpha GPC, L-theanine, GABA, L-Citrulline, L-DOPA (and in plant form as mucuna pruriens).

The one that I recommend most often is L-theanine. It’s an amino acid derived from green tea. It’s part of why the caffeine in tea doesn’t make you as jittery as the same amount of caffeine from coffee. L-theanine is a direct chemical precursor to GABA which is the neurotransmitter most active in the parasympathetic nervous system (aka, the rest and digest nervous system). It’s like a literal chill pill when it comes to acute anxiety and works within like half an hour. You can also get GABA by itself.

You also have your adaptogens, which are a classes of herbs that help balance your hormones and “adapt” to stress. Ashwaganda, rhodiola, various ginsengs, tulsi “holy basil” and I’m sure several others I’m forgetting. Most are from ayurvedic or TCM uses.

There’s also CBD which helps some people with anxiety. The kind you can find at supplement stores or health food stores will be hemp-derived, which means by under the 2018 Farm Bill it cannot contain more than 0.3% THC by weight or it is classified as a marijuana/cannabis product and therefore illegal federally.

Sleep

I don’t fuck with melatonin. Most healthy bodies with an uninterrupted circadian rhythm naturally produce less than 0.3mg of melatonin at night so all these sleep supplements with 1, 5, TEN mg of melatonin kind of scare me and I always try to steer people to a lower dose first unless they’re coming in on doctor’s orders. 

GABA and L-theanine because they’re calming can be helpful for sleep if the problem is turning off your brain. They’re non-sedative on their own but can be helpful. 

Magnesium also relaxes the body and can be helpful for sleep.

CBD and Ashwaganda for their stress-relieving properties are frequently marketed for sleep. 

Herbally there’s valerian, st john’s wort, poppy and kava kava. The risk of complications or potential interference with medications are why I don’t recommend these ones first unless someone is specifically looking for them. Lavender, chamomile, hops, and catnip are all usually pretty safe and common in herbal blends.

Homeopathy

I don’t trust homeopathy. The idea that small amounts of a thing that would normally cause the symptom you’re trying to treat makes sense. That’s the same principle behind inducing an immune response with vaccines. The idea that the more you dilute the thing, the more powerful it’s action in the body? Sketchy at best. The idea that the water used to dilute the thing will remember it so even if the dilution is so massive that there are no actual molecules of the original substance in a hundred pills (that are also, for the record, dry)? You lost me.

That said, surgeons do recommend 6C or 10X Arnica after surgery for bruising and it does seem to lessen the heal time.

Yeah, if you have questions on anything specific, feel free to shoot me an ask. If I don’t know off the top of my head, I can find out.

[solanazblog-blog]

Curcumin as treatment for Rheumatoid Arthritis

These days Rheumatoid Arthritis consist of four plans of attack, NSAIDS, steroids, disease modifying antirheumatic drugs or DMARDS and biologic agents. Most of these drugs are very effective but they can have serious side effects, like liver damage, bone marrow suppression, lung infections, joint inflammation (I know ironic, but true), and blood clots. That doesn't cover bruising, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, being susceptible to catching colds, flus and other unpleasant contagions.

The goal of all of these drugs is to reduce inflammation so that joint pain and joint destruction don't continue. Reducing pain levels is so that one can have quality of life and reducing the joint destruction is for keeping functionality of the joints as long as possible.

Rheumatologists do blood work to assess how much inflammation the body is fighting. These tests are called erythrocyte sedimentation rate (ESR), C-reactive protein (CRP) and plasma viscosity (PV). (Tidy) Most autoimmune patients are familiar with these tests. While we use all three, the most important one is the CPR. A healthy person has "CRP levels...below 3.0 mg/L." (Carteron) CPR numbers over 10.0 mg/L signify "infection or inflammatory disease" (Carteron)

So, for RA patients, we want our numbers to be as low as we can get them. Sometimes treatments lower the numbers between 3.0 mg/L and 10.0 mg/L and sometimes we can get them below 3.0 mg/L. Being 3.0 mg/L means we are in remission. Remission being all signs and symptoms of RA are gone but RA is still recognized in a blood test.

The current methods of treatment are fantastic considering some of the older methods of treatment which included aspirin therapy which is still used but generally not first choice due to stomach and digestive issues like causing ulcers. Gold treatments were used through capsules and injections but there could be a lot of side effects like allergic reactions, bruising at site injection, and chronic diarrhea. Both approaches usually take months to start to take effect as well.

The newer treatments tend to work more quickly, though if you listen to any commercial, you'll be too scared to take them as well. When I was prescribed Humira, the pharmacist handed me a ten-page side effect booklet. Ten pages! I asked the pharmacist if this was for real and he said 'yes'. I walked out with the meds and by the time I got to my car, I knew I wasn't going to take it. I came home and put it in the fridge, where you have to store it. I looked at it all day and night and then I promptly said, "no thank you" and there went $2000.00 a month in medicine in the trash (can't return once it left the store) that I wasn't going to take. There had to be a better way.

I got on my computer to look for a better way. I decided to see how people used to treat rheumatism. This is a question that could lead you to answer on why Humira exists, but you also might find that there were ways it was treated, that the Western world decided they could 'improve upon'.

What I found for treating my RA was turmeric, and Indian spice, a member of the ginger family, that is used in Ayurvedic medicine in India. Ayurvedic medicine is:

"…is one of the world's oldest holistic (“whole-body”) healing systems. It was developed more than 3,000 years ago in India.

It’s based on the belief that health and wellness depend on a delicate balance between the mind, body, and spirit. Its main goal is to promote good health, not fight disease. But treatments may be geared toward specific health problems." (WebMD)

Turmeric was specifically used to treat inflammation. One would have to eat a lot of turmeric though to specifically treat an ailment. It is easier to incorporate turmeric in India when many of the food preparation consists or could consist of ingesting turmeric up to three times a day with meals and drinking Golden Milk, a turmeric drink. Scientists decided to figure out what in turmeric helped stop inflammation. They came up with the main polyphenol curcumin. They isolated this out and created curcumin as a separate supplement. When curcumin was combined with piperine (black pepper) the bioavailability of it became 2000% of turmeric the spice, and we already knew that was effective! Over the years various combinations of curcumin have been created. Some people couldn't handle the black pepper or the extra ginger. So, a company called Arunja Naturals Extracts Ltd. In India created Curcumin BCM-95®. This is a combination of curcuminoids and essential oils, all natural that ensure high bioavailability without extra supplements or additive. Some brands will say that using medium chain triglycerides (MCT) makes it even more bioavailable but if you’re like me and allergic to coconut and palm kernel, the sources of MCT, you can’t use MCT. Curcumin BCM-95 is excellent all by itself.

BCM-95 or as its now been renamed, Curcugreen ® “…is all-natural, from simple ingredients, and holds 13 international patents. It has been extensively researched in 33 clinical studies by universities throughout the US, Japan, Australia, and India, backing its efficacy for multiple health indications” and "BCM-95 is one of only a few supplements in the nutraceutical industry to receive an FDA 'No Questions' response letter, after previously undergoing safety and quality evaluations." (Cision) The Arthritis Foundation recognizes turmeric, pointing out that curcumin BCM-95 is known and recognized for treating RA and osteoarthritis (OA), as well as bursitis. It even gives recommended dosages. Studies show it is more effective than using NSAIDS and that it blocks “inflammatory cytokines and enzymes, including cyclooxygenase-2 (COX-2), the target of celecoxib (Celebrex).” (Arthritis.Org)

I told my doctor that I was going to start taking Curcumin BCM-95. He first asked me, with a low voice and concern, did I think that I had arthritis? I said, “ah yeah doc, that’s why I’m trying to find a better way, because I know I have it.”  I explained to him what it was and he knew of the spice but wasn’t sure that my level of RA would be treated with the formulation alone, (remember, he just gave me Humira, heavy stuff) so I made ‘lady/gentlemen’s’ agreement with him, I asked him to give me 3 months and let me see what it does to my inflammation numbers and if the numbers stay the same or go up, I will go back on standard RA meds, if they go down, he needs to let me continue to see how low we can go with curcumin. He agreed. 90 days later, I went from 11.0 mg/L (high inflammation and that was with standard meds) to 6.0 mg/L. We did another 90 days. I dropped from 6.0 mg/L to 4.0 mg/L. He then said, he’ll see me in 6 months, this was progress. In six months, I was 1.5 mg/L. I was now less than the healthy, non-inflamed person. I have maintained below the 3.0 mg/L for two years now. A year and half ago, he looked at me and said, “I wish all of my patients did the work you do to help yourself with alternative methods.” I see him every six months now because, I am not symptomatic of RA. Now I do have the occasional flare up, but I can attribute it to something I ate or a physical position, I was in too long. I don’t just have random flareups like I used too. Curcumin also makes it so that I don’t need pain meds. This has helped my stomach out a lot. I see my GP every six months as well, but I time his appointments so that I am still getting bloodwork done every 90 days. My GP has RA and he uses biologics. He asked me what I was using, and I told him I wasn’t being treated for RA that I was using curcumin instead. He responded with, “That is treatment, I thought you weren’t being treated.” I said, “I didn’t think docs were recognizing curcumin like that.” And he said they were. My over the counter supplement is considered treatment. A win for the natural alternatives.

You’re at my site because you are looking for alternatives to treating your RA; curcumin is it. You can find BCM-95 or Curcugreen at any supplement store or online. Many people with RA use many versions of curcumin, but the only one recognized by the Arthritis Foundation and the only version that is backed by studies for RA, is the BCM-95/Curcugreen formulation. Give it a try and let me know what you think. Write below in our comments section to let us know if it worked for you or not. We look forward to hearing from you.

Check me out at my website for more info on Alternative Methods for Rheumatoid Arthritis:

https://sites.google.com/a/oswego.edu/rheumtogrow/home

*Don’t go off your meds and always speak to your doctor before trying anything new. I am not giving you medical advice, and I am not a doctor.

Resources:

Arjuna Natural Extracts Ltd. (2018, June 26). Arjuna Natural BCM-95® Curcumin Confirmed by FDA. Retrieved from https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/arjuna-natural-bcm-95-curcumin-confirmed-by-fda-638268643.html.

Benefits and Risks of Arthritis Medicines. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.arthritis.org/living-with-arthritis/treatments/plan/arthritis-drugs-benefits-risks.php.

Caterton, N. (2018, June 12). Rheumatoid Arthritis: What CRP Levels Say About You. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/rheumatoid-arthritis-crp-levels.

Gold Treatment. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://orthop.washington.edu/patient-care/articles/arthritis/gold-treatment.html.

Hewlings, S. J., & Kalman, D. S. (2017, October 22). Curcumin: A Review of Its' Effects on Human Health. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5664031/.

Kandola, A. (2018, October 24). Rheumatoid arthritis and CRP levels: What is normal? Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323450.php.

Ratini, M. (2019, March 20). What Is Ayurveda? Treatments, Massage, Diet, and More. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/ayurvedic-treatments#1.

Rheumatoid arthritis. (2019, March 1). Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/rheumatoid-arthritis/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20353653.

Tidy, C. (2018, July 18). Inflammation Blood Tests: ESR, CRP and PV Values. Retrieved from https://patient.info/treatment-medication/blood-tests/blood-tests-to-detect-inflammation.

turmeric. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.arthritis.org/living-with-arthritis/treatments/natural/supplements-herbs/guide/turmeric.php.

turmeric and Rheumatoid Arthritis Symptoms. (2015, February 2). Retrieved from https://nccih.nih.gov/research/results/spotlight/030106.htm.

[drlaurynlax]

The Ultimate Supplement Guide: How Not to Waste Your Money

This supplement guide will provide reasons why you should take supplements regularly.

Go-To Supplement List

What are the best supplements to take? 

It’s a common question I am asked by clients, looking to maximize their health. 

Many people have no idea about what the best supplements are to take, so they simply consult Doctor Google for suggestions to “cure” a cold, allergies or constipation—only to find hundreds of different recommendations for products they should try. 

They order it. Take it, and…sometimes it works. Often times it doesn’t or they have no clue if it’s really making a difference at all. 

Be warned: NOT all supplements are created equal. 

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re wasting your money or not, look no further. In this article on the best supplements to take, we will review:

What Makes a Supplement “Bad” or Good in the First Place

The Worst Supplements (NOT to Take)

The Best Healing & Maintenance Supplements 

Bad vs. Good Supplements: The Supplement Guide

NOT ALL SUPPLEMENTS ARE CREATED EQUAL

The supplement industry is overwhelmingly filled with hundreds of thousands of products that are unregulated by the FDA. 

Americans spend more than $30 billion on supplements every year—from products on Amazon to diet shakes and bars and fitness enhancements—looking to enhance their health, see “fast results” or perhaps out-supplement the pizza and cocktails they’d prefer to eat instead. 

While some of these formulas are legit, a vast majority are NOT, and you may very well be pooping out those vitamins you spent $50 bucks on Amazon, or wondering if your supplements are actually working. 

Additionally, many vitamins and other supplements simply degrade and lose effectiveness when exposed to excessive heat, light, oxygen in the air, or humidity during shipping and processing alone. 

So should you even take supplements at all?!  Stick with me. 

There are definitely some legit formulas out there, BUT for starters, here’s what you should know about what NOT to take….

MOST SUPPLEMENTS DON’T WORK

Fish Oil Goes Rancid

The vast majority of fish oil supplements on shelves don’t contain the health benefits they claim (Wang et al, 2016) —as many of the formulas go “rancid” in high heat conditions. 

Vitamin D Marketing is Hype

That Vitamin D you’re taking may actually be toxic to your health. Especially if you actually aren’t deficient in the vitamin at all. Many people take the supplement for years after an initial diagnosis of “low Vitamin D”—only to later find out they are “overloaded” with it or their body didn’t actually need it in the first place (they were actually deficient in Parathyroid Hormone—not Vitamin D (Abrams et al, 2005). 

You Pee Out Your Multi-Vitamins

Multi-vitamins may make you FEEL “healthier” because you’re taking a pill with “everything” in it—but many of the nutrients are useless. For instance, Folic Acid in multi-vitamins is the non-absorbable version of Folate (Powers, 2007), and is toxic to your body (Troen et al, 2006). And calcium may  be doing your body more harm than good as it is related to increased risk for “calcification” of your arteries and blood vessels (Lutsey & Michos, 2013). As for the claims that you need a multi-vitamin to “prevent” disease? Bunk. A study (Neuhouser et al, 2009) of 160,000 women taking a multi-vitamin found that “multivitamins failed to prevent cancer, heart disease, and all causes of death for all women. Whether the women were healthy eaters or ate very few fruits and vegetables, the results were the same.”

Iron Supplements Are Dangerous

Low in iron? Your doc may tell you to take an iron supplement, however if you are actually low in Vitamin B or Vitamin A, you may actually NOT be deficient in iron, even if it shows up on your blood work (Allen, 2002) & (Bhardwaj et al, 2015). In addition, if you have digestive issues and low stomach acid, you’re more at risk for ALL nutrient deficiencies. Fix the gut health and you may see iron levels and other labels normalize. Taking iron supplements if unnecessary can send your iron levels overboard.

Most Probiotics Contain Probiotics You Don’t Need

Most supplemental probiotics contain lactic acid bacteria—strains of bacteria most human microbiomes are sufficient in (sometimes even “overgrown” with)—and we don’t need. In addition, lactic acid bacterial formulas have a greater risk of being destroyed during processing and as a result, by the time they get to the capsule or bottle, there’s barely any—if anything—left to house your gut.

A review of 7 studies with more than 1300 citations showed that the use of these popular lactic acid strains made no significant difference on the composition of fecal (poop) bacteria health (Kristensen et al, 2016). Another study showed that 15 out of 16 probiotics on shelves did not contain the probiotics they claimed on the label. (Lewis et al, 2016).

Many products make claims regarding the number of organisms in the product, but these typically refer to the numbers at the time of manufacture, which can be very different from the amount still viable at the time of purchase. Exposure to heat, moisture and oxygen can all negatively affect survival of probiotics. (Kolacek et al, 2017).

Your Protein Powder Doesn’t Really Have Protein

Your favorite protein powder may not actually have any of the protein the label claims at all. Many commercial products on shelves are stocked with additives, filler proteins and chemicals your body doesn’t recognize as “food” and that cause ill side effects—like “leaky gut,” bloating, and constipation. 

…Just to name a few studies.

THE WORST SUPPLEMENTS TO AVOID

Beyond the studies, revealing the downsides of some supplements, it’s also vital to recognize that even with “necessary” vitamins and minerals (such as Vitamin C if you catch a cold or digestive enzymes to ease digestion), NOT all formulas are the same. 

Avoid these 3 things:

Waxy, Shiny Capsules Some companies coat supplements with shellac, wax, and hydroxypropylmethylcellulose, to keep the moisture out so the pills have a longer shelf life. While this may be good for preservation, it is not good for you. These coatings can decrease the solubility of a multivitamin tablet or capsule, reducing its ability to readily disintegrate.

Sugar If your supplement has sugar, corn syrup solids, artificial sweeteners or high-fructose corn syrup…run. Far away. Sugar + vitamins is not the medicine you need.

Fillers & Additives Similar to the sugar conundrum, many supplements contain binders and fillers to make the ingredients stick together. The result? Poor disintegration rates for tablets (pills) and capsules in your gut and digestive irritation. 

SUPPLEMENT GUIDE: WHAT SHOULD I TAKE?!

In an ideal world, we’d be able to get all of our nutrients from the foods we eat. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t the case.  Only 1 in 10 Americans eat the recommended number of veggies (3) and fruits (2) every day. 

Not to mention the fact, that even if you do eat your fruits and veggies, many of them are laden with pesticides and chemicals that are not best for our bodies. In addition, our meat and protein sources run a wide gamut. Sustainable proteins are best—reaching for pastured, organic, grass-fed and wild-caught sources as much as possible.

The solution? 

Supplements can help fill the gaps from any nutrient deficiencies we may encounter, as well as help support our overall health as “healing agents” during times of body imbalance. 

Which ones should you take?

There are 2 types of supplements I “prescribe” for clients looking for the right formulas:

Healing Supplements 

Maintenance Supplements

The goal? NOT to remain on TONS of supplements forever. 

Healing Supplements=Short Term Use “Healing” Supplements as short-term solutions for helping bridge the gap to better health, such as taking Oregano Oil when you catch a cold, or Anti-Microbial Herbs to get rid of unhealthy gut bacteria.Maintenance Supplements=Boost Nutrients in Foods

As for Maintenance supplement guide, I recommend a few staple baselines, like a Probiotic and Pre-biotic, just like I recommend drinking water and eating lots of veggies, proteins and healthy fats, to maximize your digestion and the nutrients you get from the foods you eat. 

4 ESSENTIAL PRINCIPLES FOR SUPPLEMENTING

How to know which ones to use and when?This is your ultimate supplement guide!

Use these 4 essential guiding principles to help you rule out what to take and not take. 

Consume nutrients from real, whole foods as much as possible.

Focus on maximizing digestion and gut health. If your gut is unhealthy or “leaky” then you’re not going to absorb your nutrients or vitamins in the first place. (If anything, these are the supplements where I invest my money).

Take nutrients that you are deficient in in their naturally occurring form (as opposed to in shakes, multi-vitamins or fortified foods)

Be picky with what you take. (The cheaper deal is not always the better deal for your body, and instead of asking Doctor Google what to take, consider working with a practitioner to get a custom supplement plan https://drlauryn.com/work-with-me/ built for your body if you’re interested in hacking your health)

ESSENTIAL SUPPLEMENT GUIDE WHEN SHOPPING 

So, now the big question: Which specific supplements are a waste and which ones are must? Use this as your supplement guide.

Here’s a hit list of some of my top go-tos:

HEALING SUPPLEMENTS

Beneficial supplements and herbs for times of imbalance. (i.e. these are not “all the time”) 

Probiotics & Prebiotics

Supplements:

Best probiotics for constipation:

Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist, Primal Probiotics, Garden of Life Primal Defense Ultra, ProBiome Rx Leaky Gut)

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic

E. coli Nissle (Mutaflor)

Lactobacillus plantarum (Jarrow)

Bifidobacteria infantis Align  

Best probiotics for diarrhea/loose stools

Soil-based organisms Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist, 

Primal Probiotics,

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic

Saccharomyces boulardii (Jarrow, Floramyces Designs for Health)

VSL#3

Elixa

Prebiotics 

Sunfiber

Allergies

Cod Liver Oil

Rosita Cod Liver Oil 

 Essential Oils Forget the Vix Vapor Rub, reach for one of these these essential aromatherapy oils instead. Add 4-5 drops of your oil of choice to a diffuser http://amzn.to/2Ebf2wC, and turn it up:

Lemon

Peppermint 

Basil

Eucalyptaus 

Lavender

Allergy Combo: Make a mix with peppermint, eucalyptus and lavender oil. 

Garlic 

GarliActive

Herbal Antihistamine

Histoplex by Biotics Research (Suppressed immunity)

Histoplex AB version (Airborne Allergies)

L-Glutamine

Enteromend by Thorne Research

Liposomal Curcumin

Empirical Labs Liposomal Curcumin  

Oregano Oil

Essential Oil  

or 

Emulsified Oregano Oil Capsules

ADP  

Candibactin-AR  

True Tonic

dChiKitchens  

Spirulina

Now Foods

Quercetin

Quercetin Phytozyme Thorne Research

Zinc

Zinc 30 by Pure Encapsulations

Blood Sugar Balance

Berberine

Thorne Research Berberine

Cod Liver Oil  

Gymnema

Pure Encapsulations  

Fenugreeek

Thorne Research  

Gluco-Supreme (Designs for Health) 

(USE PRACTITIONER CODE: LAURYNLAX at checkout) Balance blood sugar to balance cortisol, and consequently hormones if you have blood sugar imbalances as well.

Magnesium 

Metabolic Synergy (Designs for Health)

(USE PRACTITIONER CODE: LAURYNLAX at checkout) Balance blood sugar to balance cortisol, and consequently hormones if you have blood sugar imbalances as well. 

Prebiotics

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum  

Probiotics

Soil based organisms, like Primal Probiotics

Vitamin D (test your levels before taking)

Designs for Health, D Supreme

Cold/Flu

Oregano Oil 

An essential oil that is considered to be antibacterial, antiparasitic, antiseptic, antiviral and immune stimulating. Like the fresh herb, Buy as an essential oil and dilute 1 drop with 1 drop coconut oil or extra virgin olive oil and take under the tongue.  To get the full benefits of oregano oil, use a dosage of 50-100 mg oregano oil 4x per day.

Castor Oil

The “windex” of all things wellness, castor oil has the ability to “speed up” healing by increasing white blood cells and the count of T-11 cells (a type of special white blood cells that act like antibodies) produced within the body’s lymphocytes that help kill viruses, fungi, bacteria and cancer cells. Rub the oil http://amzn.to/2zQ8mAk  on pulse and sinus points, and the back of the neck.

Turmeric

A natural anti-inflammatory agent for calming the inflammatory response in the body. Curcumin, the active ingredient in turmeric, is anti-viral and anti-fungal. Use a Liposomal  Curcumin http://amzn.to/2DBZAYG for a supplement formula, or add turmeric spice to recipes, like Turmeric Tea https://autoimmunewellness.com/anti-inflammatory-turmeric-tea/,

Vitamin C

Absorbic acid, of Vitamin C, has long been touted as an “immune booster.” Add a little more to the diet through citrus, strawberries and spinach during illness, and short term supplementation via 1000 mg of Liposomal Vitamin C (Empirical Labs http://amzn.to/2CfDqzm, Seeking Health http://amzn.to/2BZSlK5). Liposomal formulas are more absorbable. 

Elderberry

An essential oil and food linked to decreased cold and flu duration due to antibacterial and anti-infectious qualities. Use organic dried black elderberries (1 http://amzn.to/2CpYDU5, 2 http://amzn.to/2DB8Axo) to consume whole, or make a homemade syrup.

Cortisol & Hormone Imbalances (“Adrenal Fatigue” to PMS)

Women’s Power House: EstroFactors

Women’s support formula for balancing estrogen and progesterone. 

Balance Cortisol: Gaia Adrenal Support http://amzn.to/2DEAdWJOR HPA Balance (Vital Plan): https://vitalplan.com/shop/hpa-balance?utm_medium=aff&utm_source=link-connector&utm_campaign=products&utm_content=hpa-balance Minimize cortisol to support healthy hormones. 

Gluco-Supreme (Designs for Health) http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/GlucoSupreme-Herbal-120-capsules

(USE PRACTITIONER CODE: LAURYNLAX at checkout) Balance blood sugar to balance cortisol, and consequently hormones if you have blood sugar imbalances as well.

Metabolic Synergy (Designs for Health)– http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Metabolic-Synergy-180

(USE PRACTITIONER CODE: LAURYNLAX at checkout) Balance blood sugar to balance cortisol, and consequently hormones if you have blood sugar imbalances as well. 

Kavinace (Neuroscience) Calms stress and high cortisol signals to the brain and hormones during that time of the month and beyond. https://www.pureformulas.com/kavinace-60-capsules-by-neuroscience.html 

Phosphatidylserine PS http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Phosphatidyl-Serine-60 (Use code LAURYNLAX) to checkout. 

Vital Adapt. http://amzn.to/2EdPJtD For “low” cortisol and fatigue symptoms. Contains eleuthero, rhodiola, schisandra, ashwagandha, cordyceps, reishi, ginseng, and licorice.

Dysbiosis/Fungal Overgrowth

Activated Charcoal

Integrative Therapeutics https://amzn.to/2JgfZWt

Anti-Biofilm Enzymes

Interfase Plus https://amzn.to/2q9qhyO

Botantical Herbs (Anti-microbials)

Candida AR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-ar

Candida BR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-BR

OR

GI Synergy (Apex) * Must order through a practitioner

OR

Dysbiocide (Biotics)  https://amzn.to/2IvTHig

FC Cidal (Biotics) https://amzn.to/2q8ulPY

Digestive Enzymes

DigesteZymes Digestezyme https://amzn.to/2Ek56zs

Digest 

Carbo G

Emulsified Oregano Oil

ADP by Biotics: http://amzn.to/2F3q9qU 

HCL

Metagest by Metagenics

https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest  https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest 

Monolaurin

Lauracidin https://amzn.to/2GY5g4S 

Ox Bile

Beta Plus by Biotics (1 with each meal) http://amzn.to/2nf35Nc

Prebiotics

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum https://amzn.to/2E9mXck  

Probiotics

Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG 

GENERAL BLOATING & CONSTIPATION

Bloating

Atrantil. http://amzn.to/2DBhMlP Distills methane gas production.

Allicin (Garlic). GarliActive by Pure Encapsulations. https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=893 

Digestive Enzymes. Digest by Transformation Enzymes. http://amzn.to/2DT6nRW 

Carbo-G (if you are sensitive to carbohydrates) https://www.amazon.com/Transformation-Enzyme-Carbo-G-90-caps/dp/B00A1RF44Y  

Beta TCP http://amzn.to/2DEBUDt  (if you are sensitive to eating fats—even healthy ones).

Essential Oils Peppermint, Fennel, & Chamomile.

Hydrochloric Acid or Apple Cider Vinegar. Metagest by Metagenics. https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest 

Ginger. A natural de-bloating effect. 

Ginger Pro by Thorne Research http://amzn.to/2Fk4sCK or Ginger Extract  https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1179 

Liposomal Curcumin

Empirical Labs Liposomal Curcumin http://amzn.to/2GjnpXp 

Prebiotics

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum https://amzn.to/2E9mXck  

Probiotics

Soil based, like Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG 

Constipation

Aloe Latex Capsules. A natural laxative effect. Cape Aloe http://amzn.to/2DBWOmJ

Dandelion & Licorice Root Smooth Move tea. http://amzn.to/2DDTEPB Dandelion tea http://amzn.to/2GjvsDE 

  Bitter Herbs: 

AFNG (Byron White) http://www.byronwhiteformulas.com/tag/afng/

Digest (Standard Process) https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/MediHerb/DiGest-Phytosynergist#.WsZO9WaZPwc 

Iberogast http://amzn.to/2DzQ88H

Natural Calm. Magnesium Citrate plus Calcium relaxes digestive muscles. http://amzn.to/2DEwXdX

GI Renew (Designs for Health). A blend or herbals to support elimination. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FH11M4?ie=UTF8

Magnesium 

Ozonated Magnesium (NOW) https://amzn.to/2GAgMnz 

Magnesium Glycinate (Pure Encapsulations) https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=951 

Magnesium Citrate (Natural Calm) https://amzn.to/2JoBSTs 

Peppermint

IB Guard https://amzn.to/2q8N9yF 

Prebiotics (see complete list at beginning)

Especially Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum https://amzn.to/2E9mXck  

Probiotics

Best probiotics for constipation:

Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur, Primal Probiotics https://amzn.to/2EnobjX, Garden of Life Primal Defense Ultra https://amzn.to/2q5v0BM, ProBiome Rx 

Leaky Gut https://amzn.to/2EmNnao)

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/

E. coli Nissle ( Mutaflor https://feelgoodnatural.com/shop/digestion/mutaflor-sale-60-caps-30-days-supply/?c=e6574c964bd7)

Lactobacillus plantarum (Jarrow https://amzn.to/2GxXjno)

Bifidobacteria infantis Align https://amzn.to/2JnhSB0

Prokinetic: MotilPro by Pure Encapsulations. https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1255 

Vitamin-Electrolyte Blends Ageless Hydro-C https://www.gutsense.org/store/hydro-c-colonic-moisturizer.html 

GERD

HCL Tablets (Metagest)

Metagest https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest 

GI Revive

Designs for Health http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/GI-Revive-Powder (use code DRLAURYNLAX to check out)

Gastro Mend

Designs for Health http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/GastroMend-HP-60

(use code DRLAURYNLAX to check out)

Prebiotics

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum

Soil Based Probiotics Primal Probioticshttp://amzn.to/2kulPrG

IBS-C (Constipation)

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Biotics: FC Cidal https://amzn.to/2Iz6CjC + Dysbiocide, https://amzn.to/2q94V5E 

Apex: GI Synergy, 

Metagenics: Candida BR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-br + Candida AR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-ar

Bitter Herbs: 

AFNG (Byron White) http://www.byronwhiteformulas.com/tag/afng/

Digest (Standard Process) https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/MediHerb/DiGest-Phytosynergist#.WsZO9WaZPwc 

Iberogast http://amzn.to/2DzQ88H

Natural Calm. Magnesium Citrate plus Calcium relaxes digestive muscles. http://amzn.to/2DEwXdX

GI Renew (Designs for Health). A blend or herbals to support elimination. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FH11M4?ie=UTF8

Magnesium 

Ozonated Magnesium (NOW) https://amzn.to/2GAgMnz 

Magnesium Glycinate (Pure Encapsulations) https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=951 

Magnesium Citrate (Natural Calm) https://amzn.to/2JoBSTs 

Ox Bile. Liver support. Beta Plus https://amzn.to/2JrUNNl. or Bilemin https://amzn.to/2H1OrG8 

Peppermint

IB Guard https://amzn.to/2q8N9yF 

Prebiotic’s

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum https://amzn.to/2E9mXck 

Probiotics

Best probiotics for constipation:

Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur, Primal Probiotics https://amzn.to/2EnobjX, Garden of Life Primal Defense Ultra https://amzn.to/2q5v0BM, ProBiome Rx 

Leaky Gut https://amzn.to/2EmNnao)

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/

E. coli Nissle ( Mutaflor https://feelgoodnatural.com/shop/digestion/mutaflor-sale-60-caps-30-days-supply/?c=e6574c964bd7)

Lactobacillus plantarum (Jarrow https://amzn.to/2GxXjno)

Bifidobacteria infantis Align https://amzn.to/2JnhSB0

Prokinetic: MotilPro by Pure Encapsulations. https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1255 

Vitamin-Electrolyte Blends Ageless Hydro-C https://www.gutsense.org/store/hydro-c-colonic-moisturizer.html

For bloating symptoms: Atrantil http://amzn.to/2D750Lz  (2 capsules with meals, diminishes bloating as well)

IBS-Diarrhea 

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Biotics: FC Cidal https://amzn.to/2Iz6CjC + Dysbiocide, https://amzn.to/2q94V5E 

Apex: GI Synergy, 

Metagenics: Candida BR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-br + Candida AR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-ar

AND/OR 

Atrantil. http://amzn.to/2D750Lz 

Bitter Herbs: 

AFNG (Byron White) http://www.byronwhiteformulas.com/tag/afng/

Digest (Standard Process) https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/MediHerb/DiGest-Phytosynergist#.WsZO9WaZPwc 

Iberogast http://amzn.to/2DzQ88H

Butyrate Supplement https://amzn.to/2qaHvwS

GAPS or Elemental diet (specifically for Crohn’s)

Ginger & Ginger Tea.

Peppermint

IB Guard https://amzn.to/2q8N9yF

Prebiotics 

Partially Hydrolyzed Guar Gum https://amzn.to/2E9mXck 

Probiotics (soil-based)

Best probiotics for diarrhea/loose stools

Soil-based organisms Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur, 

Primal Probiotics https://amzn.to/2EnobjX,

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/

Saccharomyces boulardii (Jarrow https://amzn.to/2JnQ8Mk, Floramyces Designs for Health https://amzn.to/2GEV7Xv)

VSL#3 https://amzn.to/2GAu6s7

Elixa https://amzn.to/2EmTJ9M

IBD (Irritable Bowel Disease)

Active Flare

AIP Diet, GAPS Diet, or Low FODMAP Diet

Antimicrobial Herbs Candida AR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-ar

Candida BR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-BR

OR

GI Synergy (Apex) * Must order through a practitioner

OR

Dysbiocide (Biotics)  https://amzn.to/2IvTHig

FC Cidal (Biotics) https://amzn.to/2q8ulPY

Butyrate 3-4 g. like Body Bio https://amzn.to/2HckdO9 

FMT Fecal Microbiota Transplant

Probiotics (soil based) & Prebiotics

VSL#3 https://amzn.to/2GAu6s7 Elixa https://amzn.to/2EmTJ9M MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/ Soil Based: Prescript Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur or Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG Mutaflor https://feelgoodnatural.com/shop/digestion/mutaflor-sale-60-caps-30-days-supply/?c=e6574c964bd7

Prebiotics  Sunfiber https://amzn.to/2E9mXck 

Remission/Maintenance 

AIP Diet, GAPS Diet, or Low FODMAP Diet

Curcumin

BCM-95 (Xymogen) https://amzn.to/2uNMd8i 

liposomal https://amzn.to/2HdWKfR 

Theracurmin (Integrative Therapeutics https://amzn.to/2GEWZTO) 

Colostrum

Tegricel form best; 1.5 g/d (Designs for Health, use code DRLAURYNLAX at checkout) http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Tegricel-Colostrum-60 

Glutathione

Liposomal form best; 2 tsp per day (Empirical Labs) https://amzn.to/2uOGAqz 

Probiotics (soil based) & Prebiotics

VSL#3 https://amzn.to/2GAu6s7 Elixa https://amzn.to/2EmTJ9M MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/ Soil Based: Prescript Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur or Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG Mutaflor https://feelgoodnatural.com/shop/digestion/mutaflor-sale-60-caps-30-days-supply/?c=e6574c964bd7

Prebiotics  Sunfiber https://amzn.to/2E9mXck 

Vitamin D (if low)

Aim for serum level of 40-60 ng/mL

Vitamin D (if low)

Aim for serum level of 40-60 ng/mL

Rosita Cod Liver Oil https://www.corganic.com/products/evclo#592254c4b8e65

Vitamin D (Vitamin D-Supreme by Designs for Health http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Vitamin-D-Supreme, use code DRLAURYNLAX at checkout)

Leaky Gut

Apple Cider Vinegar. Consume 1 tbsp. in 2-4 oz. of water with meals.

Butyrate Supplementation.  Try: 1 dose Sodium-Potassium Butyrate (not Cal-Mag) http://amzn.to/2HLbku6.

Colostrum. Try: ProSerum whey by Well Wisdom http://amzn.to/2IB3BAb . 1 Serving Daily.

Glutamine. Try: Enteromend by Thorne http://amzn.to/2G89pTm . 1-3 servings daily.

Probiotics & Prebiotics. These two are staples in any gut-loving plan.Best probiotics for constipation: Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur, Primal Probiotics https://amzn.to/2EnobjX, Garden of Life Primal Defense Ultra https://amzn.to/2q5v0BM, ProBiome Rx  Leaky Gut https://amzn.to/2EmNnao)Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/E. coli Nissle ( Mutaflor https://feelgoodnatural.com/shop/digestion/mutaflor-sale-60-caps-30-days-supply/?c=e6574c964bd7)Lactobacillus plantarum (Jarrow https://amzn.to/2GxXjno)Bifidobacteria infantis Align https://amzn.to/2JnhSB0 

Best probiotics for diarrhea/loose stools

Soil-based organisms Soil-based organisms (Prescript- Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur, 

Primal Probiotics https://amzn.to/2EnobjX,

Transient commensals, like MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/

Saccharomyces boulardii (Jarrow https://amzn.to/2JnQ8Mk, Floramyces Designs for Health https://amzn.to/2GEV7Xv)

VSL#3 https://amzn.to/2GAu6s7

Elixa https://amzn.to/2EmTJ9M

Prebiotics  Sunfiber https://amzn.to/2E9mXck

Vitamins A & D.  Try: Cod liver oil—more absorbable than the synthetic formulas of Vitamin A and Vitamin D supplements. I like Rosita Cod Liver Oil https://www.corganic.com/products/evclo#592254c4b8e65 capsules.

Zinc. Try Biotics Aqueous Zinc http://amzn.to/2HN8lBF for 7 days, then switch to a capsule form like this one by Pure Encapsulations https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1003

Liver & Gallbladder Health

Liver/Gallbladder Support: Beta TCP (Pancreatic Enzymes) http://amzn.to/2DEBUDt  or Beta Plus (Ox Bile) http://amzn.to/2DGzjZG (if you’ve had gallbladder removed). Helps create bile (waste)

Ginger. Cleansing for the liver. Ginger Pro by Thorne Research http://amzn.to/2Fk4sCK or Ginger Extract  https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1179

Livotrit (Biotics Research) http://amzn.to/2Ee7fhH Contains a blend of liver cleansing herbs: Andrographis, Berberis Aristata, Boehavia, Eclipta, Indian Barberry, Indian Tinospora, Milk Thistle, Picrorhiza, Saccharum Officinarum, Sugarcane, Tinospora Cordifolia.

Muscle Strain/Injury Healing

Turmeric Blend. http://amzn.to/2DEvqEC Anti-inflammatory fighter.

Probiotics. http://amzn.to/2kulPrG Max absorption of nutrients you consume. 

Collagen Protein  http://amzn.to/2DCZBMK & Gelatin http://amzn.to/2DCjCmr

Cod Liver Oil Healthy fatty acids to boost metabolism and regulate blood sugar https://www.corganic.com/collections/supplements/products/evclo-capsules or Vital Choice Fish Oil http://amzn.to/2DTBVHn 

Mood Health 

Vitamin B12: 800 mcg–5 mg/day

DHA: Essential fatty acids boost brain health Vital Choice Fish Oil http://amzn.to/2DTBVHn

HPA Balance (Vital Plan): https://vitalplan.com/shop/hpa-balance?utm_medium=aff&utm_source=link-connector&utm_campaign=products&utm_content=hpa-balance Balance cortisol to support healthy hormones. 

SIBO

Antimicrobial Herbs

Biotics: FC Cidal https://amzn.to/2Iz6CjC + Dysbiocide, https://amzn.to/2q94V5E 

Apex: GI Synergy, 

Metagenics: Candida BR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-br + Candida AR https://llax.metagenics.com/candibactin-ar

Anti-Biofilm

Interfase Plus –https://amzn.to/2q75Ljp

Atrantil: 

Atrantil http://amzn.to/2D750Lz 

Beta TCP or Beta Plus (if no gallbladder)

Beta TCP- http://amzn.to/2DEBUDt 

Beta Plus https://amzn.to/2uOFMSI 

Cod Liver Oil

Rosita Cod Liver Oil https://www.corganic.com/products/evclo#592254c4b8e65

Digestive Bitters

Bitter Herbs: 

AFNG (Byron White) http://www.byronwhiteformulas.com/tag/afng/

Digest (Standard Process) https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/MediHerb/DiGest-Phytosynergist#.WsZO9WaZPwc 

Iberogast http://amzn.to/2DzQ88H

Digestive Enzymes

Digestezymes  http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Digestzymes-180 (use code DRLAURYNLAX to checkout)

Digest https://amzn.to/2HelVii 

Carbo G https://amzn.to/2IAMopD

HCL

Metagest https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest

Monolaurin

Lauracidin https://amzn.to/2uRjFLh 

Peppermint Oil IB Guard https://amzn.to/2qaLQAa

Prokinetic. Motilpro https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1255

Soil Based Probiotic

MegaSporeBiotic https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/ Soil Based: Prescript Assist https://amzn.to/2uQmSur or Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG

Zinc: https://www.purecapspro.com/drlauryn/pe/products/product_details.asp?ProductsID=1003

Sleep Better

Sleep Remedy.  A combo of Magnesium, Vitamin D and a proprietary sleep blend to stimulate the brain to relax. http://www.docparsley.com/shop/ (don’t take melatonin or magnesium in addition to this)

Melatonin. http://amzn.to/2DDFjme Promotes bette sleep.

HPA Balance. Balances stress levels. https://vitalplan.com/shop/hpa-balance?utm_medium=aff&utm_source=link-connector&utm_campaign=products&utm_content=hpa-balance  

Natural Calm. Magnesium Citrate plus Calcium relaxes body http://amzn.to/2DEwXdX

Acetyl-CH (Apex Energetics) http://amzn.to/2FlkA7c A calamine neuro-transmitter for imbalanced hormones, like cortisol, that influences mood and sleep.

Skin Health

Biotin http://amzn.to/2BwrDaw

Fresh renewed skin is yours. 

Collagen Protein

Vital Proteins https://amzn.to/2q9AZpQ 

Equip https://amzn.to/2JlD9eh

OSsoGoodBones https://www.ossogoodbones.com (use code THRIVE for 10% off)

Niacin (B3) http://amzn.to/2Ef1X5v

Prevents skin dryness and rashes.

HCL https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest 

Vitamin A

Cod Liver Oil 

Healthy fatty acids to boost metabolism and regulate blood sugar https://www.corganic.com/collections/supplements/products/evclo-capsules

Vitamin C

Hydration for the skin. Use short-term supplementation via 1000 mg of Liposomal Vitamin C (Empirical Labs http://amzn.to/2CfDqzm, 

Seeking Health http://amzn.to/2BZSlK5). Liposomal formulas are more absorbable.

Hydro-C https://www.gutsense.org/store/hydro-c-colonic-moisturizer.html 

Vitamin K2. http://amzn.to/2BxuO1H Beneficial for preventing wrinkling and premature aging.

Vitamin E http://amzn.to/2DPEkT5 

Skin healing from scars, breakouts and scabs. 

Silica http://amzn.to/2DQzbKF 

Skin hydration and tautness. 

Zinc Wards off acne flares. http://amzn.to/2nflryT 

MAINTENANCE SUPPLEMENTS

Soil Based Probiotic Quality probiotics that are similar to the probiotics of our ancestors’ microbiome “back in the day”—once found rich in our soil, fruits and veggies. 

Primal Probiotics http://amzn.to/2kulPrG

Garden of Life Primal Defense Ultra http://amzn.to/2DQzkxH

Megaspore Biotics https://microbiomelabs.com/products/megasporebiotic/ 

Prebiotic Necessary to absorb and “digest” your probiotics. 

Sunfiber: http://amzn.to/2Aea3vQ 

Hydrochloric Acid or Apple Cider Vinegar. Metagest by Metagenics. https://llax.metagenics.com/spectrazyme-metagest-formerly-metagest Boost stomach acid. 

Digestive Enzymes Helps break down foods you eat.

Digestezymes- http://catalog.designsforhealth.com/Digestzymes-180

(Use code LAURYNLAX to be able to order)

Cod Liver Oil https://www.corganic.com/collections/supplements/products/evclo-capsules. 

Anti-inflammatory, essential fatty acids, absorbable Vitamin A & D, non-rancid formula. The result? Eased digestion, better brain power and energy.

The post The Ultimate Supplement Guide: How Not to Waste Your Money appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/wellness-knowledge/ultimate-supplement-guide/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

[davidmann95]

E L S E W O R L D S ? ? ?

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WORLDS AND THEIR ELSE-ENING ARE MANY.

Gonna put most of this under a spoiler cut just in case, but right up front: I only regularly watch The Flash starting with Season 4 (along with seeing the first half-seasons of it and Supergirl, plus sporadic episodes of the other shows and Invasion!), and while there are absolutely standout episodes, it’s probably the most lukewarmly received piece of media I consume on a regular basis. So Elseworlds looked rad, and The Best Superman was coming back for it, but aside from hints that it was going all Final Crisis (which sadly weren’t realized) I was hardly outright ecstatic at the prospect of a Freaky Friday alone, even with Batwoman’s introduction in play. Basically I assumed it’d a bunch of fine stuff I’d get through so I could drink up the Superman content like a dying man in a desert.

This was my favorite live-action DC thing since The Dark Knight Rises if not in fact The Dark Knight itself, and in all honesty probably my favorite period of the non-Batman division. It was everything I want out of this sort of project and more.

I’mma break this down into a few categories: as a whole, Superman specifically because if you’re here you know what my deal is, THE ENDING, and a multitude of scattershot impressions and thoughts.

AS A WHOLE: Was this a masterwork of layered conceptual depth and calculated plotting tight as drum? Hardly - if nothing else, the sheer fact that the entire Superfamily is functionally and thematically superfluous precludes that upfront. But again, this is the perfect version of this kind of series, where clockwork precision is rarely the name of the game (aside from that dope episode of Flash with the bomb) so much as excitement and character-driven emotion, and in that regard this is the platonic ideal. Oliver and Barry hold the narrative together as Barry low-key relearns the value of his own kind of strength, and Oliver high-key learns to accept that he’s not living in a world defined by him anymore and he needs to be better, to the point where I may not even rag on him as Walmart Batman anymore every time I have cause to mention him, especially since that gets its own perfect sendoff. Batwoman functions as a perfect pilot capsule while still functioning as a chunk of a larger story, and Ruby Rose is on point. Supergirl gets some quality content even with her hands off the wheel (which is one of the lesser aspects given…well, given this is probably gonna be the last crossover like this and she really should have been the lead for one of them). It’s funny and thrilling and so damn weird, concerned above all else with making you giggle at doing stuff you’ve wanted to see for years and then making you give a shit about the emotional consequences of Barry Allen picking up some archery classes, and it earns what it reaches for.

Moreover, this episode represented a moment of maturation for me in terms of its status as a shared universe: Crisis on Earth-X was the culmination of what this world HAD been with its massive group shot aboard the Waverider, and that culmination was my going “wow, lookit that, they really did build something kinda functional out of what they had to work with”. It was a world that was comic book as all hell in the best way, but its own oddball strain made up of recognizable pieces broken off from a larger puzzle and rearranged into a new configuration. Here? From the moment the Monitor chases off 90s Flash on a desperate race from his dead world and the bodies of an army of superheroes to save all creation, into Superman taking his place as a central figure, Batman’s mythology unfurling out of nowhere at a beautifully shameless breakneck pace, the establishment of the Multiverse and Monitor mythology as the base level concept uniting the universe as a whole, and hotlinks to a half-dozen other major mythology elements I’d given up on ever seeing acknowledged, this really and profoundly feels like DC Comics.

SUPERMAN: Still so so good! I will say, this wasn’t nearly as much a breakthrough standout display for Hoechlin’s Clark as his prior Supergirl appearances, with a couple line readings where he’s maybe just a little too chill, and less opportunity to display range or depth given he’s in the back seat. And dude’s gotta practice pretending to be thrown back, however you do that, because that was pretty badly fakey-looking. If this had been his debut, I still would’ve loved him, but he’d be taking up third or fourth on my list of live-action Superman actors rather than sitting pretty at #1; I have to wonder if a lot of his energy simply went to his killer performance as Deegan, or if he’s still modulating his kinda-being-his-real-self-but-also-still-putting-on-the-Supermanness chunk of his performance given it’s with Kara and Lois that he really shines. If someone writes him off as a dime store Reeve though, they’re still wrong and also probably bad. Shoring up his cracks though is Elizabeth Tulloch, who’s already at least vying for a place on the Lois Lane Mount Rushmore. Reminded me heavily of the best of Erica Durance’s take, but with an additional straightforward bluntness that suits Lane incredibly well, and a talent for talking rings around Clark that does more than any other Lois to date to sell the idea that that’s a huge part of what he loves about her. Also she slaps around a mad god with the hammer for the cosmic anvil from All-Star Superman, because if there’s one thing Lois Lane steadfastly refuses to be in the business of, it’s in any way fucking around.

As for the big question: even aside from Tulloch making pretty clear in a recent interview that it’s something producers are talking about, yes, I absolutely think the Superman/Lois chunk of this was as fully intended to act as a backdoor pilot for them as the second act was for Batwoman. I know I’ve been certain on this in the past just as a matter of ‘they can use Superman so it would be foolish not to push that’, but then, well, nothing happened. But here, while the creators are clearly hedging their bets with providing them what could easily be a happily-ever-after, their appearance in this way in this context is bizarrely conspicuous and pointless if that wasn’t what was intended. They’re incidental to the plot (Deegan becoming Superman, while great fun that gives us an interesting new spin on the evil Superman concept, is basically just an aesthetic), the functionality of getting Clark away from National City had already been handled by the season premiere and never actually takes anything more than ‘he’s busy in space/plugging up a volcano/fighting Luthor’ as has already been done in the past, the guest spots and relevant emotional beats could have easily been contained to an episode of Supergirl rather than spilling out into an already stuffed three episodes, and if they could only be used in one crossover for some reason they’d obviously be saved for the next one. And they get a scene to themselves AFTER their role with our leads is wrapped up, with a moment that could have already come off-screen earlier but didn’t, purely to endear them to us in a way that would make us want to see more of them. I’m not saying a Superman show is now guaranteed, but unless there was some bizarre instruction that they suddenly once and for all needed to permanently get rid of him - yet permitted that to be accomplished via the delivery mechanism of more Superman, in a way that’s noted as impermanent in-universe and in a context that’s going to introduce him and Lois and push them as big deals to the maximum possible number of viewers - yeah, I think that’s what the people who made this must have been intending. And that the powers that be let them is incredibly encouraging. As Tulloch said, a lot of this is out of the hands of anyone but corporate, but Elseworlds got season highs so that’s a point in their favor; hopefully Cryer works out as Luthor, because I imagine that’s the other checkmark needing to be crossed off that comes down to the response of the viewership.

Also the proposal was perfect, and I am astonished that happening after the pregnancy was announced got to go through - ‘modern’ indeed, as Cat Grant would put it. I get it’s got precedent of a sort in Superman Returns, but on the other hand, that precedent was Superman Returns. I’m surprised I’m not already seeing thinkpieces on the degradation of American Values coming out of this.

FUCK: 

FUCK.

I really thought there was gonna be one more crossover before they dove all the way in. But nope, nope nope nope, instead by this time next year for-real live action Crisis on Infinite Earths with Flash, Supergirl, Superman, the Monitor, shadow demons, the Psycho Pirate, and assuredly a comprehensive collection of carefully curated cameos from the ghosts of DC TV past will be a thing out there in the world. Marv Wolfman sure must be having a nice day.

And boy, they are not in ANY kind of position to half-ass it. The name value alone would be enough, but if that was it they could at least maybe get away with Dean Cain and Brandon Routh showing up in their old working clothes to help beat up the Anti-Monitor on a cordoned-off Vancouver street, maybe a couple of the Legends folks biting it. But they‘ve been explicitly acknowledging it as a thing they’d build up to for five years, since episode one of their most popular show, and if I’m right and the writing in the book of Destiny was supposed to be the same kind of text that Nora’s writing, they’ve been actively setting up Chekhov’s guns within the shows themselves for at minimum two years. AND they’ve already done three other world-threatening multiversal crossovers, including a classic JLA/JSA-model Crisis, so they’ve already established a threshold of crossover event that this needs to plainly mark itself as an entirely different order of magnitude from, AND they’ve had a threat to the multiverse before in Zoom so just saying that again without really showing it isn’t going to measure up. Hell, the idea of massive status quo changes is reinforced as being just the much of the mission statement of this as the original via Psycho Pirate. They’ve apparently quite knowingly backed themselves into a corner where they actually have to Wreck Shit. At minimum one of the three leads has to die for keeps, and all have the symbolic weight behind them - Oliver included after Elseworlds, and really in the first place as the founder of this DCU - and have obvious enough successor shows waiting in the wings to feel like they’re legitimately in the line of fire.

My hope? One that unlike usual I’m not gonna bolster by drawing on evidence at hand and logical assumptions, but the way I simply feel it Should Go and think at this point has a legitimate chance of being the case? Crisis is its own miniseries in the fall in place of the return of the other four shows, a massive high-budget ensemble piece with room to breathe…and at the end pretty much everyone dies. Most of the Legends, some supporting cast members, and above all Oliver, Barry, and Kara ALL die grandiosely and nobly to save all creation, hidden from the audience successfully by way of a miniseries ‘putting off’ the actually nonexistent renewals of the existing series. Earths 1 and 38 are merged (hopefully without discarding the multiverse as a whole, and with the heroes remembering their pasts), and in the wake of this massive conclusion, the entire DCTV lineup is effectively relaunched. Batwoman comes in here, taking Arrow’s place, while Superman emerges (likely with a psuedo-Rebirth setup since Jon’s on the way - they can figure out a way to get him to the appropriate age) with him dealing with his family and his initial grief, The Flash is relaunched with Wally and/or Nora assuming the mantle, and Legends reconstituting itself, whether by its original title or as Legion of Superheroes or Justice League, with a new lineup made up in large part of the castoffs from the cancelled series. Again, obviously there’s nothing definitely pointing towards this being the case, but somehow it just feels right, especially with Batwoman and Superman shows clearly being gestured towards when Arrow and Supergirl are the shows that would definitely have to end or at least change names with the death of their leads. The strongest evidence against all this, I think, is that Supergirl wouldn’t quite have hit a hundred episodes and syndication yet. Though there may still be that Supergirl movie too, so that’s a factor.

A couple incidental thoughts on that front: 

* Interesting that Flash vanishes in 2024 and is still gone in 2049, but the first crossover - made when ‘Flash vanishes’ was already a keystone mythology element, and given its place at such an important moment you’d think the writers would remember - makes clear there’s an old Barry around in 2056. I could see that coming up. 

* Thawne’s role in this season of Flash feels at this point like it has to dovetail into everything, and I could see him taking up Psycho Pirates’ role in the original story even if the genuine article’s around. 

* I wonder if Jon Cryer’s gonna play Alexander Luthor.

* If Kara and Barry do die, and likely make some post-death appearances, I wouldn’t mind if they for the sake of novelty reverse things so that it’s Kara who comes back for real in Final Crisis, while Barry’s the one who comes from the past unknowingly and tear-inducingly ala Whatever Happened From The Man Of Tomorrow? (that could easily be set up via the “three hardest days of your life” thing Johns did in his Flash run).

* Incidentally, do Final Crisis as the ultimate event the next wave of shows build up to like this was built up to, and make that the end of everything.

* If I’m all wrong about Superman and he’s just being set up as a lamb to the slaughter for Crisis to fill the Supergirl role (which would still by no means require him appearing in Elseworlds, especially given it’s not like he develops a relationship with Barry or Oliver, so I’ll say my points all still stand), I get the impulse is to do him dying in Kara’s arms. But if they do wanna go this way and finish his story, I really, really hope that instead they let him deal at least part of the killing blow and then somehow vanish into ‘Heaven’ with Lois and Jon. If you’re gonna homage a Superman bit from there to close him out, that’s the one to go with.

* If Ezra Miller wasn’t bullshitting and would be willing to put in a little appearance, this is the place.

ASSORTED REACTIONS:

* “Oh Barry, what have you done this time?” Oliver’s wise to your shit, boy. He knows full well he’s pretty much in a ‘Barry fucks up with Flashpoint even further’ meme come to life.

* Barry freaking out that he knows kung fu is a delight, as is Oliver trying so dang hard to do this whole ‘Flash’ thing.

* Knocking out the pair of them is admittedly *a bit much*, but while some might correctly note that they’ve seen so much weird shit they should be able to accept this, I’d say it’d also be fair to note that they’ve seen so much weird shit they’re not wrong to think this is gonna snowball into some bullshit and it’d maybe be simplest to nip it in the bud and get things under control.

* Barry, I’m glad there are toilets in the Pipeline, but someday you’re going to think to ask ‘so Cisco, what are you feeding them down there?’, and then Vibe’s gonna go OH FRAK or some other nerd shit and they’re gonna find 5 seasons worth of corpses to clean up.

* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha they did fuckin’ KGBeast on Arrow. Was that who Dolph Lundgren played? Checking…no. Dang.

* I had heard there was gonna be a Remy Zero shout-out for Smallville, but I assumed someone would just ask for someone to save them or it would be playing on the radio, not that they’d hard swerve from vague orchestral stirrings to pseudo-Nickelback. Loved it.

* Clark’s doin’ Clark stuff and I love it, Lois is doin’ Lois stuff and I love it, she nearly kills the Flash and Green Arrow with a hammer (truly her weapon of choice!) and I love it.

* Oliver pathetically puffing out his chest, WHILE CLARK ISN’T EVEN BEING SUPERMAN, is as good as television gets.

* AMAZO. Aside from basic delight at his existence, I love that the ‘Mirakiru’ ties into the Ivo material I know was in early, pre-superhero Arrow. It’s as if when Smallville got to do Supergirl and Doomsday for real they went ahead and tied them back in to the weird proto versions of them they’d already set up not knowing what they’d be able to do later. Much as Mxyzptlk or Grodd or Muppet Legends (I also caught that shows’ midseason finale, it was delightful) are easy to point to as indicators of how far this universe has come, this underlined that in a very unique way.

* Harsh, Barry - and where did you get those crossbows? - but earned as the Superfamily probably put together when they heard Oliver yelling about how when HE shot Barry he totally had a good reason for it. And along with the sheer, savage power of “I don’t think you can go more than nine hours without some sappy motivational speech”, it sets up Barry’s more understated character arc relative to Oliver in questioning and then reaffirming that his brand of emotional strength is just as strong as what your cowled types draw on. And while Lois obviously had the killer moment, Clark’s little “well, you kinda had that coming” look when Barry floors Oliver is nicely done. Smart money says he was thinkin’ about Bruce.

* Continued into the porch conversation, where the show takes its first real step in rehabilitating CW Green Arrow into a character I may no longer refer to by default as Walmart Batman as the show continues to dunk on him but he begins to take it in stride and realize he’s gonna have to change things up a bit.

* “Cool. Who are you?” “A friend.” So choice. Is that very clearly Williams-evoking musical sting at the end there something that often shows up in Supergirl? And I can’t tell whether’s Clark’s grin is in response to what he’s about to do, or because he’s relishing the hilarity of meeting a normal dude for the first time in his adult life who doesn’t know who Superman is, but either way I love it. And since I found his previous introductory shirt-tear honestly a little sub-par, this was an appreciated moment of redemption.

* Amazo fight rules, obviously. I do like to imagine the headlines the next day mentioning “hey, another superhero teamup happened with Supergirl from that other Earth who helped out with those invasions, and this time a male partner of hers showed up, some kind of…Super-man?” as the one pubic mention of Superman in the history of what’s presented as a ‘main’ DC universe.

* Barry just casually addressing ‘Clark’ by his first name is the first moment where I really thought ‘oh wow, this IS the DC Universe now’. And that “You’re welcome” worked as a reminder where there otherwise wasn’t space that yeah, he’s a nice dude, but maybe don’t tug too hard on his cape.

* Even though it wasn’t overtly followed up on, Barry being reminded that following Oliver’s example as his source of strength isn’t what’s gonna win him the day in the long run in the way that matters is a pretty essential piece.

* Every moment of Total Bat-Bullshit in here was so cheap and I loved it all so much.

* Oliver-dunking takes on its glorious apotheosis here - you know the line I’m thinking of - but it’s a necessary aspect of his journey here.

* Ruby Rose is very good as the charismatic vaguely menacing but easily flirty businesswoman, and again later kicking ass and delivering the growl, which she honestly does better than any live action Batman to this point. Curious to have it elaborated what kind of role she had in Bruce’s operation, given she clearly knew and has her own friggin’ cave.

* And then Barry stands up to Oliver’s demons while Oliver realizes Barry’s.

* “You really do have a lot of tattoos.” Oh my, Kara.

* “You have real steel in you, my friend.” And there you go for Barry’s arc.

* Well, wow. Fan theory bullshit triumphs at last, and now I kind of have to imagine we’re gonna see some actual Lanterns down the line. Hope, likely in vain, we see Hal so he can pal around with them before Oliver and/or Barry bite it.

* Mar Novu, huh? Somea that Final Crisis bullshiiiiit, please do feel free to pursue that further. Mandrakk’s cousin or something I guess?

* That can’t really be the end of the 90s Flash, right? If nothing else, he needs to stick around so that if they decide not to disintegrate Grant Gustin after all he can be the one there to make the death run.

* Episode one: “The darkness…I feel it…it threatens…to…CONSUME me…” Episode three : “oh my GOD Oliver we broke a LAW I’m gonna THROW UP”

* Hoechlin plays the hell out of Scary Dickhead Superman, even if it’s odd that Deegan was defensive about making an arguably sexist choice of identity when he already openly fucking supports eugenics. But an anon asked me about this and suggested this is a top-tier evil Superman, and yeah, I’d agree with that. He’s not scary because’s a mad god, he’s scary because he’s a small, small man who’s lucked his way into being GTA mod Superman, all of the pluses with none of the minuses, all of the ego-assuaging praise and power without having to meaningfully hold up his end of the bargain. It’s an effective twist on Superman as a power fantasy, one that’s scary in a very different way than the idea of it going wrong usually is. Because instead of him letting us down, it’s one of us joining him in the sun and trying to kick him and the rest of us out because it’s all HIS now.

* Oh yeah, of course Superman totally knows about the Book of Destiny. All the REALLY cool superheroes got that that kind of experience in the bag.

* As I said, Supergirl takes a back seat, but Benoist really shines with swaying Alex Danvers - from the moment I saw she’d be in this from the trailer I thought “Kara swaying her can’t be done very believably, it would be convincing her of a whole other life instead of a minor alteration”, but damn if she didn’t sell it.

* I must admit, the Superman V Superman fight is Hoechlin’s low point; him losing the advantage because he’s saving people is perfect, but some of his good-Superman deliveries lack the necessary conviction, and whether due to the animation or his overexagerated tumbling, him getting knocked around the city looks notably fake in parts to an extent that breaks the immersion.

* I guess Superman fought Bizarro at some point, if that concept carried over (I know Supergirl fought a Bizarro too, but if Superman never fought one the average citizen wouldn’t make that comparison). I suppose it’s the Earth-1 Alex Danvers and James Olsen though?

* Similar note: Kara mentions that ‘maybe my pod didn’t make it here’, and given doppelgangers are a thing, it’s been noted there’s a Krypton in each universe, obviously at least one other major superhero carries over in Batman, and the degree of long-term planning clearly going on at this point with the multiverse stuff, I honestly wonder if they might be laying the seeds for something on why Superman and Supergirl never happened on Earth-1.

* I do like that Superman’s technically the one who beats the bad guy flat-out and saves the world from a broken history by sheer force of will, even if he’s not the one with the splashier more permanent win later (and even then he saves Lois).

* Fuck yes. Never liked Superman turning the world backwards, but now entirely worth it for how that shit comes back here in the most gleefully unhinged manner imaginable (even if Mach 7 wiping out Barry and Kara is absurd on the face of it).

* And Oliver comes full circle to realizing he’s no longer the center of his own universe, realizing he can be better while still proving he has it in him to make the hardest call. This dude still ain’t Ollie, but I guess I can acknowledge him as Green Arrow.

* And then it’s all Superman stuff and Crisis, which I discussed, though worth mentioning just how off-guard the Jon confirmation caught me. Thumbs up on that!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 288

So between Episodes 287 and 289, you’ve got this ten year gap, spanning the wish to erase the world’s memories of Buu, to the first appearance of Uub, which marks the epilogue to Dragon Ball Z.     Over the years, there’s been a lot of material created to fill in that “ten year gap.”  The last ten minutes of Episode 287, this episode, Movies 13, 14, and 15, all 131 episodes of Dragon Ball Super and the Dragon Ball Super: Broly movie.  Uh, what else?   That Yo! Son Goku and his Friends Return special.   There was some crossover special with One-Piece and another anime I forget the name of.  Also, both of the Xenoverse games, while set in the future, feature Goku pulled from this general time period.

I can’t blame people for trying to fill in this period with new stories.  The question is whether there’s really a story worth telling at this point.  I like Movies 13 and 14. Movie 15 was okay, but hardly worth the trouble, and Dragon Ball Super didn’t get good until the Tournament of Power, which I wouldn’t call essential viewing.    The action was good, but the story doesn’t hold a candle to classic Dragon Ball and DBZ.

In a lot of ways, Episode 288 is sort of a prototype for a lot of what Dragon Ball Super ended up doing: these slice of life, quiet moments in between the big adventures.  This is mainly because Super had a really hard time cooking up an antagonist worthy of the franchise.   Beerus and Golden Frieza were borrowed from movies, Champa, Hit, and Jiren weren’t really bad guys, and Zamasu was absolutely fucking awful.  When I watched Super, it was honestly a relief to see that the next episode would be the gang screwing around at a basebal field or a movie set or whatever.   At the same time, it was always frustrating to me.   They went out of their way to bring these characters back, and they never seemed to have a plan for what they wanted to do with them.  I’ll watch the Tenchi Muyo! gang hang out in a mall or something, that sounds like a good time.   But Goku?   I expect a little more from him.

In this episode, everyone’s having a party at Bulma’s place, but Goku went off to watch some pterodactyl eggs hatch.   So it’s pretty similar to a number of one-shot DBS episodes, except DBZ hasn’t done this sort of thing very often, so it’s a lot more effective.  

Here’s the problem: One of the four eggs fell out of the nest and is stuck in this precarious-looking branch.    Goku wants to move it back, but the parents won’t let him, and I guess he’s not eager to force the issue with his powers.   He’s worried that the baby will fall once it hatches, so he sticks around to keep an eye on the situation.

Anyway, Chi-Chi got all dolled up for this pary, so she’s decided to just go without Goku’s broke-ass and leave him to his nature hike or whatever.    There needs to be more fan-art of Chi-Chi in this getup.  

If I’m not mistaken, Goten’s outfit in this episode is a callback to the clothes Goku wore in that one episode of the Fortuneteller Baba Saga.   Let me just pull that up...

Eh... close, but not quite.   Goten’s got the tie and the hat, but he’s wearing suspenders instead of a vest. 

Anyway, everyone arrives at Capsule Corp.   Yamcha’s got a new car Bulma had made for him at a discount, and Krillin’s thinking of asking for one of his own.    The Son family shows up and Chi-Chi gets miffed when anyone asks about Goku.   Chi-Chi says he’s waiting for his eggs to hatch.

Anyway, they’ve got a nice spread here.    This looks like the place where all of Dr. Brief’s animals run around, but that seems like a bad place to hold a party, so maybe they have more than one indoor park.  

Anyway, Tien and Krillin have some pizza, and Master Roshi laughs at a “photo album” (it’s porn).

Buu wants Vegeta’s hot dog, and he’s in a good mood so he gives it to him.   I always liked that.  It shows that they managed to get along at some point.     This is the sort of thing Dragon Ball Super should have done.   Buu never got a chance to interact with most of these guys in Z, and they killed him off in GT, so they could have gotten some mileage out of him in Super, but they didn’t.

Chiaotzu drinks exactly half of one soda and leaves.  

Piccolo’s just chillin’ out in a flower bed.    Character arc, complete.

Oh, you thought this was the smug Goku macro?   Tell me again how you didn’t know it was from this scene where Goku reminisces about his grandfather.

I guess the place where his space pod crashed wasn’t too far from this pterodactyl nest.   I’m surrprised the crater grew over so fast.    Also, this is like the third or fourth time they’ve shown this location in Z, and it never looks the same twice.

Anyway, Grandpa Gohan was strict but also very kind, and I always like how Goku remembers him here, as the series is drawing to a close.  

Then a DINOSAUR FIGHT happens, because this show rules! Not sure why the two-legged dinosaur has hippo ears, but okay.   It’s like Toei thought the rights holders for actual dinosaurs would sue them or something.   

This scene also features the Ginyu Force song from the early portion of DBZ.   You know the one.

Thirty-two seconds into this video.    They ran this song into the ground in the Namek Saga, and then slowly weaned themselves off of it in the Frieza Saga, until eventually it fell out of rotation.   I think it got used a couple of times in the Androids/Cell arc, and this might be the first time it’s been used since then.   And you know, it’s a great song when it’s used sparingly.   Once I got used to expecting it in every episode, it got really grating, but here, it works perfectly.    I found myself sort of missing it.   

Anyway, Goku totally in favor of cool dinosaur fights, but he doesn’t want them near this nest, so he carries these rowdy boys to another spot and tells them to fight there.  

But that sort of kills the whole mood, you know?

Never mind that, because it’s TIME TO DANCE.

In the Japanese version, the score uses the rock music Tank Clerk was jamming to in Fusion Reborn.   I guess this is the only rock music in all of Dragon Ball, sort of like how Cold Slither’s music is the only rock music in G.I. Joe or Transformers.

We’re tired of words!   We’ve heard it before!

We’re not gonna play the game no more!

We’re Cold Slither, heavy metal  machine!

Through the eyes of a lizard in you will dream!

When the venom stings, a new order brings our control!

Anyway Chi-Chi rules the disco floor until she throws out her back.   

Then Dende mentions Goku and it brings down the mood.   This is why no one invites you to these things, Dende.  Even Tien thinks you’re a buzzkill and he just spent the last half hour explaining the Haber-Bosch process.   

Bulma is worried about Goku, but Chi-Chi playfully suggests that Bulma is sweet on him, but that’s just too bad, because Chi-Chi’s too pretty for her to steal him away.    Is she drunk?   Maybe, but this is still less awkward than the dub version, where she suggested they trade husbands.   “No, I was only kidding about swinging, Bulma.... UNLESS...”

Back at where Goku is, all these other animals show up to watch the nest, because I guess animals do that in this show.  

Then it rains, and Goku shores up the nest with a bunch of logs.  Not sure how this improves the situation, but okay.

He tries to work on the branch the fourth egg is sitting in, but it falls into the river first.

Goku saves it, but then a fish tries to eat him.

But the egg is okay, so victory for Goku.

Kind of an ominous shot of Capsule Corp.   Looks like something out of Revenge of the Sith.

Everyone’s playing cards, and that looks like a lot of fun.    Well, not if I have to play with Roshi and Oolong.    Take me to the non-sex-offender table, please.

Krillin and his family prepare to head out, but they walk out the door just as Goku shows up.

This part here is great.

Chi-Chi gives him a hard time, but she can’t be too mad, because he does this sort of crap all the time.

So she takes Goku back to where the food is, and Goku gives Gohan the wink like “Yep, life of Riley.”

I almost wonder if they tried to do some sort of Last Supper thing with this, except they couldn’t fit everyone into the shot on a 4:3 TV.    Anyway, Goku explains how things turned out with the pterodactyls.

They all hatched.   Don’t really know what else to add to that.  Weird how some of these animals watching were causing trouble earlier.   That snake tried to eat the eggs until Goku tosses it away.

Goten asks if he was cuter than the pterodactyls when he was born, and Goku explains that he was dead when Goten was born, so he doesn’t know.   Awkward.

Then he invites Vegeta to come over and join them, because he’s sulking over by the window.   

i think Vegeta’s just enjoying this vaporwave sunset outside, but okay,

Then the narrator observes that everyone just has more fun when Goku’s around, which, true, but this is the sort of lionizing of Goku that made GT really irritating.  

Then the Looney Tunes thing happens to him and that’s all, folks.  

[mohini-musing]

A blindness that touches perfection

Chasing Ghosts universe, set not long after Tasha reentered James’ life

Tasha’s reappearance in his life in a lecture hall brought the two halves of his existence into conflict, a Venn diagram melding slowly together - the before and the after stretching out to meet, converge, and the confluence of those two parts of him would either be his undoing or salvation.

Now here they are three weeks into the semester in his living room, hunched over a cheap coffee table and assembling what he can only think of as atomic model tinker toys in preparation for an exam he’ll be happy to scape a pass out of.

Her hand is trembling as she reaches for the little colored baubles, meticulously constructing a representation of the compounds they have to deal with for this unit. Organic chemistry should have come with a warning about this particular endeavor for those lacking in all original parts, James muses, before he registers that the tremor is making it impossible for her to connect the little sphere to the corresponding cylinder.

“Tash?” he asks, voice low enough to be barely heard. The startle his question evokes scatters plastic atomic model pieces all over the carpet, and she curses before looking up at him.

“Dammit.”

The word is more hiss than anything, and he clenches his fist to keep from reaching out to her.

She presses balled up hands hard against her eyes, chest heaving as a gasping breath whistles through gritted teeth.

He wants to grab her, pull her across the space that divides them and hold her close. He wants to ask her what is going on, but he waits. Tasha hits harder than half the guys he fought alongside in the desert. Provoking her is a bad choice in the best of moments and right now it’s a particularly ill advised one. Long seconds pass before she looks up with red, watery eyes.

Her face contorts in what he supposes she intends to be a smile. It’s all teeth and no joy; lips chapped beneath perfectly applied stain. Deeply wired training makes every tiny detail stand out, each small tell seared into his consciousness and igniting instincts he thought he left behind in a home where every door held secrets and every utterance subtext he didn’t care to read.

“I hope you don’t think you’re getting out of telling me what that’s about,” he tells her dryly. Tasha doesn’t go for coddling. Better to be direct and hope for the closest thing to truth. She’s too good a liar to give him the actual thing, but he stands a decent chance at getting a shade of it.

“Give me my bag.”

He obeys, reaching behind him for her small canvas pack. There’s the rattle of a couple different plastic vials within as she rummages and withdraws a hand clutching a brightly labelled bottle. It promises magical fat burning and appetite suppression.

“Tasha,” he begins, his lips moving before his brain engages. No one on the planet needs to lose weight less than the girl in front of him. She’s always been thin, but this new version of his former baby sister is all sharp angles.

“Shut it,” she interrupts.

Spindly fingers dig a couple beige capsules from the bottle and she knocks them back without so much as a glance at him. Her throat works a couple times to get them down before she shakes her head one quick jerk and drops the bottle back into the depths of her bag.

She doesn’t look up when she speaks.

“It’s not like it’s cocaine.”  

He doesn’t know why he still has her micro-expressions embedded in his brain, but right now it’s immensely helpful. She’s biting at the center of her lips, but the set of her forehead tells him it’s not nervousness. It’s searching for a believable lie.

“And we both know how safe you are with that,” James shoots back when the silence stretches a little too long.

“I’m not a fucking child.” The petulant look she gives him almost makes him regret the words. Almost.

“You never were. What’s up with the not cocaine, then?”

“Hangover,” she mutters.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I have a fucking hangover. I don’t have time for a fucking hangover, so I’m drugging up and moving on. I presume you’re familiar with the concept?”

Now that he looks closely, her eyes are a little bit on the glassy side. He’s wired to think of her as perpetually a little bit buzzed, though, so it hadn’t been noticeable as anything worthy of further study. He doesn’t know where he stands, what the boundaries are right now. Years ago, he knew her as well as he knew himself. Now she’s as good as a stranger, while also being absolutely his baby sister.

“You have a hangover, which means you’re dehydrated, and you’re popping amphetamines?”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious, for that astute contribution,” she snarks back.

He resists the urge to snap at her, to tell her she’s being an idiot. Instead, he heads to the fridge, grabs a bottle of Gatorade, and passes it to her. She takes it without a sound, twisting off the orange lid and downing most of the contents in a few long draughts.

“Why do you have a hangover on a Tuesday night?” he asks her. Even as the words pass his lips, he sees the problem. She’s going to hear accusation, and she’s bound to shut down hard. He hears the word on a ghost of a memory – incoming.

It’s not a projectile heading his way or a kid with a gun bigger than his arms. But it’s no less hard to witness. Tasha’s face transforms into marble, cold, hard, empty.

“I don’t have to answer that.” The words hold no inflection but they are true. She doesn’t. She has no obligation to him or anyone else to explain the hows and whys of what she does to her body. It doesn’t stop him wanting her to offer them, but it does keep his lips closed and the rest of the questions unasked.

Are you drinking every day? How much? Are you sleeping? Well? Food? Are you safe? – All the things he wants to know and can’t badger her with. Pushing too hard is a recipe for being shut out entirely. Failing to push tells her he doesn’t give a fuck. Tasha’s an expert at subtext, skilled enough that she can find it where it doesn’t exist. Every time.

“Point,” he says instead, before kneeling at the floor and gathering the model components and placing them back in front of her. It’s message enough that he’s heard her, that he’s giving her space to say what she’s ready for, and to keep her silence if she isn’t. He’ll keep the electrolyte drinks coming, stick a bottle of Motrin on the counter, and wait until she’s ready to explain. Patience has never been his virtue, but tactical planning – that’s a thing he knows well. Tasha is often best approached as a mission with unclear parameters. He has plenty of experience with those.

They’ve put together a half dozen more compounds when she stands, walking with long strides down the hall and hitting the rug before the toilet with a soft thump of knees on shaggy discount store fluff. He hears her cough a few times before the Gatorade makes its reappearance. Going to her and rubbing her back, holding her curls, offering comfort, all of those options filter through his mind and are discarded. He was on her path from the room. If she wanted him, she would have grabbed his hand and pulled him along. It was always her way as a child and so little else has changed he can’t imagine that has either.

The toilet flushes a third time before stumbling footsteps announce her return. Her face is a sickly grey, a vague flush beneath prominent cheekbones. He pats the space next to him and she drops into it, knees drawn to her chest as she slips sideways against what is now only some of an arm. A moment of alarm as he wonders if she’s going to be upset by the prosthetic. She doesn’t stare at the glove on his hand the way most people do, but that’s a far cry from cuddling metal and silicone.

A tiny sniffle pulls him from his insecurities. Tasha doesn’t do tears. Except she’s going to now. She plops her head onto his shoulder and he reacts on instinct, curling her into his body and wrapping his arms around in the embrace they knew as kids. She’s boneless, her trembling form going where he guides as he holds on for all he’s worth. She’s not crying, exactly. More like leaking saltwater from clenched eyelids while her breath forces warmth through the fabric of his shirt in shallow gasps. Regardless, he begins the litany he learned in another world.

“Just breathe,” he tells her. It’s all the comfort she’s ever allowed. He could tell her she’s not alone, that she’s safe, that he’s got her, but none of those have ever helped. Simple orders, direct but gentle, those are the way to go when Tasha needs whatever it is she needs right now.

“I have a new caseworker,” she whispers when her body has stilled. “She called me darlin.”

They’ve never really discussed specifics of what happened to Tash before she turned up in the group care home. James does know that there are words, phrases, snippets of everyday life that send her hurtling back to places she’ll do terrible things to herself to stop seeing.

“How long?”

“First visit was yesterday morning,” she murmurs. “I started drinking when she left.”

James doesn’t need to ask how much she had. He can’t smell alcohol on her so she must have had little enough to not leach it through her pores. That doesn’t rule out an exceptional amount consumed, but it does mean that it’s not a habit, not in a way that he needs to worry for her safety. He’s no idiot. Tasha needs her vices the way other people need oxygen. For now, he can trust that she’s hungover on a Tuesday evening but that she’s safe enough in her skin.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

The Experiment

Peter Parker agrees to help Black Widow test a new device. When he gets stuck, some of his fellow Avengers decide to have some fun. Post Infinity War so SPOILERS!!

Word count: 6,713

“Hey kid, how strong are you?”

Peter blinked and looked up from his homework, which was strewn across the coffee table in a chaotic jumble. “Who, me?”

“No, the other kid sitting criss-cross on the floor eating three orders of In-and-Out french fries.”

The teen smiled shyly, licking the salt from his fingers. “Oh, right. Well, um, strong? Yeah, I’m pretty strong.”

It was a long weekend. After a lot of begging and bribing, May had agreed to let him spend it at the Avengers compound. It actually took less convincing than Peter had expected, seeing how May had doubled down on strictness ever since her nephew’s impromptu field trip to space and the catastrophic fallout that had come to pass. Now that everything was back to normal, everyone seemed a lot more tense and protective. It took weeks before she let him go back to his evening patrols. But when he brought up Mr. Stark’s invitation to stay at the upstate facility for a few days, insisting that he’d get all his homework done and do the dishes for the next month, May had voiced her approval surprisingly readily. Maybe she was sick of having him cooped up in the house with her for so long: school had been canceled for a spell as the world tried to piece itself back together.

Or maybe she’d noticed how shaken the experience had left Peter, and she thought the weekend getaway might help cheer him up a little. If he was being honest with himself, Peter still wasn’t fully recovered from the whole ‘dying then coming back to life’ ordeal, and he felt like he’d never be back to his old self again.

But he refused to let anything spoil this trip for him. Because he was at the Avengers facility. Training, studying, and hanging with the Avengers for an entire three days. He could hardly contain his excitement.

“On a scale from Tony Stark sans suit to the Hulk, how strong would you say you are?”

“Hey,” Tony groused from the opposite side of the room. He shot a glare over his shoulder before turning back to the dizzying screen of 3D displays in front of him, which his fingers danced across like keys on a piano. “Why you gotta do me like that, Romanoff? I’m strong. I lift. I drink protein shakes and wheat grass and all that shit.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. Peter giggled.

“I would guess I’m somewhere between Captain America and the Hulk. Probably closer to Cap. Definitely below Thor.”

“You think you’re stronger than Steve?” Natasha asked. He was expecting judgement, but her tone carried an air of curiosity instead.

“Only because I was able to hold an entire ferry together,” he said. He glanced at Stark and lowered his voice. “And I sorta lifted an entire building off myself.”

“Really?” Natasha mused. “Well, in that case, I’d say you’re the perfect candidate.”

Spider-Man frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Candidate? For what?”

“Stark, you mind if I borrow the kid for a minute?”

Tony waved his hand in acknowledgement, murmuring under his breath as he continued to work. Peter hadn’t seen the man this busy since he’d gone about sorting through the complicated situation between Secretary Ross’ government agenda and the newly-reformed Avengers. Now, nano-tech was the word that kept popping up time and time again. He had no idea how his mentor could possibly make his Iron Man armors any cooler than they already were, yet he always found a way to make it so.

“Sweet,” Natasha said, taking the young hero by the wrist. “Come on, this way.”

Peter Parker had to admit: he was a little scared of Black Widow. He’d seen her fight, he knew her rep, and in her presence he always felt a bit uneasy, like she could break his neck at any moment and he’d never see it coming. Not that he expected she would—in general, Ms. Romanoff was nice to him. Certainly nicer than Sam or Dr. Strange, who never missed a chance to poke fun at him due his age, his height, or anything else they decided to find amusing at the time. Of course, Peter always had a witty comeback to counter with, and he knew deep down they didn’t actually hate him. At least, he hoped not.

But Natasha was close to impossible to get any kind of read on. She could seem very kind and relaxed one minute then serious and deadly the next. And no matter what she was doing, it always felt liked she had a secret ulterior motive at play, one that Peter could never guess.

She brought him to the next floor down. The elevator opened to large lab, which was packed with all sorts of machines, equipment, vehicles, and weapons. Most of them were covered by sheets and blanketed in a thick layer of dust, as if they hadn’t been touched in years. Others looked like they’d just been used, and some of the large machines were currently hard at work, creaking and grinding with progress.

“Wow,” Peter said. “What is this place?”

“Storage unit for all of the Avengers’ new tech,” she replied, stepping through the doors and on to stained concrete. “Some of its ancient, outdated. Lots of old Stark tech. We get new loads from S.H.I.E.L.D. every week.”

Peter followed, gazing around in awe. He trailed his fingers along the rows and rows of tarps, squinting to try to see what treasures lied hidden underneath. His touch caused one of the sheets to slip off to one side, and he froze in place.

“No way,” he gawked. He reached out and pressed his hand to the cold metal. “No freaking way! Is that—is this—Mr. Stark’s Hulkbuster armor? The giant Iron Man suit he used to stop Dr. Banner when he went crazy in South Africa?”

Natasha smiled at his childlike giddiness. “Yes, it is. Just the helmet, though. The rest is still under repairs after the fight in Wakanda.”

Peter squished his face against the dim lens and cupped his hands around his eyes. “This is so cool! I bet it’s like being inside a Transformer, or one of those huge Pacific Rim Jaeger things!”

“Probably,” she said, turning around to stifle a laugh. Geez—no wonder Stark was so destroyed after losing this kid. She pushed a lock of hair out of her face. “But that’s not the tech I brought you down here for.”

Spider-Man glanced up eagerly. “Which one? Am I gonna get to test some of the weapons in here? Is there, like, a strength-tester type machine or something?” For an instant, his excitement deflated. “Wait. You didn’t bring me down here just to make me move stuff, did you? Is that why you asked how strong I am? Because you want me to carry a bunch of heavy things around? I mean, I’m not saying no, I was just kinda hoping—”

“I’m not making you move things,” she assured him. She walked across the room to a counter that housed a wide assortment of tiny devices. She grabbed one from the line and tossed it to the ground where it materialized into a new shape in an instant, expanding like a high-tech version of those capsules you leave in water that grow into colorful dinosaurs. She nodded towards it. “I need you to help me test this thing out.”

Peter grinned and ran to her side. He skidded to a stop and beamed at the strange contraption. To his surprise, it looked like nothing more than flat, metal, slightly slanted table. A wrinkle formed along his brow as he tried to understand what the big deal was.

“A…table?” he said bemusedly. He poked at it, expecting it to grow legs or something. “What are we testing? How many cups I can stack on it before everything falls?”

“It’s from Wakanda,” she explained. “It’s made of vibranium.”

Spider-Man’s eyes widened. “Whoa, seriously? Like, the stuff Cap’s shield is made of?”

“Yes. Which means it’s hella expensive, so if it doesn’t work, I’m gonna be pissed.”

“What does it do?” he asked.

Natasha leaned against it with both hands. “It’s supposed to be able to completely immobilize enhanced individuals. In a situation where someone like you or Thor or an enemy possessing superhuman strength needs to be restrained in order to keep others safe, this thing can stop them in an instant and hold them for as long as we need.” She turned back to him and crossed her arms over her chest. “Sure would’ve been nice to have something like this back when we were fighting those alien freaks.”

Peter stared at her then back at the table. “So…it’s like…a cage…?”

“In a sense. It’s more like an instant straight-jacketing machine. Here, let me show you.”

She grabbed him by the shoulders and moved him to the open space in the center of the room. He stumbled awkwardly over his feet until she had him place, feeling a little silly. Pulling two small beads from her belt, Natasha walked towards the back wall to stand opposite of him. She stopped when there was about twenty feet of space between them.

“All right, so let’s pretend we’re fighting.” She rolled the pair of beads between her fingers. “You’re an evil murderous alien monster with super strength. I’m the heroic Avenger who needs to stop you.” She coaxed him forward with a twitch of her hand. “Now, run at me like you’re going to attack me.”

Peter had no idea where this was going. He was a little afraid, but also incredibly curious. He swallowed his fear, then balled his hands into fists at his side.

“Um, okay. If you say so.”

Without allowing himself to think on it longer, Spider-Man charged. He didn’t know what she expected him to do once he reached her. Fortunately or not, he didn’t get the chance to find out. Before he had cleared ten feet, Natasha flung the beads at him. They split in half mid-air, then zipped towards him as tiny streaks of light. Peter was startled when he felt both of his wrists and ankles get hit with something. He staggered to a stop, staring down at his hands to find thick metal cuffs latched around both arms. They weren't attached by a chain or anything—they were just stuck there, like two heavy bracelets. He looked to Natasha with a scowl.

“Wait, what the hell are—?”

A beep sounded from what appeared to be a watch she was wearing. She had her thumb against a button in the center. Instantly, Peter was yanked sideways by the metal clasps. He yelped in surprise. He didn’t even have time to register what was happening before his back collided with a cold, smooth surface, and he found himself staring up at the ceiling, stunned.

“W-what the—?” Spider-Man tried to lift his arms, but they were pinned down by the metal wristbands. His legs, too, had succumbed to the same fate: arrested flat and completely immobile. Two bands of silvery-looking material shot out from underneath both of his shoulders and stretched across his collarbone, connecting in the middle of his chest to form a belt that restrained him even more than he already was. The same restrictive bands also formed around both of his knees. It took him a few moments to register that he was stuck to the vibranium table that had looked so innocuous only minutes ago, and he could barely move.

“M-Ms. Romanoff?” he called out fearfully. He strained to lift his head, which was about the only movement he was capable of. His terror subsided a little when she stepped into his narrow frame of view, looking just as surprised as he was.

“Holy crap. That was…wow.” She stared down at her watch, which Peter concluded was some kind of controller for the restraining device. “Those are some seriously strong magnets.”

“Is it working? I mean, is this what it’s supposed to be doing?” He squirmed and shifted as much as he could. He wasn’t prone to claustrophobia, but being rendered so completely incapable of moving definitely rubbed him the wrong way.

“Yep. Perfectly. It’s designed to rapidly capture and contain opponents. It’s amazing how they manage to fit so much stuff inside such a tiny container.” She held out the device on her wrist as she spoke. “The base plate can shrink or grow to accommodate different kinds of combatants, from Antman-sized to up to twenty by twenty feet. It also has different levels of containment for more powerful enemies.”

Peter nodded, trying his best to look relaxed. “That’s—yeah, that’s really impressive. For sure.” He attempted to shrug, but even that was beyond his ability. “Seems a bit overkill, though, don’t you think?”

“There’s no such thing as overkill when it comes to protecting the world from aliens, kiddo.” She clicked a few of the buttons on her wrist controller. “I could set it so that you’re entire body is electrified stiff, or where every joint and tendon have their own personal restraints. The highest setting is essentially that scene from Star Wars where Han Solo gets stuck in carbonite, except with vibranium.”

“Really?” Peter beamed. “From The Empire Strikes Back? That’s actually possible? That’s insane!” Then he winced, flexing his fingers nervously. “But, um, please don’t do that to me.”

“I won’t,” Natasha said. “All I need for you to do now is to try your hardest to break out.”

The teen blinked. “Break out?”

“Shuri claimed that on the lowest security setting, not even the Hulk should be able to escape. In the event I need to use this thing in the future, I want to make sure that’s true. But since Bruce is still having trouble ‘hulking out’ and Thor would probably end up short-circuiting the whole mechanism, I figured you’d be the best test subject.” She gestured towards him with a wave of her hand. “So, whenever you’re ready.”

“Just…go crazy? Like an animal caught in a trap?”

She shrugged. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

Scoffing, Peter turned to look at the ceiling. “Okay. I’ll, uh, do my best.”

And he did. Peter summoned every ounce of his spider strength to try to break free of the bonds, straining and wrenching and twisting with all his might. He even tried getting his fingers around the cuffs and bending the metal so he could wriggle his way out. All of his efforts were to no avail. The vibranium restraints had him beat. He was stuck. Knowing that Shuri had designed the device, it didn’t exactly surprise him.

“So I guess that means it works,” Peter concluded, panting softly. “Yay.”

“It’s a very sturdy contraption,” Natasha agreed. “It should come in handy in the future.”

Spider-Man bit the inside of his cheek. “So, um, does that mean I can get out now? Or are there other things you need help with?”

“No, that’s it. Just give me a second. I need to write something down.”

Peter nodded, and she walked back to the counter, tapping at one of the screens. He rested against the metal table, more than ready to be able to move freely again.

A moment later, the elevator at the back of the room dinged and opened. As the person entered the lab, it took Peter a second to determine their identity from his unconventional position. The figure stopped when he saw him, furrowing his brow.

“Peter? Is that you?” Sam glanced to his right. “Uh, Nat? What’s going on here?”

“Science experiment,” she replied, not looking up.

“We’re testing to see if I can break out of this restraining thingy with my super strength!” Peter said enthusiastically. “It’s supposed to catch bad guys who have enhanced abilities and whatnot.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Can you?”

The young hero pouted. “No. But it’s made of vibranium, and it’s meant to stop people as strong as the Hulk, so…”

Sam walked to stand beside him, placing his hands on his hips. “Huh. Interesting.”

“All right, all done,” Nat said. She trekked across the room with her wrist held to her eyes. “Ready to be free?”

“Yes please,” Peter said sheepishly. But before she clicked the release button, Sam held up his hand.

“Hold on, Romanoff,” he said. His lips twitched into the tiniest sliver of a smile. “How exactly were you testing to see if he could break out?”

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean? I just told him to try to escape, and he couldn’t.”

“But that’s so unrealistic,” Sam insisted. “If you had a bad guy trapped in that thing, they would be fighting to get out like their life depended on it. He’s got no incentive to escape.”

Peter shifted against the restraints. “I mean, I am pretty uncomfortable. And my pride’s a little hurt that I wasn’t strong enough to get out.”

Sam shook his head, clearly unconvinced. “Uh-uh. If you really want to test this contraption’s integrity, you’ll have to give the kid a compelling reason to escape.”

“Like ice cream?” he suggested a little too quickly. When Sam snorted and rolled his eyes, he faked a cough. “I mean, um, a steak? Two steaks. And a cold brandy on ice.”

“Go ahead and try if you want,” Natasha told him. “But I seriously doubt there’s any way he’s getting out of this thing on his own. Even with ice cream on the line.”

Sam laid his hands on the metal table. A smirk pulled at the corners of his lips, like he knew something that nobody else did. “Well, that wasn’t really the type of incentive I had in mind, Romanoff. You’re suggesting we give him an award for escaping, which is one way to go about this. But I think punishing him for not getting out would be much more effective.”

Peter frowned. “Punish me? How? Isn’t being stuck in this thing already punishment enough?”

Sam drummed his fingers against the table. Peter could feel the short vibrations humming against his back.

“I’ve got one idea in mind,” he said, raising his hand over Peter’s midsection. “Are you ticklish, kid?”

The question took him by surprise. It was not something that came up in casual conversation. He wondered why Sam thought the information was pertinent to the experiment, until he realized what this was leading to. His first instinct was to guard himself, because experience had taught him that no matter what answer you gave in response, you were going to get tickled. But his wrists simply strained against the clasps. His arms were locked in place, splayed out at both of his sides. His feet and legs were firmly glued to the table. He hadn’t expected anyone to take advantage of the helpless situation Ms. Romanoff had placed him in, so he hadn’t even considered just how vulnerable he was in his current state. Until now.

Peter’s ears went red.

“I—um—I don’t—w-why—”

Those were the only words he got out before a finger poked him in the belly. A high-pitched squeak jumped from his throat before he could stop it. The grin that overtook Sam’s features made him want to die.

“Oh, so you are,” he said mischievously. Peter’s face flushed four different shades of pink in a matter of seconds. “In that case, this ought to give you a very big incentive to escape, don’t you think?”

“W-wahahait!” Peter stammered. Sam had literally touched him once, but knowing what was about to come was filling him with so much anxiety that he couldn’t contain the laughter already seeping into his voice. He pulled against the cuffs as hard as he could, but he knew it was hopeless. “I—I can’t get out! It’s impossible!”

“Aw, come on now, Spider-ling,” Sam said, swirling his finger just above his stomach. “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. I know you can do this. I believe in you. All you need is a little motivation.”

With that, Sam started poking his belly with both index fingers, moving up and down his torso with teasingly casual movements. Within seconds, Peter was reduced to a helpless bundle of giggles, recoiling at every touch as much as the restraints would allow. Peter had been tickled before, so he knew he was pretty sensitive, but never like this. Being unable to defend himself made it a hundred billion times worse than all the times Uncle Ben had pinned him to the bed when he was little, or when May would trap him in the corner of the couch and tickle his neck with her fiendish nails. Here, stuck inside an inescapable restraint machine, there was nothing he could do but laugh himself into a frenzy.

“Nohoho! Plehehease!” the teen begged. Sam only grinned wider.

“Are you kidding? I’m barely even touching you.” Suddenly, all ten of Sam’s fingers convened on his stomach at once and began to scribble all over mid-section. “Now, if I was doing something like this—yeah, that would make sense.”

If Peter was able, he’d be thrashing all over the place, kicking his legs and hugging his arms around his body. Instead, the only thing he could do was desperately try to angle himself away from Sam’s merciless fingers. To his dismay, his efforts did nothing to dampen the onslaught of tickles, and his light giggling transformed into heavy, uncontrollable laughter that racked his entire frame. Off to the side, Natasha watched the poor kid amusedly. Not even she could deny how adorable he was.

“Ms. Rohohmahahanoff!” Peter squealed, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his face against the table. “Hehahahehehelp!”

Sam looked up from Peter without slowing his attack. “Yeah, Ms. Romanoff. Why don’t you help? I could use a hand over here.”

Natasha hinted a smile. “That’s okay. I think you’re doing just fine on your own.” She snagged a can of beer from the fridge in the cabinet and cracked it open. “But keep it up. I think it’s working.”

“You know what? I think you’re right.” He leaned towards the kid’s bright red face, tickling every inch of his tummy. “You hear that, Spidey? Nat believes in you too. Just try a little harder, and you’ll be out of here in no time!”

“Shuhuhahat up!” Peter laughed. “Y-you—you—ahahahahasshole!”

Sam stuck his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “What was that?” he said threateningly, grinning from ear to ear. He moved his hands down to Peter’s sides. “What did you just call me?” He started kneading his thumbs into the kid’s hipbones, going faster and faster with every passing second. “No, go ahead. Say it again. I dare you.”

Poor little Peter began to shriek with giggles. Clearly name-calling in his defenseless position was not a wise idea. Sam couldn’t help but chuckle at how high-pitched and childlike the young hero’s laughter was. He was too cute for his own good.

“Is someone dying in here?” a voice called from across the room. Sam turned to see Clint Barton standing at the foot of the stairs, furrowing his brow.

“Oh, hey B,” he greeted him. “Naw, no one’s dying. I’m just trying to motivate the kid to get out of this device on his own. He’s got really bad self-esteem issues.”

The archer strolled over to the metal table where Spider-Man lied. He was relieved to find that the noise he was hearing wasn’t from a murder scene, but instead the shrill, happy laughter of a ticklish teenager. He smiled and shook his head.

“Aw, buddy, what are they doing to you? Is the big, mean Falcon bullying you?”

Peter squirmed and squealed, knowing well there was no point in asking Hawkeye for help. Despite being a father, the master assassin was not very keen to pity, especially when it came to Spider-Man. He tended to lean towards the Sam and Strange side of the spectrum when it came to interacting with the younger hero. And from the smug grin plastered on his face as he watched Peter laugh helplessly, he assumed that wasn’t changing any time soon.

Nonetheless, groveling was pretty much his only option.

“Hehehehelp! Hehehehehelp me! Plehehehease!” Sam’s cruel, wiggly fingers never gave his ticklish tummy a break. “Ohoho my gahahahad! I can’t—I cahahahahan’t!”

“See? What did I tell yah? All he keeps saying is ‘I can’t do it’ and ‘it’s impossible!’ Even though he knows Nat and I both believe in him, he still doubts himself. Isn’t that heartbreaking?”

“Truly,” Clint agreed. To Peter’s horror, he felt a single fingertip start twitching against his left armpit. “Maybe he needs just a little more encouragement to give him that final push.”

“Maybe,” Sam concurred, smirking. Another finger found his right armpit, and Peter fell to pieces.

“Nonononohohohoho!” he pleaded piteously. “I can’t—I cahahan’t—I can’t!”

“Does Petey have ticklish underarms?” Clint teased, brushing his fingernails up and down the sensitive skin. Try as he might to guard himself, Peter was defenseless against the second layer of torment.

“Ahahahahaha!” he screeched. “Nohohohohahaha! Stahahahap!”

Clint smiled. “Hmm. I’d say he does.” He switched to digging all ten fingers into the hollows of each pit, the kid’s loud and giggly protests quickly teaching him which techniques were most effective and where his most ticklish spots were located. He knew applying his experience as an highly skilled interrogator to tormenting an innocent kid was a little harsh, but Peter’s laughter was so adorable and uplifting, all he wanted was to make more of it. One person tickling his vulnerable body was bad enough, but Peter was certain that two would kill him. Starting from wrists, Barton scuttled his fingers all the way down the teen’s arms, pausing just above his pits to build anticipation.

“Damn, you’re really making him squirm,” Sam chuckled, watching the poor kid crumble beneath Clint’s upper body attack. He continued to squeeze and pinch Peter’s sides and hips. The way he twitched from his every touch was amusing. “How are you going to survive as an Avenger if you can’t even take a little tickling, Pete? What if your nemeses find out your weakness and you spill all of our secrets to them?” He noticed Peter’s shirt had hiked up a little from his constant twisting and shifting, and a very evil idea popped into his head. He slipped his fingers underneath the material and started spidering his nails against his bare stomach. “One way or another, they always figure out how to get under your skin.”

Immediately, Peter’s laughter jumped three octaves and several decibels higher. “NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He threw his head back and arched his spine against the table. “STOHOHAHAHAP! STAHAHAP IT!”

“Uh-oh,” Clint giggled. “You’re in for it now.”

Ten deadly fingertips moved freely over his tummy, exploring every inch of the soft, unbearably ticklish skin. They dragged up and down his sides, clawed at his midriff, and drew ruthless circles round and round his sensitive bellybutton. And all Peter could do was laugh and laugh, balling his hands into fists against the table.

“What does that feel like?” Sam asked him. “Like a bunch of itsy-bitsy spiders? Crawling all over the itsy-bitsy Spider-Man’s belly?”  

“PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” he cried. “NOHOHO MORE! NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!”

“Hang on, I want to try something,” Clint said, taking his hands off his underarms for an instant. Sam’s fingers gave his tummy a moment’s break, and Peter thought he might faint from relief. “I always do this to Cooper whenever he’s being a little punk.”

Peter didn’t even register Barton moving from the head of the table to the middle. He was too busy relishing in the feeling of not having twenty fingers simultaneously digging into his most sensitive areas. He didn’t think there was any better feeling in the entire world.

“P-please, hehe…” he giggled weakly, fighting to catch his breath. “Just…just gimme a minute…”

Not even three seconds later, Clint lifted up Peter’s shirt, wrapped his hands around both sides of his torso, and blew the biggest, longest, most insufferable raspberry directly into the kid’s exposed belly. The sound that left Peter’s throat the moment Barton made contact was less like a laugh and more like a scream.

Natasha glanced at the kid and shook her head with a chuckle. “You guys are so mean.”

While kneading his fingers into his sides and hips, Clint assaulted the kid’s tummy with raspberry after merciless raspberry. Peter bucked and shrieked, whipping his head from side to side.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!”

After six in a row, Barton smiled down at the puddle of laughter that used to be Peter Parker. “What do you say? Are you motivated yet? You almost ready to break out of this thing?”

Peter had hoped after so much tickling his body would start to get used to it, but no. It seemed as time went on, his skin only became more sensitive to every poke and touch that came his way. Which meant with each passing minute, the increasing intensity of the tickling was driving him that much crazier. This was not at all how he’d expected his weekend with the Avengers to go. He cringed beneath the fingers scratching and stroking his defenseless tummy, bubbling with laughter.

“What’s the matter? I’m just giving you a belly rub. Like you’re a puppy. A teeny-tiny spider-puppy. I thought puppy’s loved getting belly rubs. Don’t they?”

He scribbled his nails up and down his entire midsection. While Clint was busy teasing his tummy, Peter felt someone pull both of his shoes off.

“Maybe we need to try something new,” Sam suggested. “Maybe we need to give his arms and his legs a compelling reason to get out.”

“WAHAHAHAIT!” Peter squealed, but it was no use. Sam held his foot still with one hand and started tickling it with the other, skittering his fingers along the sides tracing the arch from ball to heel. Peter tried so hard to kick himself free. The vibranium restraints were too strong.

“I feel like most people are just ticklish in some places,” Sam chuckled, watching the kid twist and twitch and giggle as he viciously strummed his nails against the center of his foot, as if he were playing a guitar. “But you, my friend, are ticklish all over. I think there’s something biological at work there. Maybe you should see a doctor.” He peeled back Peter’s scrunched-up toes and started worming his fingers between every single one, making sure no piggies were left out of the tickle attack. Once he’d finished tormenting that foot, he switched to the other one, starting the entire cruel process all over again.

“I’M GOHOHOHONNA DIHIHIHIHIHIE!” he cried shrilly. “P-PLEHEHEHEHEASE STOHOHAHAHAHAHOP!”

“Who’s going to die?” Steve Rogers asked. He and Rhodes descended the stairs into view. They’re faces were clouded with concern.

“Peter,” Natasha said, pointing. “They’re tickling him to death.”

Cap glanced at the laughing, beat-red kid sprawled across the table. Sam and Clint were teamed up on the helpless teen, kneading his sides and tickling his feet. Steve pulled his phone from his belt and frowned.

“Then why did you text us ‘come 2 basement if u need a pick-me-up’?”

Natasha smiled and shrugged. “Because his laughter is probably the most contagious thing in the entire world.”

A moment later, Tony Stark appeared behind them, standing on his tip-toes to see over Cap’s shoulder. “What pick-me-up, Romanoff? Did my tanning bed finally come in?”

Sam winced. “Uh-oh. Daddy’s here.”

Steve stepped to the side to let him pass, masking a smile. “I think they’re bullying your kid, Stark.”

Tony glanced across the lab and spotted Peter between Barton and Sam. The sound of wild, high-pitched laughter met his ears.

Once he realized his only potential savior was in the room, Peter abandoned any dignity he had left. “M-MIHIHISTER—AHAHAHAHAHA!” the teen screeched. “MR. STAHAHARK, HELP!”

Tony jogged to his side, and Sam and Clint stopped tickling him, sharing a nervous look. He stared down at his poor little mentee, strapped to a table like an asylum patient, red as a tomato, panting and wheezing and giggling all at the same time. He looked so small and exhausted and desperate, like he’d do anything to be free. Stark felt pity swell in his chest for the hapless teen. But in a way, the kid also appeared…happy. He knew it was artificial, that it was a happiness being completely forced upon him. And yet, ever since Peter had returned to the world after disintegrating into dust in his arms, the smile that normally occupied his face at all hours of the day had become noticeably absent. He was quieter, more distant, less excitable. After everything he’d gone through, it was a lot harder to make the kid laugh.

Tony lifted his gaze to the group of people in the lab, honing in on Sam and Clint. A deep wrinkle formed between his eyebrows. He looked like a dad about to scold his children for picking on their little brother. Everyone waited to see how he would retaliate.

“Come on, guys. Seriously?” He traced his glare across every face in the room. Even Cap felt guilty for some reason. Then, slowly, a smile pulled at the corner of his lip. “If you really want to make the kid laugh, you’ve got to go for his ribs.”

Everybody blinked in astonishment. Peter’s relief reeled.

“W-what?” Mr. Stark?” His mentor looked down at him apologetically.

“Sorry, Pete,” he said, giving his hair a ruffle. Then he locked his fingers around his ribcage.

Tony understood that Spider-Man was a strong and nimble individual who had the ability to detect attacks before they even happened. His skill set made it difficult to ever catch him by surprise, including the occasional times Tony had tried to poke or pinch his sides to help ease the constant tension he carried in his shoulders. Despite the kid’s happy-go-lucky facade, Peter was an incredibly anxious person, and sometimes needed to be reminded to relax a little, especially in the presence of his fellow Avengers. But Stark rarely succeeded in loosening his nerves, and he’d never had the chance to make him fully, authentically laugh before.

But right now, Peter was trapped, and he had an aunt who loved to share embarrassing facts about her nephew. This was an opportunity too rare and wonderful to pass up.

So the genius billionaire started drilling his fingers into the kid’s ribs. The response was immediate and hysterical. He watched Peter’s face shift from shock to betrayal to denial to defeat in the span of two seconds. For the first few moments, he laughed like crazy, squirming and shrieking as Stark switched between tickling every rib and grinding his knuckles into his entire ribcage. His adorable, uncontrollable giggling filled Tony with endearment. But then, the laughter suddenly stopped. The kid fell completely silent. Stark thought for an instant that he’d hurt him or something, until he heard the new sound he was making.

Squeaky, violent hiccups began to leap from his throat and shake his whole frame. They punctured the silence sporadically and made his body jump against the table. During the spaces in between, he just lied there, laughing so hard he couldn’t make a sound. His eyes were scrunched shut and his mouth was wide open, smiling the biggest smile in the entire world. But the only sounds escaping him were hiccups.  

He couldn’t believe how much it tickled. He couldn’t believe Mr. Stark, his hero and idol, was the person tickling him to tears. He’d be burning with embarrassment were he not so busy laughing to death. By that point, Peter figured, yep, this is it. Things can’t possibly get any worse than this. Then two more sets of hands descended on him, one on his feet and the other on his neck. Clint and Sam were back with a vengeance, and they didn’t hesitate in picking up where they’d left off. Before collapsing into a mess of hiccups again, Peter managed to squeal out one short word.

“SHIHIHIHIHEHEHEHAHAHEHEHIHIT!”

They only tickled him that way for about thirty seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Tony was the one who finally put an end to it, certain that any more would make the kid burst. Even after all thirty fingers had lifted from his sensitive skin, Peter continued to laugh. Natasha clicked the release button, and the cuffs fell from his wrists and ankles, shrinking back into beads. Immediately, Peter curled into a ball, hugging himself around the middle and pulling his knees to his chest. Tony placed a sympathetic hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I know that was mean. We’ll find a way to make it up to you. Want to get some ice cream?”

To his surprise, Peter was still giggling. His shoulders bounced as airy laughs sputtered from his lips. Stark smiled bemusedly.

“Kid? Are you okay? Look, no one’s gonna get you anymore. I promise.”

His reassurance did nothing to stem the continuos stream of giggles flooding from the teenager. He didn’t seem able to stop.

“I think you guys broke him,” Natasha said. Tony pulled Spider-Man to the edge of the table and tried to make him sit up.

“Peter, it’s all right,” he chuckled amusedly, holding him upright and rubbing his shoulders. It was like he was under an unbreakable laughing spell. “Come on now. Can you really not stop?”

The kid’s weight tipped forward, and he staggered off the table. Stark flinched and caught him with a start. Peter slumped against his chest, giggling into his shirt.

“I c-can’t breathe, hehehe…” he laughed weakly. “Please. My sides. Ohoho my gosh…”

Tony patted him awkwardly on the back. The others watched with small smiles.

“You’re fine, kid,” Sam snorted, giving his head an affectionate nudge as he walked by. “You definitely needed that laugh.”

“That has to be the happiest you’ve been in months,” Clint agreed, trailing behind him and tousling Peter’s hair. They both left via the stairs, satisfied with their work.

“We’ll be in the lounge,” Natasha said. The rest of the Avengers followed her. The sound of footsteps clomping upwards eventually faded. The room would have been left relatively quiet, were it not for Peter’s continuous giggling.

“Can you walk?” Tony asked, relaxing a little now that there weren’t so many eyes around. He held the kid with both hands against his back. Peter laughed softly, leaning into his embrace without answering. Stark sighed and smiled. “All right then. Up you go.”

Swiftly, Tony scooped the teenager off the floor and into his arms. Peter was too worn out to protest, too worn out to care. He wheezed tiny giggles into his mentor’s shoulder as he carried him into the elevator and up to the room Mr. Stark had intended to be his Avengers living quarters. Tony walked him inside and pulled back the sheets, then gently laid the kid into the bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow and the blankets were tucked around him, Peter’s laugh attack began to subside, even though his skin still tingled all over. His eyelids grew heavy, and exhaustion seized him full force.

“I know you probably hate all of us for that,” Tony chuckled, watching the kid practically melt with fatigue. “But Clint was right. I think that was the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time.”

He pulled the sheets up to the kid’s chin, then walked out of the room, leaving the door cracked just a hair. Spider-Man succumbed to sleep in minutes, his breathing finally steadying out.

Although he would never admit it, Peter knew it was true. In a convoluted sort of way, he was happy. The walls he’d built up based on the fear and trauma he’d went through suddenly felt destabilized, like reclaiming his old, lighthearted self wasn’t so impossible after all. He knew a long road of healing still lied ahead, and he hoped there were other ways he could go about breaking down the barriers he’d built up. But for now, in the quiet of his heart, he was happy. And it was a happiness he hadn’t experience in a very long while.

[black-coffee-cutie-blog]

how to handle upset stomach after a binge and when restricting or fasting.

[TW: eating disorders, laxatives, restricting, fasting, binging, emetophobia]

as someone with 3 digestive conditions, a relapse always manages to screw up my digestion and overall comfort. I'm sure that there are others who feel that sentiment strongly, so I'm gonna share some of what works for me.

general upper digestive system issues (heartburn, acid reflux, nausea, etc.): antacids are my go-to medicine. however, they come in a lot more forms than you might realize! if your symptoms are minor, regular tums will work just fine.

i also like to use alka-seltzer tablets mixed with water, mostly because the fizziness combined with the medicine really helps settle my stomach. (hint: if the taste of regular alka-seltzer is too gross for you to handle, put some lemon juice in there. lemon is a natural anti-nausea agent. even smelling a lemon takes my symptoms away sometimes.)

if you're terribly nauseous and don't want to vomit, the scent of rubbing alcohol helps, as does peppermint oil. if you're in public, it's nearly impossible to gag while humming or clenching your left thumb tightly in your fist.

if you have nausea associated with acid reflux, skip the ginger. ginger tends to make that a lot worse **when ingested**. However, smelling or topically applying ginger oil does help considerably.

for acid reflux, sleeping with your head elevated is a good idea. during the day, there are a bunch of OTC medicines that help. There are some purple capsules called Prilosec OTC, and the active ingredient is Omeprazole. They work like a charm and are usually inexpensive. I would always suggest capsules over tablets for acid reflux because tablets tend to make the back of your throat feel like it's on fire the second they hit the acid that's already there. 10/10 would not recommend. also, if you're gonna get non-gummy chewable antacids, please drink a bit of water before you take them. acid reflux can make your mouth feel dry and antacids combined with a dry mouth feels disgusting.

if it isn't reflux, ginger comes in many different forms. I find that anything that allows me to taste and smell the ginger as I ingest it helps a lot. ginger drops are good, but usually don't give long-lasting relief. ginger tea is better because it allows for you to sip with each wave of nausea and settles your stomach. ginger capsules are good if you're okay with waiting 30 minutes for them to kick in.

upper digestive issues after a binge: for me, the worst thing i felt when i habitually binged was the nausea. usually, the reflux got better when I binged and worse when I went back to restricting.

for nausea after a binge, Nauzene tablets are a lifesaver. they look DISGUSTING. they taste DISGUSTING. they work within 4 minutes. they're worth it.

emetrol is a liquid version of Nauzene, essentially, and it is NOT WORTH IT. it works within 15 minutes and wears off almost as fast. and it tastes like absolute horseshit. thats a hard pass for me.

i wouldn't suggest antacid tablets after a binge because you need to drink water with them, and drinking water after a binge makes you feel bloated, in my experience. gummy antacids, however, are a lifesaver. I would not recommend gummy antacids with a hard shell on the outside. they taste and feel chalky.

upper digestive issues during restriction or fasting: tea is a life-saver for heartburn and nausea while restricting and fasting. if calories concern you, drink with an ASPARTAME-FREE 0 calorie sweetener. I recommend Stevia. chamomile, peppermint, and lemon lavender are my personal upper GI go-to teas. just about any tea will work, though I would suggest avoiding citrus or cinnamon.

if it's night-time and your symptoms are severe, boy do i have a reccomendation for you: alka seltzer brand mixed-berry flavored gummy antacids with melatonin. these bitches will have you heartburn and nausea free within 10 minutes, and if they don't? that's okay, your ass will be KNOCKED OUT before you can even complain. these are especially helpful for getting through a fast, because sometimes, the best thing you can do for comfort is sleep it off. plus, they're sweet, and they have an added benefit of helping with low blood sugar and dizziness from fasting and restricting.

for lower body digestive system issues (bloating, diarrhea, constipation, pain) in general: when you're bloated, anything minty will usually help. peppermint or spearmint leaves (just chew them), a LOW DOSE (1 or 2 drops) of peppermint oil mixed into tea, etc.

for diarrhea, my best reccomendation would be to NOT TAKE AN ANTI-DIARRHEAL. unless you want to not shit for 4 days while feeling like you need to every few minutes, that's a nope from me, dog. nah, instead, I would suggest eating mild food. the BRAT diet is always my go to: Banana, Rice, Apples, Toast. A bonus is that those are all generally "safe" foods. they tend to be bland and easy to digest, which makes the loose stool stop sooner. also, make sure you're drinking enough water, because dehydration is the main reason why loose stools have killed people in the past. don't drink a ton of water at once, though. space it out throughout the day.

also, normal Pepto Bismol liquid is my favorite for bringing diarrhea to a stop without causing constipation. I would suggest keeping a big bottle of it in the fridge if you're prone to loose stools. I personally find Pepto Bismol tablets to be ineffective in handling symptoms as quickly as the liquid. the liquid coats your esophagus and stomach, which helps with upper GI symptoms too. DO NOT USE CHERRY FLAVORED PEPTO BISMOL unless it is literally your last option, because it tastes HORRID and you will never forget the taste. it will enter your nightmares and pervade your senses when least expected. you think I'm being dramatic, but I promise you, you would regret it.

for constipation, do not take a ton of laxatives. the last thing you need on top of all this mess is an accidental laxative addiction. laxatives don't do shit for weight loss, and they get your body dependent on outside help for digestion. don't even start it.

one stool softening pill is fine. if it doesn't work, don't try and jumpstart the process. instead, take the RECCOMENDED AMOUNT of a fiber powder, or eat some foods high in fiber (these tend to be low-calorie). a quick google search should bring up a list of high-fiber foods.

for abdominal pain, I recommend heat in some form. a hot bath, a heating pad, a hot water bottle. if you're out in public, there are these portable heat patches that you can buy in a four-pack. they're used more often for joint pain, but they help a lot if your stick 'em on your tummy too. if you are a person who gets periods, these help with cramps too, just as a side note. DO NOT USE HEAT PATCHES WITH CAPSAICIN IN THEM. THEY WILL BURN YOU. I don't just mean you'll feel a burning sensation, I mean that I left one of those on my stomach for maybe 10 minutes and sustained a first degree burn from it. nothing makes stomach pain worse like adding another layer of pain to contend with.

If you're restricting at any level, DON'T TAKE PAIN MEDICINE FOR ABDOMINAL PAIN OR ANY PAIN PLEASE I BEG OF YOU it'll make you so nauseous and it's honestly the quickest way to get an ulcer.

kaopectate is great for lower digestive issues but for the love of all things good keep it in the fridge and don't get the vanilla kind. the taste of warm vanilla kaopectate is beyond horrid. not as bad as cherry Pepto, but close.

Imodium pills are usually pretty helpful too. Kaopectate works better for me, but I'd try both to see which one is most helpful for you personally. In terms of overall effectiveness, they're equal, but Kaopectate works faster.

Final notes:

1. I am not encouraging anyone to develop an ED in these tips. I'm just trying to help people feel better. having an ED doesn't mean you don't deserve basic comfort and symptom relief.

2. if you have dogs or kids running around, do NOT let them get ahold of any minty essential oils. peppermint, eucalyptus, spearmint, etc. will all cause children and pets severe breathing problems. kids have died from smelling peppermint oil. don't use essential oil diffusers at all with kids in the general vicinity.

3. I am not a doctor. I'm a sick person with way too much time on my hands and a severe illness phobia. please don't take my word as law. if a certain medicine works better for you, cool! I'm just giving my personal experiences and trying to help y'all avoid the medicine mistakes I've made. also, if you're on prescription meds, ask your doctor before taking other OTC meds.

4. eating disorders suck. these symptoms that we have to deal with because of them suck. if you are in the initial stages of an ED and you're reading this, get help. if you're in the late stages, get help. it is never too early or too late to get help. no good therapist or doctor will ever tell you to come back when your symptoms are worse, and if they do, they need to have their license revoked. the mere presence of eating disordered ideation or intent is enough to merit treatment. if you think it's too late, it's never too late until you're dead. don't let it get that far, please. you can be happy. you can be healthy. you deserve to be happy and healthy and alive. you deserve to thrive. you deserve to be okay.

i love you all. if you ever need ANYTHING, I'm one message away. i hope y'all feel better soon. 💞